Returnings
by NerdySkeleton
Summary: People Valkyrie and Skulduggery have met over the course of their partnership keep popping up and causing a ruckus. After words are thrown around and people get hurt, the world will need another helping of saving its ass. Rated T just in case :D Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Hi all! I thought of doing a drabble for what happens in this first chapter, but decided to turn it into a full on story. I really hope you like this!

I have not abandoned my drabble fic thing…just a lunch break. It has NOTHING to do with the fact I have run out of semi-interesting ideas. lol Yeah, I used up my creative fountain to come up with ideas. GIMME IDEAS!

Anyways, Valkyrie is about 23. Tanith and Ghastly are about half a couple. They know they like each other, but they haven't _done_ anything yet. NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVS! ;D

Well, hope you enjoy the first installment!

* * *

Stephanie Edgley, or Valkyrie Cain as she liked to be called, was sitting typing away at her computer like she normally did. Finishing up the last few sentences for her article in the newspaper for the magical world, she rested her hands on the keyboard.

"Lord...I'm bored." She announced aloud to her house, which she still called Gordon's house. Valkyrie sighed and began to get up. She noticed her mistakes in the article and quickly fixed them as fast as she could. Breathing out deeply, she said,

"Maybe we should break out Scapegrace and just go chase him around a little. _That _would be kind of entertaining…"

"I dunno who that is, but sounds like fun!" a deep voice came from Valkyrie's large chair. She squeaked and flipped around, summoning a fireball in her hands. She looked around the room, but saw no one. She suddenly felt a finger tap her shoulder. Whipping around, she looked, and still saw no one.

"Okay. This is getting annoying. Come out here and face me like a man or woman! It depends!" Valkyrie called out to the room.

"Right here." Came the voice. Valkyrie turned as fast as she could, and she only saw a small cloud of smoke where the voice came from.

"Over here," this time, the voice came from right in front of her. She almost threw the fireball, until she found a regular looking guy. A teleporter.

"Nooooooooooo. No way. There's only _one _teleporter left in the world….and I hate him. Fletcher Renn, get out of my house," she yelled. "You are most certainly not welcome here!"

"Aww come on! Just for a little bit!?" Fletcher begged. He fell down to his knees, crawling up to Valkyrie. He grabbed her leg and pretended to sob into it.

"Fletcher," Valkyrie pleaded as she tried to move. "Get off of me please. This isn't funny. Not in one little bit. Especially for a 26 year old!" She drew out her palm and shot him across the room. He grunted and teleported again.

"Not fair! I don't know where you're going!"

"_Life's not fair!" _Fletcher's echo-y voice came from the stairwell.

"Oh, are we Mr. Sensitive? Writing poetry and making up philosophies?" Valkyrie asked, sprinting toward the stairs.

"Ooooh ouch. Right in the gut," Fletcher said from right behind Valkyrie. She squealed and smacked him on the face. He, in return, slapped Valkyrie back.

"This is not a very warm welcome!" he yelled at her, grabbing her arm and twisting it behind her back.

"Who ever said when you came back you'd even get a welcome!?" Valkyrie asked, kicking her leg up into a man's most sacred place. Fletcher released Valkyrie and doubled over in pain. Grunting, he waddled up to Valkyrie who was standing triumphantly over him. He moaned and clutched his area again. He grabbed Valkyrie and teleported them. After the wave of dizziness passed over Valkyrie, she realized she was at Kenspeckle's. She paused and looked down at Fletcher, who was trying to stand up again.

"Here, you big baby," Valkyrie stretched out her arm for him. He grabbed it and hoisted himself up. She balanced him on her shoulder and went up to the curtains. Walking through them as fast as she could, she passed by Kenspeckle's newest assistant. His name was Seamus and he only had eyes for Valkyrie.

"Oh, are you alright? Does your friend need help? He looks horrible! Did someone attack you? What happened?!" he asked all in one breath. Valkyrie smiled and said,

"Ha, he's fine. I just kicked him in the balls." Seamus blinked, but rushed over to give Valkyrie a hand with Fletcher. Together they headed over to Kenspeckle's main lab. Seamus swung open the door and allowed Valkyrie to enter. She dumped Fletcher in a plastic chair and got out her phone. Quickly pressing button #1, she called Skulduggery Pleasant. He picked up on the second ring.

"What is it?" he asked quickly.

"Relax, you big spaz. Get to Kenspeckle's quick. You gotta see this"

"On my way," Skulduggery said and hung up. Valkyrie quickly dialed button #2 and Tanith answered her cell phone just as quick.

"You and Ghastly need to get over to Kenspeckle's as fast you can. It's urgent."

"We'll be there in a few minutes. And don't always assume that me and Ghastly are always together!"

"Yeah, but you usually are."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," Tanith's phone went dead.

"What in the world is so urgent Seamus?" the cranky old professor asked, as he was being pushed into the lab.

"It's Valkyrie!" Seamus pointed to her and Kenspeckle headed over to her.

"Hey Kenspeckle. I'm fine, but you may wanna check him out…." Valkyrie said, turning him over to the right, where Fletcher lay sprawled across the chairs.

"Oh not that kid again! I thought you left for good!" Kenspeckle threw his hands up in irritation. "What's wrong, Renn?" Fletcher raised his finger and pointed at Valkyrie. She adjusted her black top and whistled innocently.

"What happened, dear?"

"Oh ya know. I just kicked him the in balls is all," Valkyrie said, trying not to laugh at everyone's faces.

"Well…uh…I can't really help with that."

"I figured, but Fletcher was the idiot who brought us here." Kenspeckle chuckled and went over to examine Fletcher. He noticed the red mark on his cheek. He pointed to it and looked at Valkyrie.

"Guilty again," she said, smiling widely.

"Seamus," Kenspeckle commanded. "Ice." Seamus ran out of the room and there was a loud crashing noise, followed by some yelling. The doors burst open and Skulduggery, Tanith, and Ghastly walked in.

"What's wrong!?" they all asked at the same time.

"Tanith…hello…." Fletcher said, walking up to Tanith, completely disregarding his 'injury'. All three of their mouths dropped open. Tanith ran up to the wall and sat down on the ceiling, clearly annoyed at Fletcher and his drooling over her. Ghastly stepped up in front and puffed out his large chest. Fletcher cowered back a bit.

"Oh _you_ again," Skulduggery pointed a finger at Fletcher. He moaned and bent down. Seamus came bustling in again with a large pack of ice. He hesitated, and then handed it to Fletcher. He grabbed it and placed it on his crotch. Ghastly and Skulduggery looked at each other, then turned to Valkyrie.

"What happened?"

"I kicked him in the balls!" Valkyrie replied, smiling as wide as she could. Tanith started laughing and dropped down from the ceiling. She came over to Valkyrie, who was laughing just as hard as she was. They high-fived and flopped down on the floor.

"Shut up! It's not funny! It really hurt!" Fletcher yelled out towards the girls.

They only laughed harder.

* * *

Oh Valkyrie. I can see her doing that when she just couldn't handle his irritating ness. lol But sorry I couldn't think of any other descriptions than balls! :D

I really hope you enjoy this and leave me a wonderful review! I love those! Cause if I get some, I'll write some! HOORAY!

Expect chapter 2 soon!


	2. Chapter 2

_Two men walked around London. One had on thick, dark sunglasses. The other man had on a large hat and even bigger sunglasses. They silently walked through the streets, getting odd stares. The one with the smaller sunglasses nodded his head in approval towards some women on the streets. _

"_This is no time for romantics," the other man hissed. _

"_Aww I'ma just havin' some fun!" the man replied in his thick Texan accent. "Lighten up, Dusk-buddy!" Dusk grimaced and ducked into a shady alleyway. _

"_No jokes, understand? We infiltrate the Sanctuary, torture a few people, and get that girl. That evil, little girl..." Dusk trailed off. "Sanguine, can you handle that?" Billy-Ray Sanguine glared at Dusk from behind his thick shades. _

"_It's crystal, vampia' man. But just one request," Sanguine responded. Dusk rolled his eyes. _

"_Yeah. And?" _

"_Lemme get the girl. I have a perfect plan. And the perfect guy to help me out…"

* * *

_

"So…these are regular events?" Fletcher asked Ghastly. Ghastly nodded.

"They do this about every week. We place bets even," Tanith explained. She watched Skulduggery and Valkyrie assume positions across the large field by Gordon's house. Valkyrie had insisted that Skulduggery teach her more fighting techniques, even tough he insisted she was fine. But she won out in the end. Before, it was mostly just talking and demonstrating. Then it came to scrimmages between them. Both of them were even in their wins. And with Skulduggery and Valkyrie, winning was everything for a while. Valkyrie was sitting in the grass, just staring into space. Skulduggery was removing all the weapons he usually carried in his coat.

"Everyone ready?" Echo-Gordon called out. Fletcher found the ghost like image of a dead guy to be the weirdest thing.

"I've been ready!" Valkyrie called out from her spot. Skulduggery took off his coat and shook it a few times. Checking inside his suit jacket, he produced two more knives. Tanith headed over and grabbed them all. Skulduggery turned towards Echo-Gordon and nodded.

"Alright. No breaking bones unless it's an accident. We don't want Kenspeckle to flip his lid like last time…" he called out.

"What happened last time" Fletcher asked Tanith, this time.

"Valkyrie broke her leg and Kenspeckle, like, _exploded_. He really disapproves of all this. No matter how many times we insist that Valkyrie is 23, he just refuses to listen. It's pretty annoying, especially to Valkyrie." Tanith explained. Fletcher nodded and sat back in the grass further.

"Bring it on, Pleasant." Valkyrie yelled over to Skulduggery's side. He laughed.

"Ha, just make sure I don't get ya too bad, Cain!"

"Ready," Echo-Gordon called out. "GO!" It all happened so fast. The air shimmered in the middle of them both, and Skulduggery went leaping the air, pushing his palm downwards, and shifting the air. Valkyrie shot backwards, but quickly regained herself. She laughed as Skulduggery charged towards, losing his hat. He threw a punch, but Valkyrie easily dodged it. She dropped down and swung out her leg, while punching Skulduggery in the gut. He bent forwards and landed on his butt. Valkyrie smiled and laughed.

"Need a hand?" she asked, extending her arm. Skulduggery grabbed it, but flipped Valkyrie over. She landed on her back, having the wind knocked out of her. She coughed and pretended to be weak. Skulduggery walked up to her, tilting his head. She winked and flipped back up. She spun around, her hair whipping Skulduggery in the face. He spun back, and was punched in his jaw. Staggering, Valkyrie shot air at him and he went flying again. Flicking out his palm, he cushioned his landing. She chuckled and sprinted up to him. He landed gracefully, just to be knocked to his butt again. Valkyrie jumped and kicked him in the ribs. She advanced on him again, until he flew up in the air again. He summoned a fireball, but was quickly put out by gallons of water that fell on him. His arms went limp and he frowned. Tanith and Ghastly started laughing hard.

"Skulduggery!" Ghastly called out. Both turned around to face him. "Give up man! You can't win against Valkyrie!" Skulduggery huffed and put his arm around Valkyrie.

"I will take it as a compliment that I cannot beat the girl I trained so well. She learned from the best, so I can't beat her, seeing in how I'm the best."

"Skulduggery…that makes no sense."

"Yes it does!" Skulduggery protested. "It makes sense up in here!" he pointed to his bare skull.

"Ha! I guess. But since you _technically_ don't have a brain, everything you say sounds crazy," Valkyrie giggled. Skulduggery stared at her, before flicking out his palm. In a second, Valkyrie was drenched from head to toe.

"You jerk!" she yelled out and tackled him to the ground. She pinned him down, keeping his hands up above his head.

"I still haven't taught you more defensive maneuvers. Like this." Within a moment, Valkyrie was up on her knees, with Skulduggery's arm wrapped around her neck. She groaned and untangled her legs from her beneath his own.

"I WIN!"

"That barely counted!"

Fletcher tried tuning out their arguments. All he heard was muffled yelling. He laid back in the grass farther. Looking up at the sky, a hand clamped down on his mouth.

"YO! Attention, ya'll!" the all too familiar Texan voice rang out across the field. Tanith and Ghastly were up in a second, ready to fight. Skulduggery and Valkyrie joined them a second later.

"No need to get yer' knickers all up ina' bunch! Just wanted to let ya'll know, someday we'll be after your precious Valkyrie…who isn't here at the moment. Where is she?" Billy-Ray Sanguine yelled out. He scanned the faces, until he saw the familiar scowl.

"My, my! You grew, pretty darlin'!" Sanguine announced, letting go of Fletcher and walking up towards Valkyrie. She braced herself and Skulduggery appeared in front of her.

"Don't touch her," Skulduggery threatened. Sanguine laughed and flung Skulduggery out of the way. He approached Valkyrie, who was actually afraid.

"Yeah….ya' sure got pretty…an' wow…." He reached out to touch Valkyrie's face. She slapped his hand out of the way.

"Don't you friggin' touch me," she warned. He stepped back, obviously not expecting that. But, suddenly, he grabbed her again and tunneled through the ground. A few moments later they appeared about a mile away from where everyone was.

"Just so ya' know, little missy, Dusk is gonna be after ya'….again. I keep tellin' him that he should forget about it and just go about killing other, innocent people. Just for some nice blood. But noooo. He just wants yours. So be prepared…you're gonna be in for a word of horrible torture soon. I know just the guy to make it happen…" Sanguine stepped back, gave a mock salute, and sunk into the earth. Valkyrie screamed as loud as she could. Wiping mud and water from her face, she started running back to where the group was.

She arrived about 7 minutes later. Skulduggery rushed up to her, grabbing her shoulders and asking a million questions a minute.

"Woah. Relaaaax," was all Valkyrie told him. He stepped back and let Tanith take over. She led Valkyrie a few yards away and asked her if Sanguine 'attempted' anything. Valkyrie was astounded. She shook her head no, and headed back to the group.

"Let's go to Kenspeckle's…I wanna get you checked out," Skulduggery explained as everyone headed to their respective cars. Both Skulduggery and Valkyrie climbed into the front of the beautiful Bentley, while Fletcher slid in the back. They arrived at the old movie theater and rushed out of the cars quickly. All five of them ran up to the curtains, then all crashed into Seamus.

"Oh my goodness! What happened?!" Seamus asked, who was pinned to the ground by someone's body. Ghastly helped up Tanith, who in return quickly kissed him on the cheek. Fletcher staggered up and dusted off his pants, groaning and flopping back down. Skulduggery had not fallen over and was now staring down at Valkyrie. She was the one who was pinning Seamus down. She stepped back up carefully, avoiding his fingers. She helped up Seamus who grabber her shoulders.

"Are you alright!? I'm so sorry I didn't see you all coming! I would have gotten out of the way!" he frantically explained. Valkyrie smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"It's fine Seamus. See ya later," she said and bounded down the hallway. Tanith headed after her, bursting through Kenspeckle's doors. The cranky professor flailed around the room, while Valkyrie sat tiredly on the bed.

"Woah. What's going on?" Tanith asked, taking off her jacket.

"Kenspeckle's all mad cause we did out little fight thing and thinks we killed each other. I dunno what's wrong."

"_Valkyrie!_" Kenspeckle yelled out, spinning to face her. "When you all come in here in such a rush, something has to be wrong. Why are you covered in mud?"

"Sanguine came back…" Ghastly muttered as he entered the doors. Fletcher was still walking a bit of a limp after Valkyrie kicked him.

"Bad news everyone," Skulduggery announced, waltzing in the room. "It seems somebody broke out every single criminal in the Sanctuary prisons. Bliss has 18 out of the 50 back. Most of them are pretty regular criminals…but just be on the look out."

"Will do. Cause I've seen them all," Valkyrie said. She winced when Kenspeckle injected something into her arm. She was quiet, then started whimpering in pain.

"What the hell is that?!" she asked, horrified. Kenspeckle shrugged.

"Something new," he mumbled and went walking out of the room.

* * *

Everyone broke apart and busied themselves around the room. Tanith and Ghastly found a comfortable corner to sit in, while Skulduggery sat down next to Skulduggery. He was rubbing his right side.

"What's wrong?" Valkyrie asked. She wasn't allowed to get up while having that stuff in her bloodstream.

"I think you cracked a rib…" Skulduggery mumbled.

"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Skulduggery shrugged and went to another corner. Grabbing some tape, he tried patching himself up.

"There, all better!" he said. Valkyrie giggled. She let her eyes wander around the room, until she landed on Fletcher. He was staring intently at her.

"Uh…Fletcher?" she asked him. He quickly snapped out of it and limped up to her. "Yes, may I help you? And can you please back up and get out of my legs?" He hadn't realized he was so close to her. He really liked it.

"Hey uhh….I was wondering….could I…" Skulduggery had joined them again, still cradling his side.

"Hey, I think I'm about to get asked out or something. Either that or it's something completely awful that I will without a doubt say no to," Valkyrie turned to Skulduggery. He was standing, glaring at Fletcher.

"Well uhh…I don't really have a choice…but I need a place to stay for a while…." He mumbled out. Valkyrie groaned. Skulduggery whacked him upside the head.

"Ow. What was that for!?"

"For being a complete idiot. Valkyrie will not consider this, at all. Right?" Skulduggery turned and found Valkyrie deep in thought. "Oh please! You can't allow it!"

"I will allow it, under one condition," Valkyrie finally said. Fletcher nodded and urged her to go on. "You may stay at Gordon's house, eat my food, use my beds/sheets, yadda yadda, as long as you let my kick you in the balls if you do something horrible, like destroy something or teleport in the bathroom when I'm taking a shower or something Fletcher-y. Got it?"

Fletcher gulped and nodded.

* * *

Everyone returned home. Tanith went back with Ghastly to "work/train". Valkyrie teased her about that. Skulduggery drove Fletcher and Valkyrie back to the house. Parking the Bentley, they all got out, rather quickly. Fletcher ran in and raided the kitchen.

"You're really gonna keep that 26 year old monster with you?!" Skulduggery asked for the umpteenth time. Valkyrie sighed and nodded.

After about an hour, Skulduggery headed to his tiny apartment like home. Valkyrie told Fletcher some more rules (no drinking, partying, _girls_ allowed). She headed up to bed afterwards. After showering and getting dressed, she found Fletcher out in her room.

"_What did I say?!_" she roared.

"I'm sorry! It's just that there's a mystery man outside your door!" he held up his hands to surrender. Valkyrie readied herself and headed down the stairs. Flinging open the door she found the man she would least expect to see. She gasped and her reflexes kicked in. She stomped on the man's fingers. He howled in pain and began to cry.

"I dunno who told you I was running a boarding house, but they were wrong! Get your ass out!" she screamed at him. He cowered back.

"Please!? Just until the Cleavers come and get me again?" he pleaded. Valkyrie groaned and opened the door wider.

"You owe me so big, it's not even funny, _Scapegrace."

* * *

_

Sorry this was like the chapter where nothing happened and went on and on. Just felt the need to include everything.

I reeeeally like Scapegrace. So he's coming along too! He's the 3rd person I giggle the most at, Skulduggery being #1 and Valkyrie #2. He's just so funn.y A lot of people hate him, but I find him to be hilarious. He's just a crappy villain!

Don't worry, things will definitely pick up later on.

And I uh...decided to keep Bliss....keep him _alive_. I CRIED WHEN THE FACELESS ONE AND AKJFDSLJKALKJLKJAD IT WAS SO SAD BECAUSE BLISS WAS REALLY AWESOME AND I FEEL BAD FOR CHINA EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MUCH FARTHER THAN THAT PART DDDDDDDDDDDDDD: Did anyone else cry!?

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this _installment_ and be sure to review! Those are so preeeetty.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes/missing words if there are any....

:DDDDDDDDDDD Lova ya!


	3. Chapter 3

……………………………...I finished 'The Faceless Ones'…………..

……………………………………………………………………………I am not happy.

_**WARNINGS: **_ Contains language.

It was a bright and sunny day outside. But all was not happy in Valkyrie's home. She stormed around the house, slamming doors. If asked, one would have their head bitten off. She flopped down at her computer, just as she heard a rustling from the corner of the room. She looked, and found Skulduggery climbing through her window.

"Have you ever even _opened_ a door in your life?" she asked, annoyed.

"Well, someone's cranky today!" he announced brightly. He strode up to her and knelt beside her. "What's wrong?"

"Go to the kitchen you'll see," she pointed to the kitchen. "You'll laugh your bony ass off." Skulduggery nodded curtly and headed to the elegant kitchen. Valkyrie stopped moving, listening for laughter. She only heard a loud THUNK! Rushing to the kitchen, she found Fletcher and Scapegrace sprawled out on the floor. Skulduggery and Echo-Gordon stood triumphantly over them.

"Gordon, you get down there too. You're being extremely annoying as of late." Echo-Gordon sighed and flopped down on the floor.

"So, uh, Scapegrace, _huh_? What possessed you to let him into your house?" Skulduggery asked. Valkyrie shrugged.

"He was just sitting there on my doorstep, begging to come in. Plus I was tired and cranky. He follows the same rules Fletcher does. I used _extra force_." Skulduggery turned to look at Scapegrace's frail body on the ground. He was breathing heavily and trying to get up. Fletcher was sitting up, but looked to be in pain.

"Oh," Valkyrie added, while heading upstairs. "Thanks for throwing them on the floor. Appreciate that." Skulduggery nodded and followed her upstairs. They got into her room, throwing the stuff off her bed to sit. Valkyrie flopped down on her stomach and Skulduggery sat cross-legged.

"Hey, what did Sanguine say to you? I overheard Tanith telling Ghastly something. They wouldn't tell me. So you have to now," Skulduggery said, crossing his arms. Valkyrie inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Uh oh."

"Well. Uhh….he said that Dusk and him had gotten free and that Dusk was still going after me. He _wants me dead_. Sanguine said he's gonna attack me and send this guy to do so, but I'm not that freaked out. We can take…What?" Valkyrie stopped explaining. Skulduggery was busy pacing very fast across her room.

"Why have you not told me this sooner?!" Skulduggery asked. Valkyrie nodded.

"I know. I suck, but…"

"You most certainly do suck. We could have been preparing for them this time!"

"Well excuse me, I never found a good time to tell you. Fletcher was nagging me, you were putting tape on your rib, and Kenspeckle was rushing around getting in my face! It was crazy!" Valkyrie snapped, getting off of her bed, meeting Skulduggery. He was still only slightly tall than her. She gave her best glare she could manage before screaming and jumping back.

Right there, behind Skulduggery, was Sanguine.

"Hello ya'll! How ya'll doin' today?" he renounced cheerfully, dodging a punch from Skulduggery. He took his arm and flung him away. Valkyrie lashed out a high kick that caught Sanguine in the neck. She tried kicking with her other leg, but he grabbed it. He flipped her over and grabbed his straight razor. Skulduggery ran up and forced the air around the razor. It went flying, and landed in the wall. Both men grunted, as Valkyrie shot air at them both.

"Him! Not me!" Skulduggery yelled out, while getting his gun out.

"WAIT!" Sanguine yelled out. He put his hands up in surrender, and hung his head down low. Valkyrie joined Skulduggery, who still hadn't lowered his gun.

"What, Sanguine!? Do you want your precious knife back? Can you not fight like a real man?" Valkyrie spat.

"Oh yeah. _Sanguine_ sure can. I, however, not so much…" Skulduggery and Valkyrie watched in amazement as 'Sanguine' started to slowly transform. He grew about another foot, and his whole appearance changed. The clothes changed from Sanguine's regular tattered suit, to a deep green vest with dark blue jeans. They were ripped everywhere, and the black shirt beneath the vest had cuts in its arms. His hair shortened and turned to a greasy black color. His eyes grew wider and kept continuously changing colors going from green, purple, yellow, red, blue, then finally landing orange. He sighed and stretched out his legs.

"Feels good to be yourself again, don't it?" he asked. Strolling around Valkyrie's room, he examined every little thing. "Well, should we get those aaaawkward introductions out of the way first?" Both Skulduggery and Valkyrie advanced.

"Ah. Freeze," The man flicked his wrist and both could not move any further.

"What the hell?" Valkyrie asked. "Who are you?"

"I'ma Jones Hall. Specialist in shape-shifting and commanding people to do shit. What bout you, pretty darlin'?" Jones had a Texas accent just like Sanguine.

"Do you know Sanguine?" Valkyrie asked.

"Well," Jones mused. "That's a very interesting name. Can't imagine how you came up with that." He chuckled and went over to her. "Now. Name?" he cupped her chin in his hand and glared at her.

"My name is Valkyrie Cain. Do you know Sanguine!?"

"HOLD YOUR HORSES," he yelled at Valkyrie. She immediately stopped and fell down to the ground.

"Your name, skeleton. Isn't it something Pleasant?" he asked, fingering Skulduggery's gun.

"Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Aah. Yeah. Mr. Funnybones! I've wanted to meet you for a loooong time. Billy-Ray says you're a hoot. Same with the girl. Apparently everyone _loves_ you around the ~magical~ world. But from what I've heard from Dusk, the girl is an 'asshole'. His words not mine! Don't get so defensive on me skeleton!" Jones stepped back. He slowly moved his wrist in a circular motion. Valkyrie found herself go over to Skulduggery's gun and pick it up. She cocked it. Raising it to her neck, she pressed it up against her skin.

"HEY!" Fletcher and Scapegrace suddenly burst into the room. Fletcher teleported and reappeared on Jones. They fell in a heap and were kicking and pushing each other. Scapegrace grabbed the gun and fired it.

"BE CAREFUL YOU IDIOT! DON'T HIT FLETCHER!" Skulduggery screamed at him from his spot where he was stuck. Scapegrace snarled and took aim. Pulling the trigger, someone yelled out.

Valkyrie fell to the floor, clutching her leg. Blood oozed out and got everywhere. Fletcher kicked Jones in the face and sent him hurtling across the room. He regained balance and quickly changed into Sanguine again.

"Sorry 'bout your leg, pretty lady. We'll make it worse next time. I know you were expecting something more painful." With that, he flew out the window and tunneled through the yard. Skulduggery was released from the frozen state and rushed over to Valkyrie.

"SCAPEGRACE? HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED?!" Fletcher shrieked at him.

"I HAD PERFECT AIM, BUT I JUST SUDDENLY TURNED AROUND TO HER AND SHOT. I HAD NO CONTROL!" Scapegrace whined.

"HEY!" Skulduggery stood in between them. "We get it. Now, get us to Kenspeckle, Fletcher. Skulduggery ran to pick up a moaning Valkyrie. She clutched her leg again and screamed in pain. Scapegrace grabbed her leg and steadied it. Fletcher touched them all and in a flash, everyone was in Kenspeckle's lab. The professor turned around and screamed.

"You do not go teleporting into people's personal homes, Renn! Now, what is the problem…" Kenspeckle trailed off as he saw the limp Valkyrie in Skulduggery's arms.

"Oh goodness," he muttered before scurrying over to Skulduggery. He directed him to the plain white hospital bed and adjusted Valkyrie. Seamus casually strode into the room, but as soon as he saw Valkyrie, he screamed and ran out again. Bursting through the door this time, he came with surgical supplies. Kenspeckle shooed out the unnecessary men and began to work.

* * *

About an hour later, Valkyrie woke up, still groggy. She moaned and sat up in the perfect white bed. Seamus shuffled over to her; he seemed afraid.

"How are you feeling? How's your leg? Do you feel bad? Are you weak? That was a tough bullet you had in you. Kenspeckle got it out though. Good thing. You lost a lot of blood. I helped, ya know," Seamus went on and on. Kenspeckle strode over to peer at Valkyrie with a disapproving eye.

"It wasn't my fault!" she protested. Kenspeckle nodded.

"I know," he whispered. "Just annoyed at Skulduggery."

"Why?"

"_He's_ being annoying."

"Since when was that new?" Kenspeckle laughed and patted her arm.

"You'll be able to get up in a few days. But until then, you're stuck here. No if, ands, or buts about it, young lady." Valkyrie put on a fake pout, just as Skulduggery burst into the room. Tanith, Ghastly, Fletcher, Scapegrace, and Seamus followed him. They all crowded around her, except Skulduggery, who had been dragged out of the room by Kenspeckle.

"Valkyrie, even though I want to kill you, I'm still sorry…" Scapegrace muttered. He spotted Tanith and ran off.

"What's his problem?" Tanith asked, fingering Valkyrie's bed sheets.

"My guess is that he still believes you're that retarded brain sucker thing," Valkyrie smiled at the memory.

"Hey! That was pretty cool!" Tanith said. "Anyways, how are you? I heard from the 26 year old ass what happened. Suffice to say we screamed at him."

"We?"

"Me and…Ghastly…" Tanith trailed off. Valkyrie nudged her elbow and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Aww shut up. Nothing wrong with it!"

"What's wrong with it?" Ghastly asked, coming up behind, putting an arm around Tanith's waist. She giggled and leaned in closer.

"It just warms my heart to know you two are all official now!!" Valkyrie beamed. Ghastly smirked and Tanith winked at her.

"Hey, where's Skulduggery? You would think he would have come up by now explaining something useless," Valkyrie wondered aloud.

"Last I saw he was outside here, having a _nice_ talk with Kenspeckle. He's pretty ticked you got shot," Ghastly told her. Valkyrie sighed and began to get up.

"VALKYRIE! NO!" Seamus yelled out from across the room. He elbowed his way in between Tanith and Ghastly. "You can't get up yet! You have strict orders to not get up unless necessary. After tomorrow, the professor will see how you are, then you may get up. But you'll have to stay here. Then you can go home. But I don't know when. Sorry!" Seamus continued on and on. Valkyrie smiled and nodded.

"Alright. Sorry. She patted Seamus' hand and sat back again. Everyone returned to their hushed conversations, when Skulduggery literally burst through the door. He walked straight up to Valkyrie and whispered in her ear,

"I have to go. Urgent. Plus Kenspeckle hates me. It's already awkward with everyone here. I'll be back later." He put his forehead up to hers, then raced out as Kenspeckle watched with a wary eye.

"Skeletons…" he muttered and wandered down the hallways. Fletcher and Scapegrace were having a very loud argument, so Ghastly went to take care of it.

"Well, well. Guess what warms my heart?" Tanith murmured to Valkyrie, fingering the sheets. Valkyrie tilted her head.

"Oh…_you_ know," she wiggled her eyebrows.

"No…I really don't…"

"_You _and….."

"WHO?!"

Tanith smirked and began to turn around to walk away. "A special someone. A friend." Valkyrie gaped at her, almost falling off the bed. She was about to counter Tanith, when Kenspeckle burst into the room again, shooing everyone out again. Seamus remained, looking strange and dazed.

"Blankets," Kenspeckle commanded. Valkyrie lifted her sheets to reveal her heavily bandaged leg. She gaped at the hole the bullet made after Kenspeckle unwound the think white strips.

"Gross," she muttered. "What kind of bullet leaves a mark like that?"

"Skulduggery's bullets," Kenspeckle gruffly responded. He suddenly looked around the room and dropped very low. "There is a man outside the room. He has a knife. He has black hair and glowing eyes. Should we be concerned?" Valkyrie silently nodded her head.

"Seamus." Seamus came bustling over and attempted to help Valkyrie off the bed. Mostly, he just freaked out and tried to get her to stay. Kenspeckle walked her over to the door and quietly pushed them open.

Silence. No one had come to attack.

"………………….Hello ya'll," Jones Hall whispered from up above. His arms and legs were a black with hairs sticking up on them. "I can half transform into a person. Did you know that? I did. And I certainly do like this Torment guy…."

With that, he fell down from the ceiling, morphing back into himself. He jumped and kicked Seamus and Kenspeckle out of the way. Morphing into Sanguine again, he grabbed Valkyrie. She tried kicking him, but he just counter kicked her in her bullet wound. She screamed as they plunged into the wall and disappeared.

* * *

OMG :O WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?! I took awhile to upload because I lost some inspiration, and plus my computer exploded with viruses, but I should be okay for now.

DDD:

And if you couldn't tell, Jones Hall is an OC. Jones really is his first name. I like Jones :3

Leave me a ~magical~ review and thanks for reading in advance!

Sorry for any grammar mistakes along with missing words or missing things...yup.

…………………………………………………………………Still not happy.


	4. Chapter 4

_**WARNINGS: **_ Gore/Blood

BTW, the **bold **text is Skulduggery thinking. The _italic _text is some random creepy voice in Skulduggery. The _**bold and italic **_text is Valkyrie's voice. Just clearing that up for ya. But this first part is the evil guys and stuff...duh  


* * *

_The light shone on Valkyrie. It was a single bulb in a bright light. Exactly like in those interrogation scenes from detective movies. She groaned and tried moving her legs and arms. Surprisingly, they were free. _

"_Well, you ain't very smart if you don't tie up your prisoners…" she whispered to herself. Quietly and calmly getting up from the chair she took a step off of the strange platform she was on. The second her bare feet touched the hard stone cold floor, a huge electric shock rocked her body. She fell back again into the chair and soon all the lights in the room came on. A door at the other end of the large room she was being kept in opened to reveal two men. _

_One was Sanguine. The other was Jones. _

"_Heya, Valkyrie!" Sanguine cheerfully said, walking with ease on the electric floor up to her. "How do you like our little trap? You can't go anywhere! HA!" Jones chuckled and reached out to touch her. She flinched back. _

"_Now, pretty lady," Sanguine shook a finger at her. "Sit still. We need you." Jones reached out to touch her again. His hand came upon her head and rested there for a second. He gasped and staggered back a bit. Sanguine smirked and turned on the lights a little brighter. Valkyrie gasped as Jones was slowly transforming. He grew shorter and his hair grew longer. His legs thinned and his chest busted out. A black tank covered his top half, while a long pair of skinny black jeans covered his bottom. _

_"I hate being a girl. It's so creepy. I'm a guy, for Pete's sake!" he said in an exact replica of Valkyrie's voice. He looked over at her shocked face. "Oh yeah, I'm taking your place for a little while. Hope ya don't mind. You don't? Good."_

_Jones sped out of the room and tried out his new elemental magic powers. Hurtling a fireball down the hallway, he cackled._

_Everything was going smoothly.

* * *

_

Skulduggery awoke from his meditation at Gordon's house with a sharp jolt. He looked and found Fletcher, face crossed with worry and confusion.

"Valkyrie has been taken," Ghastly said from the corner of the room. He was with Tanith, who was sharpening her sword and had a sour look. Scapegrace was sitting on the floor, far away from Tanith. He looked confused. Fletcher was pacing back in forth in front of Skulduggery.

"…Well, should we go find her or something?" Skulduggery said, hopping up, adjusting his hat. The machine that was sharpening Tanith's sword screeched and slowly gave out.

"Damn," she muttered. She looked angry and hurt. Ghastly looked sad as he rubbed her arm.

"Guys? What happened?" Skulduggery asked again. No one answered. "Uhh…" he paused to listen.

He heard a low creak coming from the front of the house. Someone coughed and slammed the door shut. Fletcher disappeared in a cloud of smoke and suddenly reappeared with a limp body hanging over this shoulder. His face was grim. Everyone did a collective gasp when they saw who it was.

Valkyrie.

Blood was pouring from her head and arms. There were cuts all over her face and her pants were ripped at her calves. The bullet wound was bleeding again and it seeped through and got on the carpet. She had a black eye and lost some of her hair. Scapegrace fainted at all the blood. Fletcher grabbed Valkyrie's arms and lowered her on the ground. She winced in pain and blood continued to flow out. He stepped back to let Skulduggery at her. He bent down next to her and smoothed out her hair. She smiled at him and gasped in pain again. She lifted a limp hand to Skulduggery's bony arm and grabbed it. She brought it to her stomach and lifted up some of her shirt. Tanith screamed and turned away. Ghastly cleared his throat and looked up.

On Valkyrie was a large gash that was pumping out tons of blood. Skulduggery moaned and pulled her shirt back down. She whimpered and gripped Skulduggery's coat. Yanking him down to her level, she whispered something to him. He quietly laughed then gathered the almost dead Valkyrie in his arms. He nodded to everyone and they all gathered around. Fletcher touched them all and they were instantly at Kenspeckle's.

Him and Seamus were arguing over something, but they instantly stopped when they saw everyone. Ghastly lowered the unconscious Scapegrace onto a chair and went to Tanith. Skulduggery laid Valkyrie on the bed she previously used. He was about to walk away, when she grabbed him again. He bent down and brought his face close to hers. She put her lips up to his teeth and kissed him in the only way possible. Silence fell upon the room as her hand lost its grip and slid down Skulduggery's coat. Her head lolled back.

Everyone watched as Valkyrie took her last breath. **(I just killed Valkyrie....)**  


* * *

No matter how much he willed it, Skulduggery would not wake up from this awful dream he was in. He thought it had finally happened, but it seemed to fake. Valkyrie would never die. She was too good to die. So many things left to accomplish. He listened to the quiet sobbing of Tanith and the quiet sighs from Ghastly. Scapegrace was sitting on the floor, with his hands over this face. Fletcher sat with his head in his hands. Seamus was on the floor, quietly crying while mopping up the pool of blood that formed. Kenspeckle was sitting on the opposite side of the room. He was filling out numerous papers about Valkyrie. He had taken her dead body to the old morgue that the Grotesquery almost destroyed all those years ago.

Hours passed, and eventually, everyone went home. Even Fletcher and Scapegrace, who were staying at Valkyrie and Gordon's house. Tanith and Ghastly went their separate ways for the night. Seamus headed out to his little apartment across to town. Only Kenspeckle and Skulduggery were left. The awkward silence was enough to kill.

"Do you blame me?" Skulduggery asked from his perch on the windowsill. Kenspeckle looked up from his tea and sighed.

"Yes."

"Alright. Just curious."

"But I blame myself more." Skulduggery turned to look at Kenspeckle. His face was tired and Skulduggery finally noticed how old he really looked. "_I _led her outside to get captured. _I _got knocked away. _I _let her get taken." He sighed and got up to the doors.

"You're welcome to stay." Skulduggery sat there, staring out the window. He nodded and hopped down. He slid into the beautiful Bentley and drove off to his tiny apartment. He cut the engine, opened the door, threw down his hat, scarf, gloves, and wig and began to laugh.

_This is real. This ain't a joke. She's dead. Stop laughing. She won't come in here, laughing along with you. Pull yourself together._

**No, this is a joke. That was probably her reflection or something. She ain't dead. It can't be. This is crazy. I'm a living skeleton and I think it's crazy. I'm a living skeleton who shoots fire out of his hand. You're wrong. **

"YOU'RE WRONG!" Skulduggery yelled out. He was arguing with himself. One of the first signs that this was not a dream, or he was going insane. Hopefully it was the latter.

_**We're not kidding. I'm dead. **_ Valkyrie's voice rang through his head.

_This is not helping. _ He thought as he went to the bed he meditated on. It creaked from his small weight. He crossed his legs and began his meditating.

**It's not a joke. She's dead. ** He thought, before drifting away.

(**Okay, now the italics is the evil stuff that's going on.) **

"_YOU BASTARDS! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Valkyrie screamed out. Sanguine and Dusk were sitting next to her, in huge chairs. Sanguine reached over and slapped her face. She cried out and suddenly had her face against the table. Dusk released his hand from her head and laughed. Soon, Sanguine joined in. _

"_I hope Mr. Funnybones has come to terms with your death. I wanna see his face when he sees ya! I'll betcha he thinks that _you're _the fake Valkyrie, and the real Valkyrie is dead! That's so rich." Sanguine chuckled. _

"_Yes, first he needs to find us though," Dusk replied. Sanguine frowned. _

"_That's what Jones is doing. He's plantin' the letter! Duh!" Dusk rolled his eyes. He got up and slapped Valkyrie again for good measure. _

"_One question," she said. Sanguine raised an eyebrow. "Why exactly do you want me?" _

"_We're getting Vengeous back!" Sanguine clapped and ran out of the room, leaving a screaming Valkyrie.

* * *

_

Obviously, I didn't kill Valkyrie. How could I live with myself?! It would be unbearable. I almost cried while writing this though :3

I'm still not happy with the ending to the Facelesss Ones.....D:

Sorry for any grammar mistakes or missing things. I proofread, but it wasn't 100% job.

Thanks for reading and leave a wonderful review!


	5. Chapter 5

Whoo chapter 5! What a milestone! Sorta…

I wanna thank everyone for such amazing reviews! I don't usually single anyone out (or I just say "this one person") but, this anonymous reviewer, **Bob**, asked if this was turning into Valduggery. I doubt Bob will come back to read this again, but if he/she does, I must say **maybe.** I can't decide yet. Wow…I sound like such a jackass :3 I'm not, I swear! Just very sarcastic!

Anyways, here ya go! Jones Hall is going to make things needlessly complicated…btw.

Oh, I think I'll start having fun with my POV's. I tend to write better in first person view.

* * *

**Skulduggery's POV because he's amazing and deserves the first POV. **

I was sitting in Valkyrie's room. I had no idea why I was there, I just was. It was making me sadder about her…strange death. I didn't need any more of sadness.

First, my wife dies.

Then my daughter.

Then I die.

Then I'm a bloody skeleton.

Then she goes and dies on me.

Valkyrie's too strong to die. It makes no sense to me, whatsoever. I can't understand it. Plus, wouldn't Dusk want _me _to be there and actually watch her get tortured, _then _watch her die in my arms? I will never understand vampires. I sighed and stood up from the center of the room. As I was readjusting my coat, a soft knock came at the door.

"Yes?" The door opened and revealed Fletcher. He looked tired.

"Just wondering if you were alright," he asked, dully.

"I'm fine, Fletcher, thank you for asking," I responded, just as dully. He shrugged and left the door open a crack. I flopped down onto the floor again.

It was too quiet.

Valkyrie should be on the bed, arguing with me for no reason.

Or downstairs yelling at Gordon.

Or laughing hysterically at me for something that happened years ago.

Or whispering stuff into Tanith's ear and laughing.

Or telling Scapegrace to shut it.

Or reading some of Gordon's books over again.

Or doing _something_ other than lying in Kenspeckle's morgue!

I silently sat there, staring at the white ceiling, listening for the faint rustle of the wind shifting, signaling me that she had come back. But no. Instead I heard a very strangled scream. I bolted straight downstairs to the kitchen where the scream came. Tanith was crying with Ghastly handing her occasional tissues. Scapegrace was sitting on the counter, getting it all muddy. Fletcher stood casually up next to Scapegrace with his head hung down low. My vision went down to the floor and saw Echo-Gordon on his knees. His hands were all bunched up and it looked like he was crying. Everyone turned to look at me and another one of Echo-Gordon's strangled sobs escaped his transparent throat. He slowly stood up and fluttered over to me.

"How did it happen?" he whispered to me.

"Loss of blood and a deep cut on her stomach…" Echo-Gordon sighed.

"_Who?_"

"Old enemies. Still can't get over a few small grudges from years ago it seems," I sighed and reached out to him. He sighed and floated off up the stairs to his study once again.

How would we ever get through this?

* * *

**(A/N: Evil guy stuff FTW! Typing and reading in italics is annoying, so this is just in regular text.)**

**Jones Hall's POV**

Torturing the chick was fuuuuun. Billy-Ray would slap her whenever she tried to get up. Then the jackass vampire would scratch her with his _manly_ fingernails. I swear he must paint them! But, I digress. What does that word even mean? Oh well, time to torture.

I walked over to Cain's chair brushing out her long hair from both of our faces.

"How goes it?" I asked. She looked up at me, with tired eyes. She snarled when she noticed I still looked like her.

"What are you planning to do?"

"Just be you for a while. I need to mold into this appearance if I need to hold it for a few months. Shape-shifters always run the risk of molting out into their original appearance," I explained. She glared at me with such pure hatred in her eyes, I almost laughed.

"You're kinda cute when you're angry," I observed. Slipping my hand on her face, I leaned in, back to my original _man_ state. She flung back when she noticed how quickly I had changed. She was so easy to impress.

"Wanna see a cool trick?" I asked, taking a step back. She rolled her eyes, but looked at me. I nodded and concentrated hard. It was more difficult when turning into someone with so little about their appearance besides the normal clothes they wore. I felt my flesh melt away along with all my organs and face disappear. My body thinned out to the max and my suit changed different colors before landing on blue. A magical hat appeared in my hand. I laughed the familiar laugh that Cain had grown so accustomed to over her years.

"You bastard…" she trailed off, staring at me more. I walked over to the opposite wall to stare at my new skeleton form.

"I look just like the bone-man, don't I?" I mused, feeling over my face. The bones were chalk white and my hands were covered in even whiter gloves. "I should be a skeleton more often. It's fun!"

Valkyrie frowned from behind me. "Hope ya know that no one will be fooled by this." I laughed in the velvet voice everyone loved. I snapped my fingers and watched as the flame danced around in my bony hand.

"You may want to watch out for Skulduggery. He may run into some old enemies. Some, not so memorable. Others, he just might beg not to see again," I added, hurling the fireball at the floor. Valkyrie screamed a bloodcurdling scream.

"SHUDDAP!" I heard Billy-Ray yell from down the hallway. Cain silenced, but continued staring at me.

"Like I said, you're just cute when you're angry!" I yelled, melting back into me, and then going back to her. "Now, I have a plan to hatch! See ya later, lovely Valkyrie!"

* * *

**Back to Skulduggery's POV! :D**

Echo-Gordon was refusing to come out of his Echo Stone. I understand he was upset, but so was I. I couldn't handle losing Valkyrie any easier than he could. Oh well. Just got to let him cry out his little ghost eyeballs, I guess. I plopped down on the house's roof, _attempting_ to enjoy the sunset. I rested my mind preparing to "sleep". I settled down and removed my thick coat. Calmly, I drifted into sleep.

I woke up about an hour later. It was night and the wind was gently blowing. I headed back into the house and saw it was completely empty. Fletcher and Scapegrace had gone out with Tanith and Ghastly. No idea why. I waltzed around the house, poking everything I came across. Echo-Gordon had decided to come out again, but was sulking the whole time. He smiled warily at me, but passed straight through me without a warning.

I knew I shouldn't keep going back into Valkyrie's room, but so far no one was stopping me. The door creaked open and revealed the same old room. But it still didn't feel right. Without Valkyrie, nothing in this house seemed right. I sniffed (as best as I could) and tried to smell Valkyrie's old smell. I couldn't get anything. I hunkered down to the floor and just stared at the ceiling. There was nothing better to do.

It was about 5 hours (around midnight) when I finally decided to get home. I shifted up and smoothed the deep wrinkles from my coat. I was about to head out the window, when the wall beside me exploded. Dust and ruble settled all around the air and room. I stepped back, with fireball in hand. I waited, and soon, two figures came tumbling in. One person snarled and lunged for the other person's neck. Vampire. How typical. The non-vampire jumped out the way, getting the vampire in the side. It staggered back, and was hit with a huge flame. It was engulfed in flames in seconds. It flew out the window and tumbled to the ground, running to the river to get rid of the flames. The dust and pieces of wall shifted to reveal the remaining person. They were covering all in black, with red splotches on their face and bare arms. Their pants had been cut multiple times, the same with their shirt. They brushed the all too familiar dark hair out of their face. I nearly passed out then and there.

Valkyrie.

"Thanks for rescuing me! Appreciate that!" she said, before fainting. I ran to catch her. She fell into my arms and I couldn't help but cry in the strange, and only, way I could.

* * *

Oooooh! Well, so, which Valkyrie died!? Is that the real Valkyrie!? Do you know!? Maybe! I know! I only told one other person, and they BETTER not tell anyone :D You know who you are!

I'm sorry things are going kinda slow. They will pick up after a little bit! Probably in a few chapters at least. Like, 2. 3 at the most. I've got a pretty good plan for what I want to happen next. It's gonna be good.

I have large and SMELLY finals coming up soon. So, chapters for this and the drabble fic I got going on, may be put on hold. Finals start in a few days and last a week. Once those are over, school will be out!! WHOOO! BRING ON THE SKULDUGGERY FAN FICS!!

Even though it's boring, I hope you enjoyed this! Sorry for any grammar or just mistakes in general. I proofread, but I always miss something D:

Love ya! :3


	6. Chapter 6

2 things before we get started here:

**Bob**- YES!! That does help. Glad you're not some creepy stalker. And I'ma glad you like it! Mind I friend you on ?

**ThreeBooksInTheFire**- You're weird :P And you're supposed to be confused. That's the point :D Everything will be clear in a few chapters, promise.

* * *

Valkyrie's POV

I woke up with a burning pain in my stomach. Yes, _good morning _to you to life. I peeled open my eyes and looked around the room. It was white and smelled of antiseptics.

_Kenspeckle's._

I sat up as carefully as I could, trying not to move around my stomach, which felt like it was on fire. I looked around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings. There was a small movement beside me. I whipped my head and found a scrawny figure in a chair beside me. The man looked at me and _attempted _to smile.

"Scapegrace!" I realized, astounded he would be here, by my _bloody bedside_. He shrugged and smiled a little bit more.

"I was asked by Fletcher to keep watch," he squeaked out.

"Fletcher? Why Fletcher?"

"Because we can't get hold of _Tanith_, Ghastly, or Skulduggery," he explained. "And Professor Grouse is busy doing something else." I noticed he shuddered when he said Tanith's name. How cute.

"Where's Skulduggery?" I hadn't seen him in a while. Okay, _fine_, a week. But I missed him! A lot!

"Back at your house…"

"Why?"

"Because you half destroyed your room." Ooooh yeah. Dusk's vampire minion sure did it in for me. I lifted up the blankets on my stomach. My torso was tightly wrapped with thick white bandages. I groaned at the prospect of being stuck here for days.

"VALKYRIE!" It high-pitched scream came from the front. Scapegrace and I looked up and saw Seamus. His face was a combination of pure joy and confusion. He literally ran up to me, grabbing me hand and _kissing it_.

"Oh, we missed you so much. No one could think that you were dead. We couldn't get over it. Your death just seems so unimaginable knowing that you're too strong to die. That's what Skulduggery kept saying. I knew he was right. I knew you weren't dead. It was absolutely crazy. It made no sense. I cried when I saw your body. You looked so pitiful and well…dead. It was too much to bare!" he rambled on. I smiled and motioned for his face to come down to mine. I kissed him lightly on his lips and watched his cheeks flare up in a nice rose color. He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder, applying pressure, signaling I should lye down.

"We don't want your wounds to open up again. You need to relax. That's what the doctor and his assistant ordered!" I laughed and shifted a little so I was comfortable. Scapegrace got up from his creaky chair and opened the wide white doors. I saw him motion over behind him, but couldn't see the figure he was talking too. Scapegrace stepped out of the way, and I couldn't help but sit up. Seamus tried getting me back down, but I was too distracted by my skeleton friend in front of me. He put his hands in his pockets, not sure what to do.

"Skulduggery…what's wrong?" I asked, kinda confused about his behavior.

"I need to talk to you alone…" he muttered. Seamus nodded, looking a little angry at his "competition for me" as Tanith would call it. Skulduggery and I were just friends! Nothing more!

Seamus shuffled out, with Scapegrace right behind him. The door swung closed and Skulduggery removed his disguise. He took off his long overcoat and folded it neatly, placing it at the edge of my bed. He sat down next to me.

"…Seriously, what's wrong?" I asked. This was starting to freak me out. Skulduggery was a talker, most certainly. Never had he just sat there.

"You're not really the quiet type, Skuldu-" I said, but was cut off, when he just about attacked me. He wrapped his arms around me, trying to not to move around my wounds (and failing at it). He rested his hard skull up against my head. It took me a minute to really realize what he was doing.

_He was hugging_ _me. _

His grip around my arms loosened, to let my struggling arms up. I put my arms around his slim back, resting them there. He slowly brought his head back, to look at me. I didn't realize I was _crying_ until he wiped away tears on my face with his gloved hand. He hesitated, and then brushed his hand through my hair. I moved my head to match the stroking of my hair. He chuckled and leaned back.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you too," I whispered back, resting my head up against his rock hard chest.

"What happened?"

"Jones took me…"

"What did they do to you?"

"Uh…nothing completely horrible. Just slapped me around, I guess." Skulduggery nodded, then sharply looked up. A moment passed, before the doors swung open and Tanith ran in. Her arms were outstretched wide, expecting a hug from me.

"Sorry to interrupt your romantic moment, Skulduggery!" she said, gripping my head, shoving it up to her neck. Skulduggery would have rolled his eyes, if he had any. "Oh, Valkyrie. You have _no_ idea how much we all missed you! Even Scapegrace missed you!" I flailed around, trying to get my face out of Tanith's neck. She released her grip, but still holding on tight.

"Glad to know you all care," I muttered, rubbing my neck. I looked behind Tanith, and saw Ghastly and Fletcher, looking a little uncomfortable. I smiled at them, who grinned back. Fletcher came up and awkwardly hugged me. I didn't really know what to do, so I just hugged him. I noticed Skulduggery eying me suspiciously. Ooookay. Ghastly hugged me, for a split second. I love Ghastly and all, just not enough to give him a big hug. We all stood and talked about random stuff, when everyone was shooed out by none other than my favorite cranky, old, professor.

"Oh Kenspeckle. I missed you," I said, as he forced me to lie down. He smirked and sighed.

"Don't scare me like that again, you hear?"

"It wasn't my fault!" I protested.

"But, was that you're _reflection_?"

"Who else could it be?"

"Jones Hall…" he muttered, examining my bandages.

"I don't think so. I _saw_ him as I was being held there. He didn't leave." Kenspeckle nodded, applying more bandages. I winced as Seamus applied pressure to them. He looked at me, smiling apologetically. Both men left, allowing everyone else back in. Tanith immediately started talking about something completely random, but I wasn't really listening. I was watching Skulduggery. He had his hands in his pockets, occasionally shooting me strange glances.

_Maybe he was on to me.

* * *

_

**Somebody Whose Identity Is Yet To Be Determined But I Know Who It Is's POV**

I ran through the city streets. I stole a second to look back. Yep. Dusk's vampire minions were still following me. I wonder why Sanguine hasn't popped up yet. And why hasn't Skulduggery found me yet!? Bloody hell, he thinks I'm dead. That's right. Oh shit.

I blasted the air at a clothing store window, so I could get a disguise. The alarm didn't even sound. I stole a bright pink shirt and black pants. I discarded my old clothes in a dumpster, hopping into the new clothes as I did so. I grabbed a hat from there as well, tucking my hair up into the cap. I shifted the air around me, so I could climb up on the rooftops of the buildings. I peered down over the edge, and found no vampires. Score. I jumped and moved the air along with me as I went from roof to roof. Soon, I landed at the exact spot I needed to be. I threw air at the window of the firearm place. I exploded the glass case the store kept all the guns in, picking up an old-fashioned one, one that vaguely resembled Skulduggery's.

"This might come in handy…"I said, shooting a bullet and then stealing some more bullets. I hopped out of the place, running straight towards Gordon's house.

"Hopefully someone will believe I'm the real one…"

* * *

WHICH ONE IS WHICH?! I tried to make it all ~mysterious~, but I betcha ya'll figured it out by now.

I know I said I might be busy with finals, but....I tend to put off the studying for this :3 But they do start, so I yes, this may be put on hold for a little bit.

Soon, things will pick up! Promise~

Sorry for any grammar mistakes or whatever. Blah blah blah.

Hope you enjoyed it leave me a ~lovely~ review while you're at it! :D


	7. She Returns

Heya! Uhh…awkward silence…

* * *

Valkyrie's POV

I was about to head home after a few days of staying at Kenspeckle's lab. Seamus seemed a little regretful, letting me leave. I reassured him I would be _fine_ multiple times. Ghastly went home with Tanith...yeah. I doubt they'll sleep in separate rooms tonight. Fletcher and Scapegrace teleported home, they were too lazy to walk or drive along with us. Skulduggery just about forced me into the Bentley, no reason why.

"How have you been?" I asked, out of the blue. Skulduggery cruised down the street, taking a moment to stare at me.

"Well," he sighed. "A little _sad_. I'm still a little freaked out about you dying, then coming back." I laughed.

"Well, there's no one else to come and screw up stuff. Unless Jones decides to stop by…"

"How did you escape?"

"I kicked them all a lot. Then threw fireballs at them. Then killed a few vampires. It was…interesting."

"…Valkyrie, you've killed a hundreds of vampires before. What was so interesting about this these ones?"

* * *

_Oh shit._ _He had found a loophole. I looked at a side mirror, watching carefully, as my eyes lightened.

* * *

_

"Well…I dunno. These guys…they seemed different. It's hard to explain!" I snapped. Skulduggery looked a little taken aback. I heard him mutter something, but it was so low, so I just pretended I didn't hear it.

We arrived at Gordon's house a few minutes later. I opened up the front door, and was faced with a pale blue figure.

"GORDON!" I yelled. My deceased uncle gave me a smile, then said,

"I would hug you, but I'd just pass right through you." Skulduggery smiled, and then dragged me upstairs. It was 9 at night. We reached my room, where he paused.

"Uhh…your room is a little messy…" I shrugged and opened the door. Rubble was all over the bed and floor. A large whole that was half covered with drywall was in the wall by the middle of my room. I nodded and marched straight back out to Gordon's old bedroom. I opened the door, and took a deep breath. It smelled old, but a nice, good, peaceful old. I stripped back the covers on the old banister type bed, crawling into the cold blankets and resting my head on the hard pillow. Skulduggery looked over at me, and smiled.

"Hope you sleep well…" he said, before I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**That Same Person Who's Identity Is Yet To Be Determined From Chapter 6's POV**

I checked my battered up phone.

2:47 AM.

"Damn…" I muttered, rounding the corner to my house. "No one is going to believe me."

I stepped up to the side, where my room was. I noticed the big whole in the wall.

"That's…interesting." I pushed the air under me, and gently rose to the top, climbing through the window. Slowly, I crept down the stairs, to where I came across the kitchen sink running. I peered in through the doorway and found one person, whom I probably wouldn't normally be as happy to see, as I was right then.

"Fletcher!" I whisper/yelled. Fletcher turned and finished his glass.

"Heya Valkyrie, what's up?" he asked. He paused, and then looked me over. "What in the world are you wearing?"

"Listen to me, Fletcher. That Valkyrie that you all found is the _fake_ Valkyrie being played by Jones Hall. I'm the real one," I said, creeping up to him.

"The real Valkyrie would not be in a bright pink shirt like that."

"Well the real Valkyrie would be in this bright pink shirt if it was used as a disguise and she was being chased by Dusk's vampires." Fletcher blinked.

"I don't believe you."

He threw a punch, but I crouched down and kicked his legs out from under him. He wheezed, then teleported right behind me. He kicked my shin, and I went sprawling forward. He laughed and began to kick me again. I quickly jumped up, hurling air at him. He flung backwards, slamming against the cold tiles. He paused to cough, then got up.

"I'm 75% sure you're the real Valkyrie," He finally said.

"Why 75%?"

"Because wouldn't we all have figured it out by now?"

"Nooo. You're all pretty stupid," I said, sniggering.

"Hey!" he looked offended. "I take offense to that!" He charged towards me, swinging his fists like a giant bear. I braced myself, then brought my knee, making the connection with his groin. His eyes went wide, then he fell down the ground, clutched his area and my leg.

"Okay…" he said, through clenched teeth and a strained voice. "You're the real Valkyrie. Go prove it to Skulduggery." I nodded, kissing his head quickly. His pain melted away, right there, I think. I ran up to my room, but found it was empty. I checked every single room down the second floor hallway, then made my way up to the 3rd floor. I checked all the rooms on the right, skipping Gordon's old room. I looked and found nothing strange about the other rooms. I reached Gordon's room, and peered in the room, just an inch. I stuck my hand in the room, reading the air. I felt two people. They weren't moving much. One was breathing; the other was occasionally shifting positions. I got out my new gun, running a hand down the sleek barrel. I opened the door a little more, crawling in. I looked over at my left, and found my favorite skeleton, meditating in an old armchair. On the bed, was me. Well, Jones. But still it looked like me. I cocked the gun quietly, and then raised it to Valkyrie II's head. I pressed it against her forehead, hard. She gasped, and sat up quickly.

"Hello…Have a nice time being me?" I asked her with cold, hard, steel in my voice. She smiled a little too smugly for comfort. I slowly crept around her, summoning a fireball in my other hand, but keeping the gun on her, never taking it off target from her head.

I nudged Skulduggery, smacking his skull a few times. He flung out of the chair, fists ready to fight. He looked at Valkyrie II on the bed, and then turned towards the light from the flame in my hand.

"Oh hell," he muttered.

* * *

**Skulduggery's POV**

"Oh hell," I muttered. Valkyrie got up from the bed, fireball in hand. Valkyrie II moved her gun towards Valkyrie.

"Okay, this is confusing. Who is who?" I asked, putting my hands up in the air.

"She's the fake!" both Valkyrie's yelled at the same time, pointing to the other one. I sighed. This was going to be hard.

"Okay…prove it," I said, folding my arms. Both Valkyrie's looked at me, then at each other.

"The _real_ Valkyrie wouldn't wear _that_," Valkyrie snarled.

"Yeah, well the _real_ Valkyrie wouldn't snarl like that!" Valkyrie II spat back. I looked from both girls in front of me, dropping my face in defeat.

"Oh come on Skulduggery! It's not that hard!" Valkyrie II said, rolling her eyes. "I just kicked Fletcher in the balls, would the _fake _Valkyrie do that?" I nodded my head from side to side, weighing the options down.

"Would the real Valkyrie have a gun pointed at someone, just so she can save her own skin?" Valkyrie asked, eying Valkyrie II. Valkyrie II lowered her gun, sighing, shaking her head.

"Guess not. But…she would shoot them to make sure the evil guys don't win."

It all happened…not in slow motion as one might think. Valkyrie II swung around hitting Valkyrie's head with her gun grip. She jumped, standing on Valkyrie's hands. Valkyrie II bent down to whisper something in Valkyrie's ear. I only caught little bits of the conversation.

"…hope you know…"

"Ha! No…"

"…awkward…myself…"

"Skulduggery…hate…"

"……Nope."

How soap opera-y.

I watched as Valkyrie II stepped back, putting one bruised finger on the trigger. She shut her eyes, pulling the trigger, nailing Valkyrie right in the stomach.

Valkyrie screamed a scream I had never heard come from anyone before, let alone her. She gripped her stomach, letting blood ooze out onto the old carpet. She thrust around, until all motion stopped. I looked from her, to the tired and panting Valkyrie standing next to me. I watched though, as the Valkyrie on the floor began to twitch and suddenly, stood up. All her features melted away, her hair, face, her _body_. The clothes she was wearing faded away to reveal a suit. She grew a few more inches, while her hair shortened and her body widened, while her front flattened. The eyes flung open, staring at the ground. I watched and they slowly lightened, revealing an orange color.

Jones Hall had fooled me. Did I ever feel bad!

"Didn't think you had the guts! Nor did I think you could escape!" Jones laughed, still holding his stomach a little. "Little lady, hope to see you again!" he said, morphing into Sanguine again. He dropped through the floor, as Valkyrie screamed.

_The real Valkyrie. __**My Valkyrie. **_

She coughed, throwing her gun down to the floor. I stepped up to her, not sure of what to do. I reached out a hand to help her to the bed so she could rest, but she shot her hand out and grabbed mine.

"Why didn't you stop me?" she asked, so quietly I almost didn't hear her.

"I had my own suspicions," I said, placing a hand on her back, the other on her arm. She let me guide her to Gordon's old bed. She took off the ugly hat she was wearing, letting her glorious hair fall everywhere. I stared at her, still feeling ashamed.

"Why are you staring at me like that? You just saw me," she demanded. Back to her old self. Good.

"I don't know. Maybe it's because of your shirt. And the blood on it. But more the bright pink shirt."

"Hey, I was in a hurry!" I felt a light kick to my shin.

"Never thought I'd see you in such a pink thing, no matter what the circumstances," I said, sitting next to her. She grinned her wide grin that she rarely used. I sighed, and suddenly felt a weight on my shoulders. I looked down, and saw Valkyrie was resting her head up against me.

"I missed you…" she said. I couldn't help but laugh a little. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, just 'you' said that when we were at Kenspeckle's. Then I said I missed you too and hugged you…but it was a little awkward, so it's nothing completely personal I'm not hugging you."

"I was not offended at all. Plus, I'm a little gross and probably smell bad," she said, stretching her legs, standing up, and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, joining her on the stairs.

"To go shower. I miss running water." She got to her room, breathing in the cool night air the gap in her wall let in.

"See, I wouldn't have moved. I would have stayed and slept right here," she said, going to her dresser, pulling out fresh clothes.

"Exactly. It only furthered my suspicions."

"Pft. The _one_ suspicion you had?"

"I had a few! Like…3."

"Oooh!" She waved her clothes in the air, laughing. She was heading to the bathroom, but she suddenly stopped. She turned around, waltzed right up to me. I seriously almost fainted.

_She kissed me. _

I staggered back, a little stunned. Not what I was expecting.

"I bet you cried when my reflection died. I bet you cried _more_ when the fake me came back," she whispered.

"I can't cry, Valkyrie. I'm a bloody skeleton. It is impossible since I have no tear ducts nor any place to put said tear ducts."

"Yes, but you hypothetically cried."

"How does that even work?"

"I dunno. But you cried," She sauntered off to her bathroom, shutting the door. I hunkered down in a chair at the corner, waiting for her again. I listened for the shower, making sure nothing horrible had happened. I listened more carefully, hearing slight winces and cries of pain. It was only about 10 minutes later when Valkyrie came back out. She had on cotton shorts, with a small shirt on. She looked a little pained and was holding a bottle of antiseptic and a huge bandage.

"Think you could…" she asked, hesitating. I nodded standing up.

"Do you just wanna see Kenspeckle, though?"

"I think I'd rather sleep and eat first." I took the bottle and bandage from her, standing, waiting for her to show me the wound. She took a deep breath, turning around. I watched as she slowly lifted up her shirt, revealing her back, and the huge, bright red gash. I gasped, stepping up to it. My fingers brushed over it, feeling it over. She winced, and cried out a little when I touched the deepest part.

"What happened?" I asked, still a little stunned.

"Vampires cut me up a little too much. And knives, they helped too..."

"Was it Sanguine's straight-razor?"

"No, it's just regular…I think…" she said, groaned as I applied a little antiseptic to it.

"Can you lift up your shirt more…" I asked, realizing she would have to take it completely off. Her shoulders tightened, as she heard my murmur of a question. Her hands tugged at the hem, pulling it over her wet hair, revealing her…black bra. She undid the snap, with shaky fingers.

**(A/N: Sorry to interrupt this moment, but I just read the STUPIDEST Twilight fan fic EVER. Not kidding. Bella….had a **_**naked party**_**. Let's just leave it at that. *shudders* CONTINUE)**

Valkyrie grabbed her shirt from the floor to cover her front side up. I dabbed on the rest of the antiseptic as fast as I could. Applying the thick bandage, I stepped back.

"You can uh…put your clothes back on now…" I muttered. Valkyrie took a breath and went to the bathroom, clothes in hand. She came out about 30 seconds later, looking absolutely normal.

"Thank you." was all she said, before crawling into her large bed. She lowered herself on her stomach, so not to disturb her back. She shuddered, and suddenly, was asleep.

"Interesting…" I muttered as I made my way over to her. She looked a little in pain, but was otherwise sleeping fine. She mumbled something incoherent, then rolled on her side.

* * *

Valkyrie slept well into the morning. It wasn't 11 until she even stirred a little bit. Her eyes slowly blinked back, adjusting to the bright morning light.

"Good morning. You look lovely," I said, looking at her from my position beside her on the bed. She rolled her eyes and climbed out of bed. She winced when she felt how cold it was. She paused, and let her stomach rumble very loudly.

"When and what did you eat last?" I asked, doubtfully. She looked at me sheepishly.

"Well…let's see…I think it was…a waaay overripe banana. Or an apple. Either one."

I stared in shock.

"When?"

"Wednesday…"

"3 DAYS AGO!?" I grabbed her hand, dragging her downstairs. Fletcher and Scapegrace were in the kitchen, staring at the ceiling. Fletcher immediately stood up, ready to fight.

"Skulduggery! That's not the real Valkyrie! Get her away!" he yelled.

"No, Fletcher. This is the real one," I said as slowly as possible.

"No! That's the fake!"

"Fletcher! I'm real! See?" Valkyrie lifted her front part of her shirt to show her non cut stomach, then turned to show her cut back.

"…Oh."

"Did I miss something?" Scapegrace whined. Valkyrie nodded.

"That wasn't the real me, Scapegrace. That was a fake as being played by Jones Hall…"

"Oh….really? It seemed like you. You were kinda a bitch…"

"Oh ouch, Vaurien. Painful," she said, gliding over to a chair, plopping down into it. She listened to her stomach grumble, then laugh again. She stood up, but fell down on the floor.

"Ouch! Good God…" She rubber her back with her hand, while grabbing the table leg. Fletcher was over by her in a second, pulling her back up. She looked a little shocked.

"What happened?" Scapegrace asked me, completely clueless.

"Cut her back. Apparently that affects her legs as well!" I said, just loud enough for her to hear. She turned, and stuck her tongue out at me.

I went over to her refrigerator, grabbing a carton of eggs.

"What are you doing?" she asked from behind me. I cracked an egg into a bowl, and grabbed a spoon from the drawer. But as I took out the spoon, I grabbed the bowl of eggs as well. The bowl tipped over getting all over the floor. All three burst out laughing. I looked over at Valkyrie's red face from laughing, and couldn't help but laugh too.

What a screwed up family we were.

* * *

WHOOO VALKYRIE SHE'S ALIVE

Sorry it was kind of an abrupt ending and weird…I realized I kept making Skulduggery this huuuge softy, so I tried kicking up the sarcastic up a notch.

I am actually quite proud that this reached a told of 8 pages and…3,275 words! I cranked this out in 2 days! Ain't you proud!?

I hope you enjoyed this and again, I apologize for any mistakes! :DDD There's probably a thousand more...


	8. 239 Deadly Vampires Coming at Me!

Hey, I never realized I never put in a little copyright thing. Uhhh…I don't any own characters except Jones Hall cause I made him.

Hey, do you think I should have any romance in this? I can't decide. Tell me in a review and what pairing you want (besides Tanith and Ghastly cause they're already one). I CAN'T MAKE THESE DECISIONS BY MYSELF, GUYS! HEEEEEELP

Oh and the rules to Have you Ever are pretty simple. You ask something like, "Have you ever driven a car?" and everyone who HAS driven a car would take a drink. Yup. Just thought I'd throw this in here in case ya'll don't know how to play ;0) It comes in handy, promise!

Uhhh….this is really long. You might wanna pee and get a snack before reading! XD Kidding! But it is long…

* * *

**Dusk's POV (I love him! :D) **

I watched and waited. The door creaked open. Black shadows reached out and slithered across the floor. The clatter and clank of armor sounded in the empty castle. The soft soled shoes after the clank of the metal.

The generals were back.

And they were mad.

And they had plans for that idiotic skeleton and his lovely assistant.

"_Dusk!_" Baron Vengeous boomed. "Get your Infected. They have some hunting to do."

I nodded, speeding out of the room, fetching my newly infected vampires.

All 239 of them.

* * *

**Valkyrie's (The real one! No joke!) POV**

"Hold still please!" Seamus begged. Fletcher, Scapegrace, and Skulduggery literally dragged me into Kenspeckle's lab to get me patched up. Needless to say, I was being a bitch about it.

"Seamus, no. That stuff hurts. I don't care if you'll be careful, don't do it," I hissed. I got up from the bed, tugging my shirt back down, and slammed into Kenspeckle. I stumbled back, landing on the floor. He glared at me, arms folded across his chest, foot tapping.

"Hiya Kenspeckle! I'll just be on my way!" He grabbed my arm and dragged me back to the bed. Seamus handed him the bottle of antiseptic and bandage and slinked off.

"Valkyrie, you're a very polite and lovely women who will most times cooperate with people, excluding Skulduggery. But at times like this when I need to look at your wounds and you're being stubborn, I must be mean and play the 'I'm-older-than-you' card. So Valkyrie Cain, sit down, shut up, and suck it up."

I stared. Never had I heard Kenspeckle say 'suck it up'. I inhaled and exhaled, as he lifted my shirt, touching the edges of the cut. I winced and felt the cold antiseptic seep into the gash. Kenspeckle placed a hand on my shoulder, the other pushing my back. Suddenly, I felt so much better. He grabbed the bandages, wrapping them around me pulling tightly.

"There," he said coming around to me. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?" I shook my head, hopping off the bed. "No strenuous activities for a while, alright? That means no pointless fights with Skulduggery, got it?"

I nodded and gave a mock salute. He shook his head, wandering away.

I was about to head out of here to get to Skulduggery (who was staying away after I said I'd kick his ass the next time I saw him). I walked out of the old theater, watching for the Bentley. It wasn't there, but a large motorcycle was. I turned left and ran back towards the field to the left of the theater. I flew over the fence, and of course, found Tanith swinging her sword around. She stopped when she heard me walking up to her. I waved and she bounded up to me.

"I hear from Happy-In-The-Pants that you're the _real _Valkyrie?" I blinked and stared at her. "Fletcher told me!" I immediately started laughing, doubling over.

"Yeah, that other one was fake," I explained after I had finally stopped laughing. "Jones Hall impersonated me. I'm guessing you had no clue?"

"I was a tad suspicious. I don't think anyone can try and match up you." I smirked and suddenly felt an arm around my neck. The person brought me down to the ground, and started laughing along with Tanith.

"Ha, ha Skulduggery. You're hilarious," I answered their laughter. I brushed off the dirt on my pants and stalked up to Skulduggery. He put his hands up to surrender. I glared at him. He laughed again, and started to walk away. I stepped in front of him, gripping his tie, yanking him up close to my face.

"How is this considered kicking his ass, Valkyrie?" Tanith asked.

"I decided not to kick his ass, but I'll just kinda humiliate him. Watch. Skulduggery, how much do you weigh?"

"How much do I what? I'm just bones. And it's not like I've stepped on a scale in a while, Valkyrie. What does that have to do with anything?"

I nodded and let go of his tie. Instead, I grabbed waist, gripping tight. He looked at me in confusion, then anger as I lifted him off the ground with ease. I inhaled and threw Skulduggery as hard as I could. He didn't go very far, but he did go hurtling through the air a while. Skulduggery regained himself, shooting out his palm, manipulating the air for a soft landing. He landed gracefully on his feet, then charged straight up to me.

"That," he glared. "Wasn't funny. Never again will you do that."

"Yes, _dad_," I answered. He would have rolled his eyes.

Then, completely out of nowhere, Fletcher fell on top of me. We tumbled to the ground, Fletcher on top.

"Well hello Valkyrie," Fletcher whispered seductively. I grimaced. "How's your back?"

"Just fine, dirty pervert," I retorted, flinging Fletcher off of me. Skulduggery hoisted me up, completely ignoring Fletcher.

"Can someone help me up?" he pleaded.

"No, you don't have a giant gash in your back. You can get up just fine," Tanith snapped. Fletcher frowned, staggering up.

"Fletcher, kid, what the hell were you doing?" Skulduggery demanded.

"I was jumping in mid air, then randomly teleported here. I didn't think Valkyrie would be here!" He tried explained. I rolled my eyes and slapped him on the head.

"Where'd you put Scapegrace?" I asked, completely changing the subject.

"He went to go steal something. I dunno what it was though. Think he wants knife so that when he gets captured by the Sanctuary again, he can escape and kill you, Valkyrie. But I could be completely wrong."

I stared.

"Okay well, that's interesting. Can't wait," Skulduggery mused. I slapped him on the arm.

"I'm glad you can still feel pain," I muttered to him.

"Glad you find joy in my pain," he said back. I smiled and went back up to say goodbye to Kenspeckle and Seamus. Seamus hugged me _again_ and Kenspeckle grunted when he saw Skulduggery come up with me. I laughed at Skulduggery and his incapability to get the Professor to like him. Skulduggery punched me in the arm, and Kenspeckle got really ticked. He grabbed Skulduggery, dragging him away to a corner. I watched as Kenspeckle wagged a finger at him. He stomped his foot and then was calm. Skulduggery gestured with his hands and shook his head. Kenspeckle scowled at him, then at me. Skulduggery turned on his heel, rushing a little bit to get out of here. He placed an arm on my waist, guiding me out of the lab.

"What did he say?" I asked, when we were out of the building, heading to the Bentley.

"He said he doesn't want to see any more Valkyries this week."

"Well I tend to get scratched up _somehow_ over the course of a week."

"Which is why you aren't coming anywhere with me for a while," he murmured, seeming almost afraid. I gave him my best glare. He looked over at me, recoiling suddenly.

"Don't give me the 'Fletcher Glare'!"

"You deserve it, jerk."

"Would you want Kenspeckle to yell at us again?"

"He can yell at you anytime. He _loves_ me!" I laughed and slid into the Bentley's passenger seat.

"Valkyrie, listen," Skulduggery turned to all seriousness as he began to drive. "Kenspeckle watched you die. He watched you come back again, patching up your stomach wound. He watched me come barging in here, carrying you as you _flailed around_ and had to patch up your back. He's been doing this for years now! He's tired of having to watch you in pain or seeing you with various scrapes and gashes. Hell, we're all tired. Though Fletcher is a complete ass, he still cares for you. Don't you remember after I disappeared in the portal, how he stayed with you for a while? Or how he freaks out when you're hurt, no matter what? Even China cares! The same China who rarely shows emotion for people. I told her about your 'death' and she seemed pretty depressed. I couldn't quite tell, since we were on the phone and such. My non-existent heart cracks a little when I see you lying in that bed, in pain because someone got the best of you. And when you died, it broke altogether. It's barely begun to heal even! I'm tired of having to watch you bleed, seeing you almost die every year. Though I make fun of you and seem like I don't care half the time, you know I really do care. Everyone knows it. Everyone sees it. You even see it! Hell, we make a good team and I wouldn't want anyone any different from you. You're crazy, loud, arrogant, lazy, stupid, hilarious, beautiful, amazing, tough, and just overall annoying. Which is why I love you. But not in _that_ way. I'm way to old for you, anyways. It'd be weird, since I feel like your overprotective brother sometimes and just yeah…I would continue talking, but I have to go."

By now we were standing in the living room of Gordon's house. I stared at Skulduggery in awe. He looked back at me, and tilted his head.

"What?" he asked. I quickly threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He carefully placed his arms on my back, so not to disturb my wound.

"That," I said, after I had stopped hugging him. "Was probably one of the worst speeches I have heard. But thank you for saying all that stuff. My heart just about melted."

I smiled up at him, and he smiled back.

"But," I continued on. "In exactly one week, we are going somewhere where I can beat someone up. Or we're purposely getting attacked. _Something._"

Skulduggery nodded.

"I'll drop by tomorrow to see you. Don't kill Fletcher and Scapegrace. It'd be nice to have them on our side."

"Scapegrace can't fight to save his life…literally."

Skulduggery chuckled heading out the door and climbing back into his Bentley. I waved to him and suddenly felt a cold draft. I turned around, and Echo-Gordon was right behind me.

"That was a sweet scene," he smiled smugly. I rolled my eyes and headed into the kitchen to eat something. He followed me.

"I think you two are good together!" he announced cheerfully.

"Great to know. You really want your 400 year old skeleton friend to date your 23 year old niece?"

"Do you not want to?"

I hesitated. This was a tough question.

"I will not disclose the information required to answer this question," I said in my most posh accent.

Echo-Gordon stuck out his ghost-like tongue, smiling at me. "I already knoooow the answer!" I rolled my eyes and bit into the apple I found lying around in the refrigerator.

"Really?" I asked. "What's the answer then?"

"Yes, you _really_ do. But I wouldn't let that little Fletcher know. He'd get all jealous and whiny."

I smiled and headed upstairs to the study. Gordon again, followed me.

"Fletcher really does like you. You should try being nicer, Stephanie," Echo-Gordon stated simply.

"Maybe when he stops being so retarded and annoying. And a complete pervert!"

"But that's just who he is. Like you're stubborn and loud. Tanith is weird and silly. Ghastly is shy and quiet. I'm amazing and dashing. Skulduggery is blunt and stupendous!"

"Gee," I said, chuckling. "Why don't you marry him?"

Echo-Gordon frowned and stalked up to me.

"Valkyrie, I just want to see you completely happy and with someone amazing and who you love…excluding me," he added, winking.

"Gordon, I will find someone. I'm 23. I still got some time. Relaaaax."

"But with all this running around and fighting you do, you might get killed!"

"Please! I'm too good to get killed! Please Gordon. Just understand that I know what I'm doing and will be totally fine. Just calm down. And like you can be talking about getting killed!"

He scowled and went up to the secret bookcase. He motioned for me to pull the book so he could go sulk in his Echo Stone. I did so, waving a half-hearted goodbye as he disappeared into nothingness.

"Must everyone insist on treating me like child?" I asked aloud. But hey, times were tough. Maybe after we get rid of Jones and Sanguine. Then I can actually kick some ass….

* * *

**Exactly One Week Later ** **(and still Valkyrie's POV!) **

"Looks good Valkyrie. _Now _you can go fight," Kenspeckle told me, scribbling down on a clipboard. Seamus swooped in, removing the bandages from my back, examining the gash. He smiled and told me it wasn't even there anymore.

"Just a slight scar!" he announced. I smiled at both of them, and then bolted out of the window. Skulduggery was waiting out in the field, where I quickly blasted him across the field with air.

"Ha! I have the element of surprise!" I yelled, running up to him. He clenched his fists, running towards me. He swung his leg, but I kicked it up. He fell down, snatching my ankle up, flipping me on my butt. I laughed and helped him up. He smiled, then tried to punch me. I grabbed his fist, swinging in my other fist. I caught him in the jaw. He flung back, as did I.

"Holy shit! Since when were you so bony?" I screamed. My knuckles ached and started to turn purple.

"Damn Valkyrie," Fletcher said, right beside me. I shrieked, kicking him as a reflex. He fell to the ground and moaned.

"Oh. Sorry," I murmured, lending my hand to help him up. Both men looked at me weird.

"Since when did you get nice?" Skulduggery asked. I slapped him on the arm.

"Am I not allowed to help someone up when I make them fall?"

Skulduggery shrugged, grabbing my arm. He dragged me back, then kicked me off of my feet. I groaned and backwards rolled back up. My legs swung in the air, catching Skulduggery in the face. He staggered back, trying to keep his skull in place. I looked over at Fletcher, who was staring at me in awe. I could only imagine what he was thinking.

"Valkyrie, you're amazing," he said with the grace of a drunken bear. I smiled and walked up to him.

"Thank you," I whispered into his ear, gently kissing it. He jumped back, then gathered himself. He grabbed my hands, rubbing them gently. I looked at his face and noticed that actually, he wasn't too bad looking. He smirked and leaned in to kiss me.

"Woah, not so fast mister," I muttered, turning my face and kissing his cheek. He smiled and suddenly disappeared. I looked over at Skulduggery, who was staring at me.

"What?" I asked, and then shot halfway across the field.

"What in the world was that?" he asked, sprinting towards me. He summoned a fireball, but I blocked it with the air. I shot it back at him, almost getting him.

"Echo-Gordon told me to be nicer to Fletcher since apparently he loooooves me!" I responded, elbowing Skulduggery in the ribs.

"Now he ain't gonna leave you alone!" he said back, dodging a punch from me.

"I know! But. Fletcher. Actually. Isn't. That. Bad," I yelled, advancing onto Skulduggery on each word. He fell down, and I quickly pounced. So basically, Skulduggery was on the bottom and I was on top.

Awwwwkward.

Skulduggery squirmed and tried to break free from my iron grip on his arms.

"This isn't fair. Get off," he commanded. Instead, I swung my legs over his, straddling them, increasing the weirdness of this position. Skulduggery groaned and tried pushing me off of him again. I slowly brought my face down so it we were only an inch apart.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

"Just trying to get my point across. Echo-Gordon gave me this whole lecture last week on how I should be nicer and how he just wants me to be happy and with someone I love," I explained. Skulduggery stared.

"So," I continued. "What I want to know is….do you care? I don't want you to get all jealous and be a loser because you don't like the guy I like. Like what if I went out with Fletcher? Would you have a temper tantrum and throw a complete fit?"

"Well, I could hardly be a loser. I'm too good and amazing for that. And I guess it's okay. I wouldn't throw a fit, for I'm beyond that. But I would be a little weird-ed out. Don't we all hate Fletcher?"

"We don't hate Fletcher. Sometimes we do. He's just really annoying most times. And loud. But we still like him, right?"

"Valkyrie. I'm not your father. I therefore have no control over who you 'date' and who you don't 'date'. But I can voice my opinion. If Fletcher dares to do something to you in some type of uncomfortable way, I swear to God I will rip his pretty head right off. Got it?"

I nodded and backed off. Skulduggery sat up, grabbing his hat and dusting it off.

"You know, we could have had this discussion standing up. And not with you on top of me."

"I know," I smirked. "Just wanted to make it stick in your thick skull!"

Skulduggery punched me in the arm, and soon our fighting began again.

* * *

We returned back to Gordon's house soon after I kicked Skulduggery's ass again. He was sulking…again. He went into the living room to be a big grumpy butt while I went into the kitchen to get some ice for my bruises. Of course, Fletcher was there. He smiled and offered me the apple he was eating. I bit into it, trying to be careful not to move my probably disconnected jaw around. I chewed and swallowed, while getting ice for my black and blue arm. Fletcher seemed shocked.

"Doesn't it hurt?" he asked, watching me with the ice.

"It's better than broken bones."

He nodded, thinking it over.

"Hey Valkyrie?"

"Yes Fletcher?"

"Would you…" he sputtered. "Would you want to go out tonight? Or sometime later? Like…just the two of us?"

I grinned. "Definitely. How about some place mildly casual?" I didn't want to pile on the whole 'love' thing. Fletcher grinned back.

"I know the greatest place. How about tonight? 7:00?"

I nodded.

"Great!" Fletcher stepped back. "I'll see ya then."

He waved and disappeared into thin air. I shifted the ice on my arm, digging out my phone from my pocket. I dialed Tanith's cell and waited for her to pick up.

"Hey Val. Something wrong?" she greeted.

"Sorta. I've been really nice to Fletcher and keep flirting with him-"

"Why in the _world_ would you do that?"

"Because Echo-Gordon told me he wants to see me all happy and in love. And also Fletcher is head-over-heels in love with me, apparently," I explained. Tanith sighed on the other end.

"So, Fletcher asked me out tonight," I went on. "I agreed, cause I started it up. So, I wanna know if you can come over and pep talk me or something? It's a stupid request and I feel like a loser, but can you? You can even bring Ghaaaastly!"

"Valkyrie! We'll be over in a few minutes," she grumbled.

"I love you Tanith!" I exclaimed, hanging up. I wandered into the living room and saw Skulduggery still sulking. I flopped down on the couch next to him. I was about to say something, when Skulduggery beat me.

"I hear you're going out tonight…" he mumbled.

"True that."

"Sure you'll be okay?

"Yeah," I responded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you're back still isn't 100%. And someone could attack you, and honestly, Fletcher really isn't a great fighter," he explained.

"My back is fine! And if anyone does attack me, I'll kick they're ass into next week, okay?" I stared into Skulduggery's dark eye sockets. He nodded and got up.

"Well, I have to go see China for a bit. I'm going to find out more on shape shifters," he explained. I nodded and stood up as well. Skulduggery rushed out of the front door, literally jumping into his Bentley. Never knew he was the jealous type…

I waited around for Tanith, who eventually showed up 20 minutes later. I dragged her upstairs where she gave me a very long, and rather uncomfortable pep talk. Never again do I want that. So, I quickly showered, put on jeans and a semi-nice shirt along with uncomfortable shoes. I sat down on my bed waiting for Fletcher to magically appear. At 7:00 exactly, he arrived out of thin air.

"Hey Fletcher," I greeted him. He was messing with his hair.

"Y'know, I think it's a first where the guy cares more about his hair than the girl," I teased. Fletcher rolled his eyes and led me out of the house.

"Teleport or walk?" he asked. I gestured to my shoes, and shook my head.

"These aren't really walking type shoes, Fletcher," I answered. He grabbed my hand and instantly we were outside a rather broken down building.

"Where in the world are we?"

"Well, I thought we were at my absolute favorite place in the whole world, but it seems that someone got a hold of it. Damn," Fletcher explained. I stepped up the rotten door and peeked inside.

"Nothing there."

"Dammit!" he cried out. "I'm sorry."

I smiled at him, seeing him so ticked off. I tottered over to him in my hurtful shoes and gave him a hug. He slid his hands around my back, squeezing me tightly. Suddenly, I had a beyond brilliant idea.

"Fletcher!" I yelled, pulling back. "Take us to the grocery/market/store thing!"

He looked at me in confusion then teleported us right beside the store. I grabbed his hand and yanked him towards the automatic doors.

"Okay, we're going to go in there and buy a ton of food like chips and candy and stuff. Then, we're gonna go either to see a movie, walk around town, or sit by the water. What do you say?" I explained. Fletcher smiled and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.

"Marvelous. I vote the water."

"Good. Me too," I smiled. "Okay go! We got 20 minutes!"

I ran up to the candy isle getting all sorts of horrible teeth-rotting things. Fletcher went the opposite way to get chips and _alcohol._ We met again back the registers.

"This is a ton of stuff, Valkyrie. How much money we got?"

"I have 20 bucks…"

"And I've got 20…"

"Perfect!" I shouted. We paid then literally stepped over to the harbor. Both of us hunkered down on the edge, digging into the vast amount of candy I got.

"So, what should we talk about?" Fletcher asked a little uncertainly. I shrugged.

"We've known each other a while. What were you doing while you were gone those 3 years?"

"Oh y'know…" Fletcher mumbled. "Just traipsing all across Europe, partying…stuff like that."

"Oh such a 'Fletcher' thing to do," I teased. He threw a Twizzler at me. I caught it in my mouth and started munching at it. He stared at me in amazement. We sat in silence together, watching the water lap up at the dock poles. I sighed, watching the sunset over the waves of the water. I suddenly felt something cold touch my shoulder. I looked over at Fletcher, who was offering me a beer.

"Wanna play Have you Ever?" he asked me, taking a swig from his bottle. I grabbed the beer and popped the top off with my magic. I took a small sip, tasting its bitterness. I nodded.

"Okay, you go first."

I put my hand up to my chin in thought. "Have you ever…crashed a car?" I asked doubtfully. Fletcher and I took a swig at the same time.

"Have you ever been skinny dipping?"

I blushed and took a drink. Fletcher stared at me.

"When?!"

"I think it was my 19th birthday…and it was really hot. Tanith and I tried to get Skulduggery and Ghastly to get in, but they wouldn't budge," I told him. Fletcher smirked and took a drink.

"Have you ever…hit someone randomly?" Both of us took a long drink.

"I was drunk at the time…so it doesn't count as much," Fletcher grinned.

"Have you ever had a dirty sex type dream?" I stopped and stared. Both of us brought our drinks up, but didn't move anymore. I winked and took a shot of my beer.

"Well, well Valkyrie. A dark side perhaps?" Fletcher asked after he took his drink. I laughed and looked out at the sea.

"Have you ever thought life wasn't quite worth living?" I glanced over at Fletcher, who looked longingly at the sea. He nodded solemnly and took a drink. I followed after.

"Well, the big question. Have you ever had sex?" Fletcher grinned and took a few big long drinks from his bottle. I just stared. Fletcher looked over at me, and his eyes went wide.

"Never?"

"Nope. I'm only 23 and plus, I got morals!" I teased. Fletcher threw a lollipop at me, and I grabbed it before it fell into the sea. I unwrapped it, running my tongue across it. Fletcher gulped and leaned into me. I leaned in farther. He grabbed my face gently, and slowly pulled our faces closer together. His lips connected to mine, and suddenly I was knocked straight into the water. I shot straight back up flying high into the air. Fletcher was battling a vampire and was losing a bit. I threw a fireball at the vampire, who dodged it.

I hit the dock hard, rolling around. I regained my balance, but was knocked down by a very messy looking vampire. He snarled and aimed for my neck. I jumped up, expecting my large boots to kick him across the face. But my tiny, pretty shoes did little damage. I blasted the air at him, followed by water. I continued on, until he couldn't fight back and he plunged into the salt water. I turned back to Fletcher who just about finished his vampire. He kicked its shin and it went hurtling into the water. We watched as they flailed around, trying to escape the salt water. I looked over at Fletcher, and he did not look happy. He reached for my hand and teleported us a few miles away. I was about to ask him what was wrong, when he pointed over out west. I squinted and saw hundreds of bodies come running up towards the dock. Vampires. Hundreds of vampires who were pretty close to getting rid of their skin. I shrieked and dug out my phone. I mashed the buttons down, stomping my foot waiting for Skulduggery to pick up.

"What did Fletcher do _now_?" he growled.

"It's not Fletcher. It's vampires. _Hundreds_ of them. Please get your bony ass over here? We're at the harbor."

"Hold them off as long as you can. Get them to the water. Do whatever. I'll round up everyone. Good luck," he rushed and hung up quickly. Fletcher looked at me as I took off my shoes. He grabbed my hand and we teleported again, up on a building right by the dock.

"What are you doing?"

"They're gonna be my weapons for a while, Fletcher," I stated simply. He nodded and rolled up his sleeves. He was about to jump basically head first into battle, before he suddenly turned and kissed me. He backed off and disappeared. I watched for him, and quickly found him by the dock. I think he was trying to _talk_ to the vampires. A few advanced on him at the same time, but he kicked and elbowed them out of the way.

I jumped from the building Fletcher got us onto. I threw a shoe at a lone vampire. He turned and charged straight up to me. I braced myself and flung out my hands, shooting him with the air. He flung back, knocking into his vampire friends. They all turned to me, teeth glistening with their venom. I chuckled and walked as casually as they did, right up to them. The four of them all launched a very synchronized attack on me. Two came from behind, grabbing my hands. Another came up to me, swinging his fists around. I jumped in the air, kicking the two vampires in front me. They fell back, while the other two only squeezed tighter. I hissed in pain and elbowed them in the faces. They fell back as the other two came back up.

"Okay, this is getting redundant," I screamed, blasting the air, then shooting a fireball. They both caught on fire, shrieking. I threw fire at the other vampires, and they ran straight into the water. 4 down. About a trillion more vampires to go.

I heard the screeching of tires, but didn't stop to look. I sprinted, fire ready in my hands. There was a huge group of about 15 vampires waiting for me. A few of them had swords and guns.

"Oh fantastic," I muttered, kicking a few vampires in the face. They hissed and charged straight at me. I tried getting my fire going, but it kept snuffing out. I screamed as 12 came rushing towards me. I braced myself for the impact, when I was suddenly thrown up and away. I crashed into one vampire who seemed a little unhappy I had landed on him. He growled and slashed at my left arm. He cut me and blood ran out. I winced and stomped on his foot, and elbowed him in the neck. He howled with pain as I sent him hurtling straight for the water. He fell face first, screaming in pain. I shuddered and examined my arm.

"Valkyrie!"

I heard Tanith scream out my name. I ran towards her, in the middle of a large vampire group. She frowned and sliced off a vampire arm. Her hand shot out to me, and my boots and protective coat went flying. I prayed a thank you and yanked on the clothes. I quickly slammed a vampire Tanith was fighting off with air. He went flying and Tanith jumped, stabbing him right in the gut. Vampire blood got everywhere. She nodded and charged towards more. I sprung forward, towards Skulduggery. I watched as he stomped, elbowed, punched, and slapped his way around. Vampires were crawling away, but suddenly attacking again. He turned to me, giving a wave. I ran straight up to him, kicking the vampire he was kicking with as much force as I could muster. He fell back, writhing in pain.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery called out, beating a vampire at the same time. "Expo 8!"

I nodded and flexed my hands. This was the best attack combo thing ever. Skulduggery ran up to me, 20 or so vampires trailing after him. He grinned and clicked his fingers together. He let huge flames build up in both of his hands. He nodded and thrust the fire out. I snapped out my palms, running after the fire. The air shimmered and the fire went flying straight into the vampire horde in front of us. I called out in triumph. Skulduggery came up to me, giving me a half-hearted high five. I laughed and ran off towards the dock where Fletcher was.

Fletcher was beating off vampires left and right, but he was getting beat as well. He smiled at me, and kicked a vampire straight at me, who I thrust into the water. He twisted an arm and threw the vampire as hard as he could. I chuckled at Fletcher, hearing the disgusting snap of a vampire's arm. She cried out in pain, and scratched at me with her nails. I felt a warm and steady stream of blood start running down my face. I growled and threw the vampire in the air, blasting her with water, sending her far out into the sea. I cackled in victory, and then screamed as I saw Fletcher get slashed with a sword. Blood poured out of his torso, and he cried out in agony. But, he kept kicking and punching as best as he could. I ran up to him, supporting him and keeping off the vampires. Scapegrace suddenly ran up to me, offering to take Fletcher while I kicked more vampire butt. I gave Fletcher to Scapegrace, who moaned in pain.

The same vampire who got Fletcher aimed straight for me. I swung out my leg, but at the wrong time. The sword came down and sliced my ankle. I hissed and blew the vampire halfway across the sea. I turned and came face to face with a gun. The woman vampire cocked it, and aimed for my chest. I pulled my coat in tight, and bolted away. She howled and ran after me. I kept slipping and stumbling from my ankle. She caught up to me, and grabbed my coat. She shed it off, throwing it on the ground. I hissed and pounced on her. The gun went off and the bullet went straight into my left upper arm. I screamed loudly and threw the gun away. I grabbed my own gun and flew back up. I shot the female vampire in her leg and dragged her to the sea. She clawed at my right arm, drinking some of my blood. I thrust her into the ocean, wincing from the bullet wound pain. I turned around and came face to face with another large group of vampires. They had all stopped what they were doing and were just standing there. For the first time, I noticed how dark it had gotten. I turned toward the sea, watching the sun disappear and the moon reappear. I heard the low growls and rumbles coming from the completely still vampires.

They all at once, ripped apart themselves. Bits of skin flew everywhere, and I was overwhelmed with the rush of now fully-fledged and fully dangerous vampires before me.

I got out my gun, shooting a few bullets into the front vampires. They stumbled back, but kept coming towards me.

"Oh hell," I muttered, sprinting to the side. I met up with Tanith and Ghastly, who looked completely awful. Tanith had blood on her sword and on her clothes and hair. Ghastly was bleeding in various places and looked like he was about to pass out.

"Hey guys, how's your evening going?"

"Just fine and dandy…" Ghastly smirked, putting up his fists. Tanith drew her sword up, ready to die if necessary. I stepped back, shrugging into my protective coat, ignoring the burning pain from my bullet wound. I turned, and suddenly, Skulduggery was up beside me. There was blood on his skull and suit. His hat and wig had completely fallen off. His scarf was tattered and also covered in blood.

"So, I made up the odds of getting out of this completely healthy and not about to die. And came up with about 2 : 900000…odds working for us," he announced. I glanced over at him, winking.

"Well, we all have to die sometime, right?" I asked. "What better way than with all you guys?"

"Aww thanks Valkyrie. I wouldn't wanna die any other way," Tanith smiled. Ghastly quickly kissed her and went head first into battle. Skulduggery followed him, flames ready.

"Expo 8 whenever need be!" he called out, before being engulfed into the ring of vampires.

"Ready?" I asked Tanith. She nodded and sprinted ahead. I ran after her, trying to ignore my ankle. Vampires hissed and started kicking hard. I heard Tanith shriek and called out my name.

"Brook me!" she yelled. I smirked and made my way over to her, getting shoved around all the while. I pushed the air below me, giving me a boost. She threw her sword up at me, and I caught it perfectly. She ran and spun into the air, and I sent her sword towards her. She caught it during a spin, and sliced apart 5 vampires. She smiled triumphantly, giving a thumbs up before going into battle again. I ran ahead, to where Skulduggery was. He waved his hand in the air, sending a rush of wind towards a large group of about 13 vampires and they went hurtling towards the sea. I looked over and saw Fletcher, alive, but still bleeding badly, kicking them into the sea.

I went around another group Skulduggery had taken on. I threw my fire, but they dodged out of the way. 2 vampires came towards me, one with a knife, and the other with a gun. I snarled and spat blood. The gun vampire lunged at me, shooting a bullet. It whizzed right past my ear. The knife one came barreling up to me, and I stepped out of the way. He came back up to me, and I was completely prepared to fight him off. But, I was suddenly knocked hard out of the way.

I fell down on my left arm, and caught a glimpse of the knife somehow stab Skulduggery in the back. His face stayed the same, but I could tell his eyes would have been widened and his mouth was hanging open. The gun vampire came up to him, shooting the gun right into the place where the knife went. Skulduggery screamed and fell down on his skull, almost cracking it from the force. I shrieked and ran up and away from the vampires before crashing into another person. The man (I assumed) grabbed my arms and turned me to his face. I cringed as I saw the disgusting scar I gave Dusk so many years ago.

"Hello Valkyrie," Dusk whispered in my ear. I shivered, feeling a chill down my spine. Dusk nodded and pointed his finger over to the group of surviving vampires. I saw Jones Hall speed off, pointing his hands towards the vampires. They all immediately ceased movement and came running behind Jones. He led them away, leaving a tired Tanith and Ghastly confused as to what just happened.

"This was just a warm up," Dusk threatened. "We'll get you all by surprise soon…"

Dusk threw me to the ground in anger, and vanished into the alleyways between the buildings along with Jones Hall and the vampires. I swayed up and speed walked up to the group. Tanith and Ghastly were lying on the cold concrete of the road. Blood and vampire bits surrounded them. I quickly ran over to Fletcher. He was wheezing and looked a little too pale for comfort. He gave me a tired smile as I sat down by him.

"You'll make it, Fletcher, I promise," I murmured into his ear. He chuckled and stroked my hair. Scapegrace came over, bruised and bloody. I hugged him and got up again.

"I'll be right back, Fletcher. You stay with me, alright?!" I called out. He waved his arm from where he was lying down. I sprinted as best as I could over to Skulduggery.

Realization and horror dawned on me as I noticed he hadn't moving from where he fell 5 minutes ago. I flung over to him, trying to carefully flip him over. I heard him whimper slightly and saw his bony hand twitch. I supported his skull in my hand, trying to get him to stand up. When I realized there was no hope in him walking, I slipped my arms around him and hoisted him up. He mumbled something and lazily slapped his hand on my face. I stumbled back, almost dropping him. Ghastly ran up to me, asking what happened.

"He was trying to be the hero and get me out of the way. For that, he got shot and stabbed," I explained, still carrying him over to the Bentley. Ghastly took him and laid him down in the back. I went back over to Fletcher and grabbed him as well. He moaned as his chest wound moved around. I kept murmuring, "I'm sorry" over and over, but I think he passed out. I laid him carefully in the back along with Skulduggery. Ghastly climbed in the front, starting the car. Tanith sat beside him, cradling her right wrist. Scapegrace sat next to Tanith, staying as far away as he could from her. I sat in the back between Skulduggery and Fletcher who seemed to be about dead. I silently cried as we drove out to Kenspeckle's.

We pulled up just as Seamus was leaving. He waved and screamed when he saw Tanith covered in blood. He screamed even more when I stepped out with Skulduggery and Fletcher. He led us up the labs, and Kenspeckle immediately took Skulduggery and Fletcher away down the hall. I sat down on the bed next to Ghastly.

"Think they'll be okay?" he mumbled. I nodded.

"C'mon. It's Skulduggery! And Fletcher! They aren't going to let some stabs get them!" I tried to sound enthusiastic. "They'll be fine. Don't worry!"

I hopped off the bed and went to sit in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs.

_I'll be the one worrying.

* * *

_

Uhhh okay. This reached a total of…17 pages. And somewhere close to 8000 words. MY. FINGERS. HURT.

I'm sorry this was so ungodly long, but I wanted to have _some_ type of action in it! I will REALLY try and make chapter 9 short (er).

I thoroughly hope you enjoyed this complete Twilight-saga-length (XD) and leave me a magical Disney World worthy review! :3

Sorry for any mistakes…you know the drill by now! I would reread a few more times, but it's late and I'm too lazy. Plus I just reeeeally wanted to post this.


	9. The Death and Divorce of a Partnership

DON'T YELL AT ME WHEN I EFF UP THE RELATIONSHIPS AND STUFF

_**WARNINGS**_: Contains most likely strong language, death, depression, slitting of the wrists, and suicide thoughts/memories….wow.

But it's not like I can bring myself to be too dark or too descriptive. I HAVE A HORRIBLE CONSCIENCE.

Oh...I forgot to say I also own Seamus…but he's not really all that important….

Random question: Do you think anyone would be perverted enough to ship Kenspeckle/Valkyrie? I certainly don't (EEEEWWW GOD MENTAL IMAGES). What about ya'll out there? WHY DID I JUST ASK THAT I NEED TO GO WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP OH GOOOOD

* * *

**Valkyrie's POV **

"Damn vampires," Tanith muttered, sulking in a corner again. Ghastly had his arm around her, and was playing with the bandages around his fists and arms. Seamus was sitting on the hard plastic chair next to me, cleaning up the gashes on my left arm. He suddenly looked up and around the room. I watched him in confusion. He leaned in closer to my ear. He whispered,

"The Professor wants to see you after I'm done here…you arms."

I nodded and inhaled deeply as the bandage went on. Seamus smiled apologetically and patted my leg gently.

"He's two doors down the hall on the left."

I protectively grabbed my wrists and headed out into the dimly lit hallway. I found the right door and knocked just to be sure.

"Why would you be knocking?" Kenspeckle's voice called out. I pushed open the door, shrugging.

"Maybe there's something horrible going on in here," I said. I looked around the room, looking for Kenspeckle. "Kenspeckle? Marco!"

"Polo!"

I followed his rough voice towards the left, and called out again.

"Marco!"

"Polo!"

I turned a corner and Kenspeckle was writing something down a small scrap of paper. He folded it and put it into his pocket. He looked at me solemnly.

"Anything happen to _them_?"

I shook my head no, letting my hair fall down in my face. I heard Kenspeckle sigh and walk up to me. He brushed my hair away, bringing my face up again.

"You should tie your hair back so we can all see your beautiful smile," he grumbled. I gave him a tired smile, rubbing my hands together. I took a deep breath and showed him my right wrist. He looked a second, then let the arm he had grabbed fall limply to my side.

"I know how much you hate talking about it, so I won't look, alright?"

I nodded, biting my lip. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. A few escaped and rolled down my cheeks. I wiped them away quickly, turning face the wall. Kenspeckle squeezed my arm and walked off.

"Follow me," he muttered. I marched right behind him, silently crying at my stupidity. He reached some curtains and pulled them back. There were a few beds, and most of them were empty. I had to squint to see the two dark figures lying on the beds. One person muttered something, and then shot his head towards us. I had to cover my mouth to keep from screaming. Skulduggery shifted himself around uncomfortably, trying to avoid my gaze. I was about to say something, when I heard another moan from my other side. I whipped around and Fletcher was lying down with white bandages all around his chest where he got sliced. I sighed and walked over to him.

"Hey Vaaaaalkyrie!" Skulduggery called out to me, waving his arms around.

"Skulduggery I see you, but right now I care more about this guy since he ain't dead yet, and you are. Plus I like him more."

He crossed his arms across his chest, glaring at me. I smiled and leaned down to Fletcher. I laid my hand on his cheek, stroking it slowly. I heard Skulduggery explain what was happening and _why_ it was happening to a confused Kenspeckle. Skulduggery said I was being stupid for dating Fletcher, but I ignored him. I watched his face scrunch up, trying to figure out who was touching him. He moaned and reached his hand up to feel my arm. He stroked it carefully; trying to figure out whose arm this was without having to open his eyes. A small smile crept up onto his pale face. He shut his eyes tight, and then opened them slowly.

"Hi there," I whispered to him. He looked at me, trying to adjust to the dim light in the room.

"Hey you," he croaked out. He winced as he sat up a little bit. "Why does it feel like someone dropped a bomb on my stomach?"

"Maybe because someone stabbed you?"

He nodded his head from side to side, coughing a little.

"You'll be alright, Fletcher," I murmured soothingly into his ear. He smiled, gripping my hand tightly.

"I'll definitely be fine if you give me a kiss," he slurred out. I smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. His hand came up to my neck, pulling me in deeper. I resisted him though.

"When you get better, okay?"

He put his lips out in a fake pout, smirking at me. I watched his eyes close again, seeing his breathing go a little uneven.

"He lost a lot of blood. It might be a while before we get it all in. Then we have to make sure the wound will be okay," Kenspeckle explained. I nodded my head, while giving Fletcher one last long look. I whipped around and Skulduggery was still glaring at me.

"What? Can't handle not getting the most attention? Valkyrie loves her boys equally, alright?" I said in my most innocent sounding voice. Skulduggery lolled his head around, rubbing the bones in his neck.

"What did those vampires do to me?"

"Well," I placed my arms on my hips. "I was fighting these two that had a gun and a knife. One knocked me down, and I was going to spring back up and kick him in the face, but you pushed him out of the way. So, you got stabbed with some ~magical~ skeleton knife, and then got shot with another ~magical~ skeleton gun."

"So…it's your fault?"

"NO!" Both Kenspeckle and I screamed out.

"Valkyrie was doing fine," Kenspeckle growled. I stepped up, closer to Skulduggery. I bent down low, so I could threaten him without having Kenspeckle listen.

"Remind me to take you out to the field when you get better, so I can literally beat the shit out of you. Do not ever say that again. Don't you dare blame others for your recklessness," I whispered, sending an icy vibe around the room. I straightened, leaving a rather shell-shocked Skulduggery. I kissed Fletcher lightly, watching a smile form.

"I think I would vomit right now if I could," Skulduggery said. I clenched my hands into fists, resisting the urge to punch him, sending him across hurtling across the room. Kenspeckle grabbed my arm and dragged me out, before I could even take a step towards Skulduggery.

Kenspeckle led me back to the main lab, sitting me down on a bed. He handed me a box of tissues just in case. Tanith came over to me, putting an arm around me.

"Everything all right?" she asked. I smiled up at her.

"Just Skulduggery being an ass. Fletcher's doing okay though. He's alive and made me kiss him, so he's back to normal. It's just my wrists…." I trailed off, not wanting to finish the thought. Tanith immediately knew what I was talking about, hugging me tighter. Seamus shuffled over to us, gesturing to me. Tanith scooted away, but still stayed close.

"Can I put some stuff on them, Valkyrie?" he quietly asked. I gave him a small smile, and stuck out both wrists. He grabbed a towel and dabbed some purple liquid on them. It seeped into my skin, making me almost scream. He took a green sponge and pushed hard on my wrists. Suddenly, the pain was gone.

"Sorry about that. It's not usually like that…" he mumbled. His face was focused on my scars, staring intently at the rough skin. His eyebrow creased and he tapped one scar twice. It turned red, then pink, and then went back to my skin color. He repeated the process over and over on each scar. He stepped back and announced he was done.

"Thank you Seamus. You've been a great help," Tanith said, giving him a hug. He awkwardly hugged her back, and stepped back. He looked over at the swinging doors, and saw Kenspeckle enter. They both nodded, and grabbed Tanith. They dragged her away out into the hallway.

I laid my head down across the bed, letting my legs and feet dangle over the edge. I closed my eyes and took a rather painful trip down Memory Lane....

* * *

**From the Narrator's POV/3****rd**** Person POV**

_Valkyrie sobbed quietly into the running water of her shower. Her clothes were drenched, and the water was steaming hot, but she didn't care. She had to do something to forget. She paused and heard a soft knock at the door._

"_Valkyrie?" she heard Tanith call out. "Can I come in? I got toast!" _

_Valkyrie sniffed and shut off the water. She stepped out of the bathtub, letting her clothes get water everywhere. The door creaked open and revealed Tanith, true to her word, holding a plate of toast. _

"_Sorry it's burnt," she said, handing the plate to Valkyrie. "Skulduggery can't work a toaster to save his not life." _

_Valkyrie gently smiled, sitting down on the ground. She took a bite out of the crunchy bread and realized how hungry she had been. Tanith sat cross-legged across from her. _

"_How you been holding up?" _

"_I've come to the reality. Not a very pretty reality, is it?"_

_No. Not at all," Tanith agreed. "But I'm glad you're working on it. I don't mean to get all horrible and sappy on you, but I'm glad we're getting you back, Val." _

_Valkyrie sighed and lifted up her sleeves on both wrists, revealing the red and pink scars. Tanith looked for a split second, but shot her hand out, pulling Valkyrie's sleeves down. _

"_Tanith, it'll be a while." _

"_Well it's a good thing that you got a while," said Tanith. Valkyrie coughed and straightened up. _

"_I don't think I can make it…"_

"_Of course you will! You will survive this, or my name isn't Tanith Low!" she yelled, jumping up and unsheathing her sword. Valkyrie laughed quietly, finishing the toast. Tanith held out her hand to take the plate, but Valkyrie pushed past her. She quietly tiptoed down the stairs. Tanith was right behind her. _

"_Why are we being quiet?" she asked. _

"_I'm avoiding Skulduggery."_

"_Why?" _

"_Because he doesn't know about the _hmmhmm _or the _hmmmph_!" Valkyrie said, gesturing to her wrists and body. Tanith nodded and shut up. Valkyrie ran to the kitchen, putting the plate away as fast as she could. She heard quiet footsteps, and turned to find, of course, Skulduggery. _

"_Valkyrie…" he breathed. He took a step closer, then ran and just about full on tackled her. He squeezed her frail and fragile body tightly, never wanting to let go. Valkyrie subconsciously pulled her sleeves up to hide her scars on her wrists from Skulduggery. He hugged her arms together, supporting her skinny body. He felt her slipping from his arms and looked down at her. She was on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest, sobbing, letting the tears she thought she no longer had fall freely.

* * *

_

**Back to Valkyrie's POV**

"VALKYRIE!"

I bolted straight up, falling off the bed, landing on my hurt arm hard. I swore and was helped up by a strong, thin arm. Skulduggery grabbed my shoulders, trying to steady me.

"Taking a trip to La-La Land?"

I snarled.

"Please don't ever say 'La La Land' again. It's not right," I smugly said, examining my arm. Kenspeckle came wandering up to me, looking a little disgruntled.

"If someone doesn't wake up the first 18 times you call their name, try gently shaking them, instead of screaming," he grumbled to Skulduggery. He pressed his hand up to my arm, feeling it around. Seamus handed him the same green sponge he used for my wrists. Kenspeckle pushed the sponge up onto my bullet wound, making it sting and made me want to punch him.

"Holy Jeebus Kenspeckle. What the hell is that stuff?"

"It's old. Relax. If you calm down, it won't hurt as much," he growled. "I'm putting you all in cells and only letting you out once every 2 weeks. I'm tired of having to magically get rid of you cuts and wounds…" he grumbled to himself. I gently smiled, feeling Seamus put the same stuff Kenspeckle was using on my ankle. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. All the pain melted away. Flashes from the past flashed across my eyes. Damn.

I felt a rough hand touch my bare arm, and opened my eyes. Kenspeckle looked slightly annoyed, but still had compassion in his eyes. I looked up to watch the white doors swing open wide, and in limped Fletcher. I squealed and ran up to him. I helped him over to the bed and flopped down next to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I noticed his face wasn't as pale and his eyes didn't look dead.

"You look better," I said. He chuckled.

"As opposed to looking like shit earlier."

"…Yeah."

He laughed and held his bandages. He grimaced and leaned back.

"I'm sorry. I'll be serious and not make you laugh," I gave a mock salute and straightened.

"At ease," Fletcher mumbled, giving a salute. I smiled and hugged him lightly.

"Shut up!" Tanith screamed. Both of us turned to see Tanith and Ghastly glaring at Skulduggery. He had his hands up in surrender.

"What? Just saying," he yelled. I glared at him too. "You don't even know why they're mad at me!"

"I can guess."

I hopped off the bed, and strode on up to Skulduggery. He looked up at me, glaring straight back at me. I shot out my finger towards the window.

"Get to the field. We need to have a nice, long argument," I whispered menacingly. Tanith giggled from beside me as Skulduggery stood up, doing as he was told. He jumped out the window and ran straight towards the middle of the field.

I strode back to Fletcher and kissed him for a while, before heading out.

"You guys are welcome to watch from the window!" I yelled, running up to Skulduggery.

* * *

**Skulduggery's POV**

Valkyrie yelled something and then sprinted up to me. Her giddy smile was immediately erased when she saw me, arms folded across my chest.

"What is your problem?" I started out. She laughed once, the tired, haughty type laugh.

"That's a great way to start this out. What's yours?" she counter asked.

"Answer my question first."

"You would have no idea what I would be talking about if I told you."

"Try me."

"No," she stepped up closer to me. "I answered your question, now answer mine."

I paused, about to argue back.

"Stop the PDA's with Fletcher!" I blurted out. Valkyrie's mouth dropped open, and her eyes became icy shards that stabbed me.

"I asked you what you thought. I asked you not two days ago, and in this very spot! You said you didn't mind and that you weren't my father and yadda yadda!" she suddenly yelled.

"That doesn't mean I want you making out all over the place!"

"Please! That's nothing compared to what some people do!"

"Well you're not 'some people'. You're Valkyrie. I have never seen you romantically interesting in any guy we have come across. Why the sudden spark?" I asked more calmly. Sadly, the calm didn't affect her in the least. She put her hands on her hips, casually striding up to me.

"What are you implying?" she asked threateningly.

"I'm not _implying_ anything. Just _curious_," I said coldly. Valkyrie took a deep breath and clenched and unclenched her fists. She closed her eyes, but they suddenly shot open.

"Why are you curious? You're jealous of Fletcher, aren't you?" she pointed an accusing finger at me. I swatted it away, standing up straighter.

"Stop trying that. You know I'm not," I whispered, trying to give her a hug. She snarled and jumped away.

"That makes me feel so much better! Thanks," she yelled. "Don't think that this is going to be easy. This will not be over for a while."

"What else is there to talk about?"

"How about your smugness, your asshole-ness, your stupidity, your hero tendencies, and the fact that I can't help but feel insecure around you!" she screamed in my face.

"Insecure?" I yelled back. "How the hell does that even work?"

"You're always going on about how we do those little battles and how you've been fighting longer and how you could beat me with your hands behind you back," she explained, quieter. "No matter how many times I try and tell you to shut the hell up, you will never listen."

"Try being more aggressive!" I said. She laughed once, then her eyes turned to stone. I realized she was actually going to be more aggressive, right now. She swung her leg out, kicking my ribs, sending me to the ground. She pushed the air at me and I flew back, but I regained my balance and shot back at her. I punched her shoulder, and elbowed her in the stomach. She growled and stomped on my foot with her big boots. I yelped and threw a punch. She dodged it and punched me right back as hard as she could. I stumbled back from the force of the blow.

"Valkyrie," I croaked out. "Why are you so…what's wrong? I've never seen you so emotionally compromised…"

"It's…I sobbed my eyes out for you! You don't know how worried I was! You don't know how badly you scared me! I was perfectly capable of fighting off those vampires with the weapons, but you just _had_ to be the hero! You got hurt. You could have…died in a matter of speaking! You know that I care for you. You know how lost I would be. Sure, I'm older and wiser now from when I was 14 when you disappeared on us, but I…need you. As painful as this is for me, I truly need you. You have no idea," She screamed, but quieted down. I waited for her to say something else.

"Valkyrie," I started carefully. "I did that to help you. Little did I know that I'd falter. But, I really wanted to help you. I wasn't trying to be the hero. You seemed tired and couldn't keep up the fighting. It's exactly like…it's like in the past sometimes…"

Valkyrie stopped glaring and her eyes went soft. "What time in the past?"

I hesitated. It was never a good idea to bring this up.

"When you got so horribly wounded by that maniac with the purple beard…"

Valkyrie whimpered and turned around.

"I didn't think you protect yourself…just like how you couldn't save you parents," I whispered. Valkyrie completely froze. Her body was rigid. She clenched her fists tightly and screamed as loud as she could.

"HOW COULD YOU FUCKING SAY THAT?" she shrieked. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT?"

"Valkyrie, relax. I did-" I started, but she cut me off.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING PAIN THAT CAUSED ME? DID YOU FIGURE OUT HOW DEPRESSED I WAS? OR WERE YOU TOO DISTRACTED BY YOUR EGO?"

"**Valkyrie!**" I shouted. "Stop screaming. Calm down. I-I-I'm sorry."

I looked up at Valkyrie. She had turned around and her shoulders were shaking slightly. I reached out to touch her, but she flinched back. She suddenly turned around, showing me her tear stained face, her bloodshot eyes.

"You couldn't protect your own family either. Who are you to be shoving this down my throat?" she asked me, quietly, but still angrily. I stopped to stare at her.

"Do not talk about my wife and little girl. Do not. _Ever_," I warned.

"Don't talk about my parents," she countered back. I fumed and clenched my gloved fists.

"Look, you don't understand what I went through. I watched them die horrible deaths. Painful too."

"Oh," she snarled. "Like I didn't watch my parents die. They didn't just die from the loss of blood and didn't _fucking die in my arms_. My mistake. It must be horrible for you. It's been a few centuries. It's been a few years for me."

"I was powerless to stop their death! You could have done something!"

"Like what? They fucking died before I could get them to a hospital, or Kenspeckle's for that matter!" she snapped. "We may have advanced medicine in the magical world, but we can't bring people back from the dead. You should know this by now."

I sighed, getting tired of this conversation.

"I still don't think you know how horrible and depressing it was for me," I mumbled out. Valkyrie tensed up, visibly trying not to punch me.

"Oh really. Okay then," she paused to roll up her sleeves, revealing her bruised and bandaged arms. "I don't think you know how horrible and depressing it was for _me_."

She thrust her wrists out at me, yet nothing happened. I looked at her, then looked at her wrists. I studied them, finally realized what I was supposed to be looking at.

"Scars," I breathed out. I reached out to touch one. "Why did you never tell me?!" I asked, instantly angry.

"Because I knew you'd be like this! Be all worried, and then get mad! And while we're discussing this particular subject, I'm guessing you'd get angrier if I told you I tried to commit suicide, which I did," she snarled. I stared at her, not believing what I was hearing.

"Y-Y-You tried to kill yourself?!" I bellowed.

"Yeah! I couldn't handle the fact that the people who created me and raised me and loved me for a good portion of my life, had been killed. MURDERED EVEN. You don't know what I went through. Did you ever wonder why I would disappear for hours at a time each day? Did you ever wonder why Kenspeckle became an even bigger softie around me? Did you ever wonder why in the world I started subconsciously rubbing my wrists whenever you come near me?" She paused, to roll down her sleeves. I stared down at the ground. "I guess you didn't. I guess you couldn't pay it any attention after your wife and child died hundreds of years ago."

"ENOUGH," I shouted. "Shut the fuck up about them!"

Valkyrie laughed once more again, before turning to walk away.

"Do me a favor, and don't even try and talk to me for at least 2 weeks. I don't think I can stand to see you," she snarled, picked up her pace.

"I wouldn't want to. How could you stoop so low Valkyrie? How could you climb down to those levels? How?" I asked her, following right behind her. "How could you be so moronic and decide to cut and try and kill yourself?"

Valkyrie completely stopped, not breathing, not putting her feet down. She titled her head up to the sky and seemed to whisper something. She turned around and came charging up to me. I stepped back in preparation for her attack.

"I don't know how could you say those things to me. One of your only friends, whom you've known and helped along for 11 years. You amaze me with your stupidity," she glared at me and practically stabbed me with the ice in her eyes and voice.

She brought her hand up, and took a deep breath. I was about to dodge, when she swung her hand and hit my skull as hard as she could. I fell back, feeling the pain from the hit run through my body. I tilted my head, trying to get it from swinging around. I went still when I felt my skull fall off and roll away from me. My hands waved around in search for it. I heard footsteps run up from behind Valkyrie and someone murmuring something. I heard her choke out a sob, and the sound of fabric being gripped and pulled hard. Someone came over to me, and jammed my skull back on. I cried out, feeling it being twisted around. I waited a few seconds, feeling my sight return. I looked up at Ghastly, who seemed a little mad. Tanith and Fletcher were up ahead, walking with Valkyrie. They paused and Valkyrie broke free from their arms. She ran as fast as she could, straight up to me. Fletcher limped behind, but Tanith sped after her. Valkyrie shot out her hand, grabbing my arm and yanking me away. She took a deep breath and stood uncomfortably close to me.

"If you dare try and 'hug and make up' with me, I swear to God I will kick your sorry ass into next week. You have completely ruined our little partnership and I hope I never have to see you again. Consider this a divorce," she growled, stomping on my foot for good measure. Tanith ran up to up and grabbed Valkyrie away. They both scowled at me and speed walked up ahead towards Fletcher, who greeted them with open arms, hugging them both tightly, and disappearing. I looked over at Ghastly, who still looked a little mad. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

Well, maybe a divorce was good for both of us.

* * *

This was a lot of fun to write XD Like the weird flashback? That was awesome. Though Skul and Val's giant argument was much grander and had better lines and such in my mind, I'm still semi-okay with how it came out.

I know Valkyrie ain't the gal to slit her wrists and try and kill herself, but just along with it! It ain't like she _wants_ too. Nope. Not anymore....at least for a while....MWAHAHAHAHAHA *ahem* Sorry.

Alright, sorry for any mistakes and stuff like that. You get it by now. Plus I've run out of witty stuff to say.

Thanks for reading and be sure to reeeeeeview! :DDDDDD


	10. Throw in a Vampire For Kicks!

**_WARNINGS: _**Heavy language and death.

Sorry everyone is being so PMS-y…X3

DUDE. CHAPTER 10 :DDDD

**Fletcher's POV**

All I did was teleport both Tanith and Valkyrie back to Kenspeckle's. It's not like I'm in ship shape yet. Kenspeckle looked at the three of us, then grabbed me and forced me to lye down on the creepy medical bed he had. Valkyrie sat down in a really uncomfortable plastic chair at the other end of the room. Her head was bent down low so her hair was covering her face entirely. I wanted to desperately to reach out to her (corny I know), but Kenspeckle would freak out and go on some tangent about me dying again. I laid my head back and heard the large swinging door open. My head shot up and _of course_, Skulduggery was there. His hands were in his pockets and his head was down.

I can't believe he has the balls to show his face here!

Well…hypothetical balls.

Ghastly followed right behind him, looking quite large and tough. I had to admit, he was a pretty scary guy. He strode over to Tanith and gestured with his hands about something. Tanith's face scrunched up and she walked up to Skulduggery. She gripped his shirt in her hands and yanked him up closer to her face. She whispered something menacing (I'm assuming it was horrible since it's Tanith). Skulduggery sighed and turned to walk straight out the door.

"Wait," Kenspeckle called out.

He grabbed Skulduggery's arm and pulled him into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. We could all hear muffled yelling sounds, but no one wanted to know what was going on there. Tanith and Ghastly tiptoed over to Valkyrie, getting her to lift her head up. She wasn't crying, but she was frowning and her eyes were bloodshot. Ghastly muttered something and she got up from the chair. She gestured over to my general direction. Tanith moved so Valkyrie could make her way over to me. She smiled gently and placed her hand in mine. I sat up to quickly give her a kiss. She rubbed her hand across my face. I noticed her lip quiver a little, trying not to let her almost over-flowing eyes spill out.

"You'll be fine," I whispered. She bit her lip as the tears started pouring down in cascades. She thrust her hand to her face, wiping it dry. Valkyrie smiled one last time at me, and then turned back to Tanith. Both her and Ghastly wrapped their arms around her shaking shoulders. Kenspeckle returned, still trailing Skulduggery behind him. I could tell Tanith was trying to burn a whole into his skull from her death glare.

Good. He deserves it…the bastard.

* * *

**Tanith's POV**

I helped Valkyrie clamber into the backseat of the huge van Ghastly had. He slid into the driver's side, and I sat next to him. He revved up the engine and took off towards Valkyrie's house. Occasionally we would hear the quiet sniffling from Valkyrie, but otherwise, the ride was completely silent. I looked in the rear view mirror at Valkyrie. She had her head up against the window and her eyes were staring out into space. God knows what she's remembering now.

* * *

**Valkyrie's POV**

I could feel Tanith's eyes on me, but I didn't want to look up. I just kept staring out at everything in the quiet streets of the city. My memories flashed before my eyes, making them tear up again. I closed my eyes, thinking of another past event…

* * *

**Told From Some Guy's Eyes…POV**

_There was quiet sobbing continuously going on. The coffins were lowered into the freshly dug earth. Friends first went up and threw a bit of dirt on each coffin, saying a few words for their former loved ones: Desmond and Melissa Edgley. Women cried, while the men just hugged their shoulders. After the friends went, the family began. Beryl and Fergus threw dirt onto the coffins, genuinely sad for the loss. Carol and Crystal followed after their parents by tossing a tiny bit of dirt and an orchid down._

_Everyone fell silent as the poor child, Stephanie Edgley, stepped up. The tall man in the trench coat tried to follow her up, but she put her hand out to stop him. He stayed back, joining the blond woman and the tall, muscular man and the young male with the spiky, blond hair._

_Stephanie peered over her parent's graves, dirt falling from her hand. She sprinkled it around, letting it fall everywhere. She took off her black cardigan and let it fall through her fingers into the ground. Her head dipped down low as she muttered something._

_The silence dragged on, until finally, Stephanie marched away from the graves and back into the open arms of her strange friends. The woman hugged her tightly. All three of her friend's stepped up to the graves. They each gathered dirt and sprinkled it around. Each one muttered something, seeming not sure of what to say. Everyone heard them all mutter the same phrase over and over,_

"We tried to save you."

_They returned back to Stephanie, all standing around her. Her shoulders were shaking. The priest stepped up and silently gathered our attention. He said something more and Stephanie broke down in tears again. The tall trench coat man held her as she sobbed, soaking his shirt. The priest stepped away and everyone broke apart, all heading up to the cars to the little 'after party'. Stephanie walked the other way, towards the setting sun. The spiky haired blond man hugged her before walking on ahead. The blond woman hugged her as well followed by the muscular man. The tall trench coat man stayed behind and held her as they watched the sunset together. Stephanie said something, and then broke down into hysterics._

_She fell down to the ground, the tall man there to catch her.

* * *

_

**Tanith's POV**

Valkyrie suddenly snapped out of her trance. She groaned and smashed her head against the window.

"Sorry," she muttered. I turned to face her, trying to not to cry from her fragile appearance.

"It's fine. Scream all you want," I soothed. She smirked at me, placing her hands on her head. She hunched over, placing her head on her knees. She groaned once more, and suddenly her head shot up. She had a nasty look on her face, like the look she gets when she's beating someone up. Her eyes fixed on the back of my seat, trying to burn a whole into it. She angrily sighed and her face softened. I wanted so much to ask her what he said to her, but I didn't want to make her cry.

"He said I was a moron for trying to kill myself and for slitting my wrists. He basically yelled at me for being depressed over my fucking parents death," she said, seeming to read my mind. I nodded slowly. Good God Skulduggery. Our heads snapped up when we heard Ghastly snort.

"What?"

"Just can't believe him is all," he mumbled, smiling a little at Valkyrie. She smiled back; obviously happy everyone hated him at that moment.

"I don't know how he could say those things. Especially to sweet ol' Valkyrie!" I blurted out. Valkyrie kicked my seat gently, laughing slightly. "Well! It's horrible."

"I for one, agree completely, Tanith."

I smiled at Valkyrie. I could tell she wasn't going to let this get to her too much. We all sat in silence, until Valkyrie's phone began to ring. It was the most obnoxious ringtone she could find, and it fit Skulduggery perfectly.

Valkyrie pulled her phone from her pants and pressed the answer button, then the end button. She waited a minute, and then her phone rang again. She sighed and repeated the same process. She glared at her phone until she was satisfied it wouldn't ring anymore. But again, it rang. Valkyrie huffed and pressed the answer button and brought it up to her ear.

"What in the world could you possibly want?" she asked, with icicles hanging off her words. She listened for a minute before rolling her eyes. "Well why didn't he call me on his phone? …Why not use Kenspeckle's? …I know he doesn't have a fucking cell phone! I meant his weird medical phone. …Why am I even talking to you? Put Fletcher on, fucking idiot. …Don't tell me to watch my language. Fuck you!" she exclaimed and ended the call. She threw the phone on the ground in a huff and folded her arms.

"Valkyrie, can I see it?" I asked, holding out my hand for her phone. She placed it into my outstretched palm. I dialed Skulduggery's number and waited for the bastard to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Fuck you."

"Tanith, look. I-"

"No one gives a shit. Stop bothering Valkyrie or I swear to God I will rip you apart, bone by bone."

"I wasn't call-"

"To repeat myself, no one gives a shit. Shut the hell up and do not ever let us see your bony face again, you hear?" I shut off the phone and handed it back to Valkyrie. She smiled widely and put it back into her pocket. I turned back and looked out the dashboard. The sun had disappeared behind some rather thick, dark clouds. They seemed to be threatening to rain.

Ghastly turned the corner and we reached Valkyrie's house. We climbed out of the huge van and Valkyrie went straight to the kitchen. She opened some cabinets and slammed them shut. She placed a spray bottle and sponge on the counter next to her and opened another cabinet to get more bottles. She sprayed the counters and immediately started wiping down the counters. I stood there watching from the doorway.

"Oh God. What happened?" Echo-Gordon asked me after materializing out of nowhere. I shuffled closer to him.

"Skulduggery and Valkyrie had a huge fight. Doesn't look like we'll be seeing Skulduggery around anymore."

Gordon rolled his eyes and stepped up to Valkyrie.

"Heya Val…" he attempted. Valkyrie stopped her cleaning and stared straight at him.

"Hi Gordon. Something you wish to talk about?" she asked, very seriously.

"Nope. Not at all. Is there something you wish to talk about?"

"No. Noooo way. Ask Tanith about the details. Or better yet, ask Skulduggery!" Valkyrie yelled. She threw the sponge down on the counter and folded her arms. She took a deep breath and immediately started her cleaning again. Echo-Gordon sighed and disappeared.

"Valkyrie?"

"Yes?"

"Uh," I stammered. "Ghastly and I have to get back to Kenspeckle's to get Fletcher soon. You'll be okay here, right?"

She nodded, vigorously cleaning. I stepped out of the kitchen and joined Ghastly.

This might be a little difficult.

* * *

**TIME JUMP!**

**But Just One Week**

**Valkyrie's POV!!**

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Aim kick in furniture. Target hit.

"Oh sweet Jeebus!" I yelled, rubbing my foot from the pain.

"What?!" Fletcher asked, rushing in.

"Oh nothing. Just kicked the couch, resulting in painful foot. It's good," I sarcastically replied. Fletcher glared at me and walked up to me. He put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me.

"I'm still aloud to do that, right?" he asked, a little unsure. I smiled and nodded.

"Just because we aren't romantically together, doesn't mean we can't be all BFF and stuff."

He exhaled in relief. "And you aren't mad…right?"

"Depends on what it is."

"About me…?"

"Pfft. No. If I was, would you still be in this position?"

Fletcher nodded his head from side to side, thinking it over. "So I shouldn't be worried then?"

"No, Fletcher."

He smiled and disappeared. I shook my head and kept rubbing my foot over and over. I checked the clock.

6:29 PM

I quickly ran upstairs and grabbed some sneakers and shorts. I jumped out the window and started jogging wherever.

I timed myself. I had been running for over an hour. The sun was beginning to set, and as cliché as it was, the night seemed _too _quiet. I adjusted my shorts and slowed to a walk, to seem slightly casual. I walked on and on, trying to get rid of the feeling I was being watched. It was of course, not going away. I began running again, when I was suddenly kicked in the back. Hard. I jumped back up, only to be kicked down again. A hand gripped my hair and yanked me up. The vampire snarled and threw me back down.

I heaved and thrust a fireball at it. The vampire dodged easily, and came in for my throat. I froze, then lashed out my foot. I caught the vampire in the shin, but it barely fazed him. He hissed and yanked up my arm. He began to run his claws down my arm, when he was suddenly shot. 5 times in a row.

He fell back, then was hit with a fireball. The vampire went scampering off. I clutched my bleeding arm and looked around for whoever saved me. There was no one around. I squinted and looked up the street just in time to see a hand lash out and grab the fedora style hat on the ground.

"Dammit Skulduggery."

* * *

Sorry for the shit ending here. I couldn't think of what to do DX

Okay, Fletcher and Valkyrie have 'broken up'. But they're still all BFF's. Skulduggery has made no appearance as of yet. But ya'll just wait. He's acoming. And Valkyrie totally cleans when she's angry.

And the last thing, I'm going over to my grandparent's house for either 3 or 4 days. So, I ain't gonna be around at all. I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS!

Sorry for any mistakes!

:DDD


	11. Memories, Hugs, and Monologues

Why can I never have short chapters? This seriously pisses me off.

**

* * *

3****rd**** Person POV**

_"__Yippee!" Lion Log yelled, letting his oddly colored purple beard trail behind him in the wind. Valkyrie and Tanith were gaining up on him, just out of reach of his beard. _

_"Log you better stop running right now! No point!" Valkyrie called out, giving her an extra boost with her magic. Lion Log just cackled and sped up more. He came across a four-way intersection, and hopped in the old beat up van he drove. He floored the gas pedal and went speeding away._

_"__Dammit!" Tanith screamed, running past Valkyrie, pushing her legs farther. She came to the street and hopped onto her motorcycle. Valkyrie sprinted to join her, completely disregarding the helmet. They took off at full speed, racing to catch up to him. _

_Lion Log hadn't gotten far. It only took them a minute to catch up to the puke green colored van. He waved a fist in the air at the girls giving chase after him. He swerved his van around, smashing into a building. He ricocheted off and drove in the direction he came from. Tanith followed hot on his trail. They reached the back and Valkyrie climbed up onto the front of Tanith's motorcycle, careful not to fall. She ripped the rusted lock off the door and jumped to the top. Tanith sped up forward, getting away. Valkyrie swung the two doors open to reveal four figures; all tied up with rope and had gags in their mouth. She bypassed the first two figures, and grabbed her knife from her coat pocket. She sliced through the ropes wound around her parents, and then undid Skulduggery's and Ghastly's. They removed the gags and all jumped out of the van. _

_Valkyrie helped her parents run, trying to get away from the van speeding towards them. They all heard the tires screech to a halt, and Log close the back door to the van. He jumped into the front again, getting closer and closer to the group. He swung his hand around, sending metal rods flying straight towards Valkyrie's parents. They were struck in the back and fell down to the ground, Valkyrie unable to catch them in time. They both staggered back up, only to be hit full force by the ugly, puke green van.

* * *

_

"Sure you don't wanna talk about it?" Fletcher asked, putting away the antiseptic and bandages he used to clean up Valkyrie's claw marks. Valkyrie sighed again.

"I went out running, then a vampire attacked me, then…"

"Then?"

"Then a certain someone showed up and quite literally saved me," she sighed and hopped off the bathroom counter she was on.

Fletcher stared at her incredulously. "And you're perfectly fine with the fact that the one person you hate most in the world, saved you? Again?"

"Well, I can't do anything about it, now can I?" she rubbed the bandages, and left Fletcher still staring at her.

"Are you mad?" He asked, after he had caught up to her.

Valkyrie sighed. "Sorta. I'm just mad that he feels the need to follow me and to continue to protect me. But I'm also kinda happy that he was there, so here I am, _alive_."

"Next time I see him," Fletcher began, clenching his fist, "I'm gonna punch his skull right off."

"Too late! I already did that! Well, I slapped it off, but same thing."

Fletcher smiled and gently hugged her. "Don't freak me out like that again."

"Alright. Promise," she hugged him back, turning to head to her bedroom.

"You're going to bed already?"

"I'm tired Fletcher!" she called back behind her. "I ran for an hour then got attacked by a vampire!"

* * *

**Valkyrie's POV**

I crawled into bed, and instantly fell asleep after that. I vaguely remember a dream about a vampire, but don't we all have those? When I woke up at eight in the morning, I slowly eased myself out of sleep. I yawned quietly and sat up in bed. I stared at the ceiling, and then went down to the figure sitting in the chair in the corner of my room.

"Oh holy shit!" I screamed and pulled the covers up. "Ghastly! No offense, but what the hell are you doing here?"

He cleared his throat. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I was literally begged by a certain someone to watch over you."

"Why would Skulduggery make you come here and 'watch over' me?"

"He knows about the vampire attack thing. He's worried sick about your safety and it's driving us all crazy," Ghastly explained. "So, I was asked to kick any vampire's butt if it came near here. I'm pretty sure you can handle it, however."

"Hell yes I can. I don't want to hear that he wants to protect me. Next time, lie," I said, crawling out of bed. Ghastly sighed and got up from the old chair as well.

"May I just say something before you go?"

"Yes…"

"Alright," he took a deep breath. "Skulduggery has been moping around doing absolutely nothing and frankly, getting in everyone's way. He's been spending a lot of time at China's and she can barely stand it. I'm afraid of what she would do. Anyway, the point is, that even though you would rather throw yourself off a building than have to speak to him again, I think you really do miss each other. It's plain obvious that Skulduggery misses you. And I think that you miss him as well, even though you have to look hard to see it. I hate it when you guys fight. Skulduggery gets really quiet and you threaten to kill us all. And you probably could-"

"Damn right."

"-I just hope that you guys can realize that the stuff you said was not really what you were thinking. You were just mad and tired and confused. Skulduggery was just being a dick, I admit. He told me that he felt horrible and seriously wanted to die again. He poured his non-existent heart and soul out to me. I promised that I would not tell anyone, let alone you, what he said, but let's just say that he doesn't really like life without you. I hope you won't kill me for saying this. I just wanted to get it off of my chest, and now that I have, I got to go," he put his hands in his pants pockets and looked at me. My hair was covering my face and I was looking down.

"Valkyrie? You okay?"

I brushed away my hair and looked at him. "Yeah. Just, uhh…thanks for saying that."

He patted my shoulder rather awkwardly. "Sure. You don't have to do a thing. I just wanted to say that." He paused, unsure of what to say next. "Uhh…Skulduggery sort of wants to know if you and Fletcher, ya know, like…?"

"We broke up because we wanted to," I said firmly. Ghastly rubbed the back of his neck and made for the window. "You can use the doors you know."

"Too tired," he muttered, and flew out the window. I watched him as he landed softly, and waved a goodbye as he ran off.

I quickly got dressed and went downstairs for some type of food. Scapegrace squeaked out a 'good morning', afraid that I'd cut his head off or something. I grabbed some coffee and went up to Gordon's study. He appeared a few minutes after I got there.

"You alright?" he noticed the worried and pained expression on my face. I took a sip of coffee, trying to steady my shaky hand. I shook my head slowly. "What's wrong?"

"Uhh…um. Ghastly came and gave this whole long speech about how Skulduggery and me should hug and make up and stuff. And now, I don't know what do."

"Why's that?"

"Well, on one hand, I'm still kinda pissed about all the stuff he said. He just thought it was okay and brought up my parent's death-"

"That's the thing," Gordon pointed a finger at me. "He didn't think. He just spoke. And after he said that, he wanted to kill himself for hurting you…Continue."

"-Then he kept saying that his life was worse because his wife and child died right in front his eyes. But that happened to me too! Of course, not the wife and child thing, but I watched my parents died and saw their unbearable pain and stuff. I just can't…can't…"

"Stephanie."

I looked up into Gordon's stern and wispy face.

"I know how bad this hurts you and all the bullshit you went through and such. I was there as well. I was at the funeral. You saw me for a split second. I saw you the whole time, though you couldn't see me. I saw how everyone kept hugging you and comforting you and all that. And then at the end, when everyone had left, only you and Skulduggery were left. You started crying again and he was there and let you completely soak his shirt. So, my point is, that even though I still hate him, and you probably still hate him, you guys are partners. You're like the Oreos and milk. Or the altogether terrifying bullet and gun. Or the peanut butter and jelly. Or uhh…-"

"Gordon. You can stop now," I smiled at him, and took a sip of my coffee. "That was quite a sappy speech. Have you rehearsed it before?"

"Ahh no. It all just came to me in a rush."

I playfully slapped his ghost like arm. "Well, that was a good speech. And now that you have said that, I'm going to go down and eat."

"Good you paid attention!"

"I did. But now I'm tired of monologues and hungry," I shut the study door and went down stairs again. I chugged my coffee and made some type of breakfast.

"Good morning!" Fletcher yelled from behind me.

"Why are you up?" I asked skeptically.

Fletcher frowned. "Am I not allowed to wake up? Or should I just sleep the day away. That would be nice actually."

"That's not what I meant!" I punched his arm softly. "You're up early, aren't you?"

"I heard people talking, so I thought I should just get back up. Problem?"

I sighed and took a bite from my toast. "None at all."

Fletcher smirked and went to make his own really weird breakfast. I shoved the rest of my toast in my mouth and grabbed my protective coat.

"Don't burn the house down while I'm gone!" I yelled from the entryway.

"We'll try!" Fletcher snickered.

I headed over to China's library first. The old man opened the door for me, and motioned for me to come in. I nodded and went straight down the library, checking the shelves in search of Skulduggery. I weaved in and out of them for the best part of two hours, still no sign. As I was heading out, a beautiful voice called out to me. I spun around and slightly smiled at China Sorrows. I'm proud to say that her beautiful charms weren't as strong as they once had been on me.

"How nice to see you, Valkyrie. I haven't seen you around lately," she strode up to me with her perfect black heels. She had on a deep purple skirt and flowing lavender top.

"Well," I casually started, "been a little busy with the family feuds going on."

"I heard about it. Awful things happen to the best of them, don't they?" her pale eyes seemed to be trying to create a hole in my face. "Skulduggery, however, isn't here. I told him he had to leave."

"Why?"

"He wouldn't leave me alone." She smiled sweetly.

"Uhh…sorry I caused trouble for you…"

"No need to apologize, Valkyrie. I understand. Tanith told me everything, with her own commentary added to it. She said that Skulduggery was being a big fucking asshole."

I stared.

"What's wrong?"

"I've never heard you swear in my life, so that was rather refreshing. Thank you," I giggled and tried to suppress my laughter. "Did you send Skulduggery off anywhere? I am not spending my whole day looking for him, no matter how badly everyone wants us to make up."

"I told him he should go to a park or something, but just away from here. He then proceeded to whine about not knowing any parks, so I threatened to kill him. Then he continued about how he's already dead, then Ghastly came and dragged him away."

"So," I began, "you have no idea where he is?"

"Well," China paused to brush her perfect hair out of her perfect face, "he did say he was going to find a park. Not sure which one. I'd try the closet one, as that's usually where people go."

I nodded. "Thanks China. Appreciate this."

She titled her head slightly, letting her shiny hair fall into her eyes. She smiled widely and turned on her heal, gracefully walking away from me.

Daaamn.

I headed out of the library and went to the nearest park, which was five miles away. I ran them all, and got to the opening pretty quickly. I scanned the crowd, looking for any creepy looking guys in long trench coats. No luck.

I walked casually up to the playground, careful not to get plowed over by the toddlers who were screaming and running around. I passed a teenage couple, looking like they were trying to each other the way their mouths were going. I rolled my eyes and stepped out onto the large field. There was a group of kids tumbling around, another smaller group just sitting, then a big group of teenage boys throwing a football around. I scanned the field looking for Skulduggery, but still didn't see him. I strained my eyes to look at the few benches at the edge of the field, and bingo, there he was. I took a deep breath and began walking straight across the field…

* * *

"_Hm. Doubt they'll wake up, Bug-a-boo. I hit him hard," Lion Log stood on top of his van, hands on his hips. He played with his dirty, paint splattered overalls with his rough and dirt crusted hands. "Bug-a-boo, everyone dies. Don't get so worked up about it. Besides, it's not like you spent a lot of time with them." _

"_You bastard!" Tanith screamed, lunging at him with her sword. He jumped up high, kicking Tanith in the ribs, giggling like a little girl at the satisfying crack they made. Skulduggery and Ghastly shot fireballs at him, but he dodged them easily and whacked them over the head with two metal rods. _

"_Look Bug-a-boo. Nothing personal. They were just in-a my-a way!" he laughed hysterically, and drove off in his puke green van, now splattered with Valkyrie's parent's blood. _

_Valkyrie cradled their bloody and bruised heads, getting them wet with tears. Her dad stirred and raised a hand up to her face. He patted it gently, grunting in pain. _

"_Thanks for trying, girl," he mumbled, letting his hand slip down. Valkyrie sniffed and rested her dad on the concrete. She watched her mother's chest rise up slowly, and fall down again. It rose shakily again, and fell down flat. Melissa looked up at her exhausted daughter, and smiled. Her chest rose one last time, falling down one last time. _

_Valkyrie's lip quivered, trying to suppress the sobs building in her throat. She looked over at Tanith, who was clutching her chest carefully, nudging Ghastly awake. Fletcher, who had just arrived, plucked up Skulduggery, getting him awake. They all turned to look at Valkyrie, surrounded by her parent's blood. She bit her lip and brought her head up to look at them. Skulduggery darted across to her, to catch her as she fell down. He wiped away the tears that were falling down her cheeks like a waterfall. Skulduggery wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. She lolled her head back, then shot it back up. Valkyrie squirmed out of Skulduggery's grip and took off. _

_Running. Never looking back.

* * *

_

"Watch out!" a voice yelled. I looked around, until suddenly, something collided with my face. My head jerked to the side and rocked and bit. I shook my head and looked down. A football was lying by my feet. I picked it up and turned around. A man with sandy blond hair and brown eyes jogged up to me.

"Sorry about that. Thought you heard us," he rubbed the back of his neck.

I smiled. "It's my fault. Ya gotta be careful when football is involved." I twirled the football in the air. "Go long."

The guy cocked his head to the side, but ran backwards away from me. I took a breath and chucked the football as hard as I could. The guy caught it and charged straight towards me again.

"We could use a few more players, ya know." He twirled it up in the air, and I grabbed it from his reach.

"Thanks, but I gotta get going. Meeting a friend somewhere," I tossed the football back to him and turned on my heel. I heard the guy do a low wolf whistle, then run back to his other friends. I casually walked up the bench Skulduggery was on. He visibly tensed up.

* * *

**Skulduggery POV**

Why didn't I dig that damn hole in the first place? Why didn't I dig it so I could crawl in it and not have to do _this_. Sure, it was my fault, but still. I don't think Valkyrie has the right to come waltzing up here, _casually_ sit down next to me, and not say a word. They should make a law about that. Dammit Valkyrie!

"So," she brushed her hair out of her eyes, "how's life been treating you?"

Anyone have a shovel anywhere? I could just use my hands, but I wouldn't really want to get all dirty.

Valkyrie stood up. "Let's go for a walk. Come on." I reluctantly followed her. She walked down into the woods and stopped when she got to a large clearing. She spun around and began taking off my disguise and tossing the pieces to the ground. I dug my hands deeper into my pockets, refusing to look her in the eye.

"Cat got your imaginary tongue? Speak man!" She lifted my skull up with her hand, looking at me softly. "Look, I came here to talk. Peacefully. Sort out our differences like a therapist would make us do. If you want to be a coward and keep pissing off everyone from your emo crap, be my guest. But I came here to be nice. If you can't figure out how to talk, I'll just leave."

"I-I…I don't know what to say," I mumbled.

"That's a crappy excuse." I looked up at her. She had her arms crossed and was trying not to glare too hard at me. I nodded slowly.

"I know, I know. But I can't really describe how bad I feel for saying that. I know that you're still sensitive to it. You don't look it, but you're still racked up over it. Everyone can see it in your eyes. Now of course, I didn't know what had happened at first," I pointed at her wrists. She removed her coat and showed them to me, but I put them back down. "I had no idea. You never told me and I can see why now. I would have overreacted and completely freaked out. It just seems too twisted that Valkyrie Cain would try and kill herself." She winced. "I'm sorry. I know that that doesn't really make up for the God-awful stuff I said, but that's the only thing I can think of."

She slightly smiled. "Skul-"

"I swear to God my intention was never to break up you and Fletcher. Never in a million years. I guess I just was jealous. I don't know _why_, exactly. I guess…that since Fletcher's kind of a jerk, I didn't really think you two should be together at all. So I just figured I should be a 'big dick' as Tanith referred to me. I expect Fletcher's pissed?"

"He said he wanted to punch your skull off the next time he sees you." Valkyrie giggled a little.

"Glad you enjoy my pain." I looked up at the trees, watching the leaves fall down. "I'm sorry Val. Not a lot can be said to make up for all these things I've done to you, but I can certainly try. I hope that one day, even if it's seven hundred years later, you'll forgive me and-"

"Dude," Valkyrie put a hand up to stop me. "I can't handle much more sap than that. Just…stop talking." I smiled at her; glad she was able to joke still. I tensed up as she came closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I slowly followed. She rested her head on my shoulder as I stroked her hair softly.

"See," she said, pulling back, "You did know what to say."

"Well, that was just me sort of blabbering. Since I'm just so amazing, I thought of all that. Aren't I great?" Valkyrie thought for a second, and then shook her head. I whacked her gently on the head. She laughed quietly.

"Hey Skul?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry." She took her arms back, rubbing the scars on her wrists up and down.

"Hey." I stepped up closer. "Don't apologize to me. I said the worst stuff."

"But I still hurt you, right?"

"Well, yes, but I'm over that." Valkyrie looked at me skeptically. She finally smiled and hugged me again, this time with more force.

"Hey partner," I said, after I had put on the rest of my disguise, "how about we get out of here? I hear someone wants to punch off my skull!" Valkyrie laughed and linked her arm with mine.

"Sure partner. Let's go."

* * *

:D THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER GUISE. CELEBRATE.

Hee hee, Skulduggery's a dick Skulduggery's a dick Skulduggery's a dick! XD I love doing chapters where NOTHING interesting happens. They're so much easier to write. It's great. Next chapter should have some ass kicking in it.

Sorry I made Skulduggery such a big softie. He just kinda came out that way. But…it kinda suits him cause he's all emo cause he hurt Valkyrie and just yeah. So…I'm not _that_ sorry.

Uhh…I don't think there's anything else to talk about…I guess just sorry for any mistakes and leave me a review!

:DDD


	12. It Goes By So Fast

And thus, begins my journey to maybe shorten my chapters. Who knows. Doubt they'll get shorter. I'll betcha they'll get longer. That's annoying.

* * *

**Valkyrie's POV  
**

"Here ya go," I said. Fletcher grabbed the ice pack from my hand and placed it on his knuckles. "Try kicking off his skull next time, it's more effective."

"Do not encourage him!" Skulduggery yelled at me. I grinned and handed him an ice pack for his face. He placed it on his jaw, careful not to dislodge it anymore.

"I wonder what would you guys do without me?" I laughed and sat on the counter in the kitchen. Fletcher glared at Skulduggery. Skulduggery glared back. "Guys. This isn't going to work if you continue to behave like four year olds!" They both turned to glare at me now. "Don't take it out on poor me!" They both mumbled something, and turned back to each other. I shook my head and wandered out of the room, Fletcher following me. He grabbed my shoulder with his good hand, spinning me around.

"Are you _sure_ we can like him again? Because I'm still iffy."

I shrugged. "Be as iffy as you want. I'm good with him, and he's good with me." Fletcher rubbed the back of his neck, looking down. He mumbled something and stalked off upstairs, to the temporary room I gave him. I smiled weakly and headed back to the kitchen. Skulduggery was standing there, sheepishly, holding his jaw that had fallen off. He flailed his arms around and gestured to me, him, his jaw, and then pointed to the front of his house.

"I'm sorry," I teased, "didn't catch that. What do you need?" He waved the hand that had his jaw in it and stomped a foot. "Okay, okay. Got it. Kenspeckle's I assume?" He nodded. I nodded back and went upstairs to Fletcher's room. I knocked quietly. There was no answer. I knocked again. Still no answer.

"Fleeeetcher?" I mumbled, opening the door a fraction. I swung it open all the way and saw that the room was completely trashed. I gasped and searched the room. Skulduggery crept in after me, still holding his jaw. He flung his arms around the room, clearly angry, like it was Fletcher's fault.

"I don't know what happened, no," I muttered angrily. I continued searching for anything about what had happened to Fletcher, but I sort of already knew the answer. He had been taken. I don't know what goofball had taken him, but we were going to freakin' get him back if it killed me. I felt a tap on my shoulder and screamed. Skulduggery jumped back, dropping his jaw on me. I picked it up and looked at him. He made a running motion and pointed to the empty spot on his face. He placed his hand on his forehead, making it look like he was looking for something, or searching. He then pointed to his wrist and tapped it a few times.

"Now is not the time to play charades!" I teased. He would have rolled his eyes. "Okay. So you want to get your jaw fixed really fast, then go searching for Fletcher?" He nodded. "Alright. Get moving."

* * *

**3****rd**** Person POV**

They both arrived at Kenspeckle's fifteen minutes later. Valkyrie stormed in the building, carrying the broken off jaw, with Skulduggery right at her heels. Seamus greeted them and took Skulduggery away, with jaw in hand. Kenspeckle wandered into the room where Valkyrie was.

"What happened this time?" He threw his hands in the air, exasperated.

"Skulduggery's jaw fell off because Fletcher punched him. And now Fletcher is missing," Valkyrie stated. The professor rolled his eyes and walked into the room Seamus and Skulduggery had disappeared into. They all returned twenty minutes later, Skulduggery playing with his jaw.

"I missed talking," he mused.

"Oh come on," Valkyrie said, "you couldn't talk for like, an hour." She paused and looked herself up and down. "Come on, we're going."

"Where exactly are we going?" Skulduggery asked once they were both safely inside the Bentley.

"To go find Fletcher!"

"Well _of course_, but where do we start looking?"

"I don't know."

"Exactly."

They sat in silence, until the both heard a loud _THUMP!_ Skulduggery scrambled out of the car and of _course_, there was a vampire on top. He hissed wildly, and scampered off.

"Well, that was odd!" Skulduggery said. Valkyrie suddenly took off for the vampire. "Where are you going?"

"That vampire is bound to lead us to Fletcher!" she called back. She stopped running and waited for Skulduggery to catch up. "Come on!" she ushered him. "We're going to lose him!"

"How do you expect us to follow him? He could run all over the place!"

"Well you should have done cross-country in school or something!"

"I haven't gone to school in over 400 years!"

"That's your own fault." They both rounded the corner, and came to a full stop. There, sitting on the sidewalk, was Dusk. He grinned menacingly at them both and stood up. He nodded once, and suddenly, Valkyrie and Skulduggery were knocked unconscious.

* * *

Valkyrie woke up with a jolt. She tugged at her hands and legs, but they were in chains.

"This is quite inconvenient," she mumbled. She looked around the room for anyone else, but it was a very small room. The bricks were moldy. Water dripped in from the cracks in the ceiling, setting an annoying rhythm in the silence. There was small window located high on the wall with bars running vertically and horizontally to keep the prisoner in. "This sucks." Valkyrie stood up, falling over a few times, but finally got on her feet. She paced up and down the room. She clicked her fingers multiple times to get a flame going, but to no use.

Stooping down low, she heard a low creaking sound. The door in the center of the room seemed to groan loudly. It was the average door. Small window in the middle, rusty handle, big and foreboding. It creaked open, and someone stepped inside. Someone else flicked on a light somewhere, and the cell was flooded with light.

It was, of course, Sanguine.

"So," he began, "what do ya think of your li'l room?"

Valkyrie shrugged. "Honestly I think it's a bit too cliché."

"Understandable," he muttered. "Anyway, I'm supposed to _collect _ya and bring ya out." He grabbed the chains on her wrists and dragged her away from the cell.

"Where's out?"

"Out."

"That doesn't help at all."

"Why would I want to help you, pretty lady?" he asked, tugging her chains closer to him. He wriggled his eyebrows and she snarled in disgust. "Oh that hurt mah feelins'!"

"I'm so sorry. You know Sanguine?" Valkyrie mused out loud.

"Mmm. Yeah?"

"I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying," she said, keeping a straight face.

Sanguine huffed and shoved Valkyrie up against the wall. "I would'a killed you days and days ago, but these guys want me to keep you alive. As much as I hate to say it, ya'll probably beat both of these supposedly powerful guys in a second. But once they're dead and gone, there's nothing that will stop me from comin' to kill you. Understood, pretty lady?"

"Fuc-" Valkyrie was cut off when Sanguine shoved her harder against the wall and pressed himself onto her. "What the hell?!" She panicked and tried to wriggle her arms free.

"_Hey_!" came a hoarse voice. At the end of the hallway, Fletcher had knocked the vampire that was leading him away unconscious and was now speeding toward Sanguine. He threw his shackled wrists around Billy-Ray's neck and yanked. Hard.

"Touch her like that again and I swear I will kill you," he whispered. Valkyrie kicked his shin and then jumped up and kicked him as hard as she could in his ribs. He fell down, unconscious.

"Well," Fletcher said, attempting to dust himself off, "that went quite well, actually. I'm impressed." He turned to look at Valkyrie. "Hello there."

"Fletcher…" She rolled her eyes and gave him the best hug she could manage with the handcuffs. "Want to get out of these cuffs here?" He nodded and bent to Sanguine's body on the floor. He fumbled around in the pockets and produced a set of keys. He undid his around his wrists and ankles, then Valkyrie's cuffs. They threw them across the room and went bolting for the door at the end of the narrow hallway they were in.

They burst through the door and ran up some steps, and came to another door. They threw it open and were almost blinded. The sun shone brightly around the forested part they were in. They heard a muffled laugh as they adjusted to the light, but most were silent.

Valkyrie looked around at the surroundings. _Some goons, vamps, generic thugs, _she thought. Her eyes scanned quickly through the crowd, then came to a stop at the large gap in people. Two men were standing at the edge of lake (it looked familiar to Valkyrie, but she couldn't place where she had seen it) and they seemed to be arguing. Another man was sitting down on the ground next to them, twiddling his thumbs. He stood up quickly, dusted off his pants, and turned to face the opposite way.

"Hey there!" Skulduggery waved and smiled. He casually walked up to the two. "You escaped fast."

"Well what did you expect?" Fletcher said. He smirked and cracked his knuckles. "So, do we get to beat some people up?" He looked at Skulduggery, who in turn, punched him in the face.

Valkyrie gasped and blasted the air at the skeleton. He fell back, but quickly composed himself to dodge a fireball sent by Valkyrie. He lashed out to kick her, but Valkyrie grabbed his leg and flipped him over. He got up lightning fast and kicked her in the stomach. Valkyrie fell down, clutching her broken and bruised ribs. Skulduggery bent down next to Valkyrie, smirked, then stood up again. He took a deep breath, and stood there, silent.

"Jones, you don't have to make a big show about it. I figured it out," Valkyrie mumbled. Skulduggery (now Jones Hall) laughed and extended a hand to help her up. Instead, Valkyrie spit at his feet. He, in turn, stomped on her foot.

"Li'l brat," he mumbled. He turned around and walked straight through the door underground. He returned a few seconds later, Sanguine walking behind him.

"Howdy, ya li'l wench! Good job knocking me out!" He said it like he was commemorating her.

"Shove it, Sanguine," she spat back.

He held his hands up. "Gladly," he said, then kicked her in her already bruised ribs. She yelled out in the pain, but was quieted by a hand over her mouth. She looked up and saw that it was one of the men who was standing by the lake. He had on a gasmask, like regular air was toxic to him. He slapped her upside the head, then stepped back to the edge of the lake. The other man next to him spread his arms out wide. He knelt down and watched as the lake surface began to bubble and froth up and out popped the raggedy, old Sea Hag. She grinned a crooked tooth grin and looked around at the large assemblies of baddies.

"Interesting," she said, her voice still sounding like someone was drowning. "I did not expect such a large group."

"Yes!" came the gasmask man's voice. "We're powerful."

"I see." The Sea Hag looked around some more, then floated back down into the water, disappearing into the bubbles and froth again.

"Well," came the ever familiar voice of Skulduggery Pleasant, "didn't expect to see her in a while!" He was being led by a very large, very ugly thug, who grunted with every step he took. "Hello Valkyrie," the skeleton greeted. "Hello Fletcher!" Fletcher nodded in response, cupping his hand over his left eye. He touched the sensitive skin, and then was suddenly picked up by an even bigger thug than Skulduggery's. The thug roared and threw Fletcher on the ground next to Valkyrie. Skulduggery's thug grunted up to them, then lifted the light-weight skeleton in the air, and threw him back on the ground, on Valkyrie's other side.

"People need to stop throwing me around," he mumbled. "Well, do we get to fight now?"

"Yes!" Gasmask Man boomed. He strode up to the three, examined them carefully then waved a lazy rubber gloved hand. Suddenly, every single thug, goon, and vampire leaped out, screaming a war cry. But only about twenty escaped the large crowd and ran up to the lonesome three.

"This is going to be _great_," Skulduggery said enthusiastically. He stretched his legs and then ran head-first into the battle. Valkyrie and Fletcher shrugged to each other, but then charged straight after the skeleton.

They kicked, punched, poked, slapped, kneed in every place possible (including right below the belt) but many of them just wouldn't fall. Valkyrie was going head to head with a very scrawny, but powerful vampire. He lashed out and went straight for her throat. She faltered and accidentally fell into his arms.

He cleared her long hair out of the way and sunk his fangs into her neck.

* * *

Ooookay. I have finished this. And I'm actually pretty damn happy. I understand that this is a bit rushed. I just started writing and couldn't really stop and everything just sort of flowed out. So that's sorta why this sucks. And plus I haven't written for this in a while. Like a loooong while. So sorry about that!

And have you ever been writing…and taken something in a COMPLETELY different direction than you originally planned? That's exactly what just happened here. So…we'll see how the whole 'Valkyrie-is-a-vampire" thing works out for everyone.

So, I'm again, really sorry this took so long. I feel really bad and just…yeah. I'm _really _sorry you guys. I WILL FINISH THIS STORY EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!

Okay, so I'm sorry for any mistakes and sorry for the quality of this chapter. Really, I truly am sorry.

:DD


	13. Meet the New Infected: Valkyrie Cain

ALRIGHT. To get a few things cleared up here:

**Go For Wand: **Dude. I get it. You like Valkyrie/Fletcher. You don't need to give me proof. I have this story all planned out until just up to the ending, so I know who needs to get back together and who doesn't. Relax and have _faith_, child!

AND! A special shout out to **spannerintheworks** for being the 50th reviewer! You guys all rock! Thanks for sticking by me and cheering me on whenever I update. I really do love you. So thank you everyone for reviewing! :DD

ANYWAYS.

Um.

Here ya go!

* * *

_There is nothing quite like getting bitten by a vampire. For one, it hurts like hell. Secondly, it's disgusting and horribly messy. Third, you fall unconscious the second fangs bite into you.

* * *

_

**3****rd**** Person POV**

The scrawny vampire carried Valkyrie's limp body straight through the battle, everyone stepping out of the way to make way. Scrawny descended the stairs to the underground base and disappeared into a clean white room. He laid her on a metal table then quickly lapped up all the blood that oozed out of her neck and everywhere else. He quickly rubbed the two little holes on her neck, creating great friction. Scrawny looked up as the door swung open, and in walked Dusk. He was carrying a syringe filled with a gooey blue liquid. He stepped up to Valkyrie's left side and jammed the syringe into her neck. He squeezed the liquid out quickly then stepped back. Scrawny strapped her down on the table, so she wouldn't destroy the room. Dusk saluted and ducked out of the room and to the battle outside.

Scrawny drew up a seat next to the table and flopped down in it.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He watched her skin turn a sickly pale and practically freeze.

He watched carefully as her hand twitched, then curled into a fist.

She gasped and her eyes flew open. She moaned and groaned and sat up as best as she could.

"What the _hell_ just happened?" she groaned. "I don't feel right."

"Maybe because you're a vampire now, sweets," Scrawny said.

"Okay, and you're incredibly creepy. What's your name?"

"Call me Julien." True, he did have a slight French accent.

"Hey, I thought French guys were supposed to be cute?"

"Ouch," he grumbled. "Ready to go out there and fight?"

"Fight who?"

"Oh these really nasty guys. They call themselves the good guys, but I highly doubt they're doing anything useful," he explained. Valkyrie nodded. "Oh, and Valkyrie?" She turned around. "Just to let you know, they killed your parents."

"M-My parents?" she asked, astounded.

"Yeah. You're parents died a few years ago. It was hard on you. But we helped you through it."

"Oh." She paused thoughtfully, then rage and hate filled her eyes. "Can I kill them?"

"By all means, _please_," he muttered. She cackled slightly evilly, then went bolting out of the room. She flung the door open, ripping it off its hinges. Valkyrie casually sauntered up the stairs and stood there, waiting, hands on her hips.

* * *

**Valkyrie's POV**

Where were those bastards? I want to wring their necks. Then eat them. Not literally eat them, but suck out all that blood. I grinned slightly, then whipped around as a man with sandy blond hair and giant sunglasses waltzed up to me. He tipped the hat he was wearing and smiled.

"Hello, Valkyrie. You're lookin' ravishin' tonight. Is that new skin?" the man asked with a lazy drawl. He had a Texan accent. I stared at him for a minute. "Oh!" he said excitedly. "Forget you don't remember my name. Billy-Ray Sanguine." He stuck out his hand and I shook it slightly.

"Nice to meet you…" I trailed off and scanned the place. "Where are the people I'm supposed to kill?"

"Oh," he said softly, "they're off in that little underground place you came from. Want to go meet them?" I nodded my head vigorously. He smiled widely then led me back down the stairs. We winded down multiple hallways and passed what seemed like hundreds of doors, until Sanguine stopped. He gestured to a giant red door. I nodded and pushed it open slightly. I blinked and let my eyes adjust to the light, then they focused on two people chained to the wall. They were both sitting cross-legged, tugging at each other's chains. One man had ridiculous blond hair and was pretty bloodied up. His light blue shirt was stained with blood and had been cut in different places. He stared up at me like I had three heads. My gaze switched over to the man next to him.

Well, I couldn't exactly tell if he was a man, since he was a bloody skeleton. He had a wide brimmed hat that matched his gray suit. It had also been stained with blood. The skeleton stopped playing with his chains and stared at me like the other man was.

"So," I said after a few moments of awkward silence, "I've been told that you killed my parents."

"Well they're lying!" the skeleton yelled. He stood up and went as far as his chains would let him. "Valkyrie, don't you remember? Fletcher!" He pointed at the man with the weird hair. "And me! Skulduggery!"

I shook my head. "You're out of luck. Question: Are you a man? I can't really tell."

"Of course I'm a _man_, Valkyrie," he mumbled, clearly embarrassed. "What kind of woman wears a suit of impeccable taste like this?" I bared my fangs and advanced quickly. He didn't step back. Instead, he stood up straighter.

"Shut up," I growled. "I could crush you right now, right here if I wanted to."

"Oh," came Sanguine's voice, "please don't. We all want to see it."

I growled in response. "Fine." I turned to the other man. "_Fletcher_?"

"You know who I am?" he asked astounded.

"No," I smirked, "just what the hell kind of name is that?" Both men groaned and flopped back down on the floor. I sat down across from them.

"So!" I said brightly. "How's life for you?"

"Fan-_freakin­_-tastic," Fletcher muttered. "What happened to you, Val?" I pointed to my neck with the two small puncture holes where I had been bitten.

"I remember being bitten by a vampire. And that's it," I said. "But it was during a battle of some sort. I know that."

"Yeah!" Sanguine exclaimed. He stepped into the room and sat down next to me. "You were fighting them, Valkyrie. They've been your enemies since you were thirteen."

"Correction," Skulduggery interjected, "she was twelve when she came with me."

"When I 'came with you'?"

"Valkyrie," the skeleton said and tried scooting up closer to me, "we've been partners for years. We fought and argued all the time. You hated me for a while-"

"I hate you now," I cut in.

"Right, right," he continued. "But we made up with this big sappy speech I made. It was quite uncomfortable actually. Remember the Bentley? The giant black car? The Bentley."

"Nope. No idea."

"Do you remember Tanith?"

"Nope."

"Ghastly?"

"Nooooope."

"Kenspeckle?"

"For the last time, no!" I fumed and jumped and tackled the skeleton. I stood him up and twisted his arm behind his back. "Do not ask me another question, ever again. Got it?" He nodded. "Thank the Lord," I mumbled and threw him down on the floor. I looked down at Fletcher and snarled. "Can I help you?"

"Nope. Can _I _just ask you one question?" he asked meekly.

I nodded slightly. "You're kind of cute, so I'll let you have it. What?"

"Do you remember this day?" he asked solemnly and whipped out a picture from his back pocket. I studied it carefully. There were five people all sitting outside. The skeleton, Fletcher, a blond woman, and a man with scars all across his face were all standing around each other smiling big and wide. The remaining people were standing in the front of them, smiling just as wide. They had basically the same coloring - brown hair and eyes.

"No…" I mumbled quietly. "But what happened here?"

"You're the one taking the picture. It was the day you told your parents about this whole magical world. They freaked out at first, but eventually came around. Your parents were really nice," he said softly.

"Yeah, but you **killed them**!" I shouted. I lunged forward at Fletcher, who tried flinging himself out of the way. I grabbed his waist and traveled up his side up to his neck. I began to sink my new fangs down into his soft skin, but a foot colliding with my ribcage stopped me. I threw Fletcher on the ground, then turned and growled at the skeleton. He was standing casually up against the wall, his hands still in cuffs.

"What happened here?" Julien roared, charging into the room. He saw Fletcher on the ground, rubbing his neck, me glaring at the skeleton, and he was up against the wall. "Fantastic, then. Valkyrie, come with me." He beckoned me forward, but not before I could nail the skeleton in the shin.

"Don't attack them yet," Julien commanded once we were out of the cell. "In time, we'll bring those two up and then you can fight them."

"Will it be like a fight to the death?" I asked.

Julien nodded. "Actually, precisely."

He waved a hand over his head, and then everything went black.

* * *

There's something about this chapter I just don't like. Maybe it's the weird plot holes that Vampire!Valkyrie is getting. I'm not sure. Basically, she has lost all memory. She can remember a few things, but not much. She knows who she is, though. And also this is still sort of rushed, so I apologize for that. I wrote the majority in a few days, took a break, then finished it just now.

So I'm sorry for any mistakes and thank you so very much for reading! :D


	14. She Has Been Sent to Death Unknowingly

Oh my gosh. Thank you all _so _much for the reviews! I'm so glad you liked it! You all are so nice and just so friggin awesome! I love you!!

Ok, just wanted to say that! STORY TIME!

* * *

**Valkyrie's POV**

I bolted upright, completely unaware of my surroundings. There was a sharp pain in the back of my head whenever I made any movements. I could hear muffled voices, footsteps, and water lapping up on a shore. My eyes were blurry, and I could barely make out my own hand. They adjusted just in time for someone to grab my arm and stand me up. It was Julien.

"What the hell was knocking me out for!?" I shrieked. He merely put a finger to his lips, signaling me to be quiet. I did as I was told. The underground door at the end of the clearing swung open, revealing three figures: Sanguine, the skeleton, and Fletcher. The skeleton had no face, but I could tell he was fuming. Fletcher looked depressed. Sanguine grabbed Fletcher by his collar, and whispered something into his ear. He nodded solemnly. He grabbed the skeleton and whispered something where his ear _should _be.

"No!" the skeleton shouted. He tried punching Sanguine, but Julien jumped out and stopped him. The three huddled up together, whispering and gesturing with their hands.

"Why would I do that?" the skeleton asked, dumbfounded. "Why does that signal defeat. She doesn't die and that was your original plan." Sanguine swooped in, whispering something more. The skeleton nodded, then stepped up to whisper in Fletcher's ear. He nodded, then frowned. His ridiculous hair shook slightly, while his eyes were trained on me.

"It's not nice to stare!" I shouted across the small clearing. He sighed and glared at me again. "Seriously. It's creeping me out Fletcher! You're staring at me like you were staring at Tanith when you first met her!" My eyes went wide and my hands shot up to my mouth, clamping it shut.

I have no idea what's happening, I thought. This is not good. Who's Tanith? And when did she meet Fletcher? And why did he stare at her?

I looked up and Fletcher was smiling widely, with the skeleton seeming to radiate happiness. Fletcher instantly frowned as I bolted up to him, putting him in an arm lock. He grunted and struggled against my grip, until someone grabbed my other arm and whipped me away. I stumbled, but regained myself just in time to be knocked down. I landed flat on my stomach with the air completely knocked out of me. I listened carefully to see where the attacked was positioned, then swung my leg out. It connected with something hard and thin. I jumped up and stood over the skeleton on the ground before me.

* * *

**Skulduggery's POV**

Valkyrie was very threatening. Especially when she was looming over me with an evil scowl on her face. I had to act fast here. I swung my right leg up, entwining it with her left leg and put my left leg on her right. I applied as much pressure as I could and Valkyrie went flipping sideways, landing hard on her right side. She swore and got up slowly. I stood by, anticipating her next move. Instead of lashing out and trying to kill me like any normal person would do, she walked straight past me. I frowned slightly, but followed her. She stood in the middle of the clearing, where that scrawny vampire came up and whispered in her ear. I'm guessing he told her the same thing he told me.

"I don't want to push him the lake!" she shouted. "I want to kill him!"

"Well you can't kill him since he's already dead!" the vampire argued. "The first to fall into the water loses. Simple as that." Valkyrie was clearly annoyed – by the glint in her eyes and the exasperate huff she gave, it looked like she would kill me.

She grinned evilly at me as she cracked almost every single bone in her body. Her fingers, neck, knees, _feet_ for goodness sake! I stood there watching her, until she came charging towards me. I ducked out of the way, and she went barreling towards Fletcher (who she kicked for good measure). I started moving way from her. We were dancing, it seemed. I took a step; she took a step. I jumped; she jumped.

Valkyrie had finally had enough of this dance, and lunged for me. I ducked to one side, but she anticipated this, and turned her course, so we both tumbled to the ground. I raised up my arm to block her from falling on top of me, but she grabbed my limb and pulled it with great strength. I was yanked back onto my feet quickly, then punched in the jaw. I looked at Valkyrie, whose eyes were wide with rage, and body tense. She smirked and made to grab my tie, but I swatted her hand away, and jammed my elbow into her shoulder. She grimaced, but regained herself fast.

She took a few steps back, then took a running leap. Valkyrie landed with her back to me, and I took the opportunity to jam my other elbow in between her shoulder blades. She cried out in pain and collapsed to the ground. I tilted my head in confusion. She wouldn't give up this easily.

Seems I was right.

Her arm shot out, boosting her up so she could kick me as hard as possible. Her foot slammed into my shin with great pressure, making me fall down.

"You can't get rid of me, skeleton," Valkyrie said menacingly. "I'll win this, and after we drag you out of the lake, I'll kill you, Fletcher, Tanith, Ghastly, every-" She stopped short. Her eyes glossed over for a second, and I thought she was back with us. But, alas, no.

She grinned again, and flexed her hand. I had to act quickly if I didn't want to be thrown into the lake. I waved my hand fast, the air rippling and slamming into Valkyrie. She collapsed on the ground, clutching her stomach. I guess I broke her ribs. She raised her hand up, sending me with a gush of air. I dodged it as best as I could, but I still went hurtling closer to the lake.

Valkyrie bolted up to me, sending another gush of air, but I blocked it with my own air shield. She snarled and stood up straighter. She stalked up to me, glaring with hatred and fire in her eyes. I stood to my full height, a few inches higher than Valkyrie's height. She huffed and swung her arm out to punch me.

I had to act unbelievably fast. My skeletal hand grabbed her forearm, whipping her around. She struggled, but I sent the air blasting at her. She stopped wriggling as she went hurtling towards the lake.

I watched as her bruised body collided with the water, leaving a loud splash behind. Valkyrie's a great swimmer, so I just expected her to pop back up, anger flared up to the maximum.

But she did the complete opposite. She did bob up eventually, but she flailed around, trying to get out of the water. Was she suddenly allergic to water?

But that's when it hit me.

There was salt water in there. And Valkyrie was a vampire.

I just sent Valkyrie Cain to her death.

* * *

MWAHAHAHA CLIFF HANGER!

Ahem. Sorry. This is slightly shorter than normal, but I wanted to end it here really badly XD So, I'm slightly more impressed with this chapter. It's not rushed, but nothing really happened in it. That's sad. But they did fight, and who can go wrong with fights?

Tell me, was the fighting good or bad? I'm terrible at writing action/fight scenes!

So I absolutely promise the next chapter will be better, longer, and sooner! School is going to start in a week (OH MAH GOD!) so I'll try and upload what stuff I have done for everything. I have plans for the next chapter and a few after that. This will probably end in a few chapters cause frankly, it _needs _ end at some point.

Alright, I'm sorry for any mistakes and thanks so much for reading! :DDDD


	15. She Lives!

**Sorry this kinda jumps around a lot. I'm in sort of a funk and I can't seem to write anything very good lately. I blame Mariella Bleud. Because I can. And because she's a jerk. And it is her fault. …The bitch…**

**3****rd**** Person POV

* * *

**

"Hey!" Tanith called out to Ghastly. "I found one of her boots!" She and Ghastly had been secretly called by Skulduggery (he realized his phone was in his pocket) to go in search of Valkyrie. The Sea Hag had eventually risen out of the lake water, holding Valkyrie's limp, convulsing body in her bony hand. She literally threw her into a nearby river. Tanith and Ghastly had been searching for hours, with no luck, up until now.

"Really?" he called back. "Maybe we're getting closer."

"Hopefully." Tanith ran to Ghastly to show him the boot. She paused shortly. "Do you think we'll find her?"

"Well," he said grimly, "we're either find her body or her. We'll search for her body for years."

Tanith nodded and tied the boot around her sword hilt. Both headed out west; the way the river was flowing. They walked on in silence until Ghastly stopped, put out his palm and frowned.

"What is it?"

"I feel something or someone. But just _barely_."

"Maybe it's Val!" Tanith shouted happily. She clicked on a flashlight and ran into the dark forest. Ghastly followed slowly, checking the air every few minutes. There was suddenly a scream. It was Tanith. Ghastly broke out into a run, but stopped short at a large bush. Someone was there. That someone was having a lot of trouble breathing. Ghastly pushed the buses apart and stepped through several puddles of blood. There, a few yards in front of him was a dead buck and a trembling, convulsing, sobbing Valkyrie.

She stared up at Ghastly with large eyes, then suddenly lunged towards him. She aimed for his torso, but due to her weak state, went crashing into his leg. She tried biting into his leg, but she was too weak. Ghastly reached down and pulled her up, carrying her like a child. She growled and snapped her jaw at him, but eventually gave up and rested against his muscular body.

He set out in search for Tanith and eventually came to two more dead bucks. Tanith was crouched by each one, checking them over.

"Tanith."

She looked up and gasped. "How is she?" she asked desperately.

"Alive. But probably not for much longer." They nodded in silent agreements, then went sprinting out of the forest.

* * *

"Think they found her?" Fletcher asked softly from the corner of the cell he was in. It was late at night, and there was no light. Sanguine was smart and put on handcuffs that robbed them of their magical abilities.

"I hope so," Skulduggery replied sadly. He could just make out Fletcher's features from the light of the moon, and he could see the pained expression on his face. He let his eye-less eye sockets drift around the room, to rest on the heavy red door. There was a faint light down the hall that was flickering.

_Probably just some vampire_, he thought.

"Skulduggery?" Fletcher's voice rang loud and clear in the cell. "Do you think the Professor can save her?"

The skeleton scoffed slightly. "He can fix just about anything. Nothing will stop him from setting Valkyrie right again."

"You _really_ think?"

There was a pause. "I really think he'll try his best. But not even Kenspeckle can reverse death."

* * *

_Ba-Thump_

**Wheeze**

_Ba-Thump_

**Wheeze**

_Ba-Thump_

"How's she doing?" Seamus timidly asked the cranky professor.

"She's alive."

"No improvements?"

"Not especially. Her breathing has gotten slightly more normal," Kenspeckle whispered. He tightened his grip around the needle he might need at any moment. It would help open the airway in Valkyrie - so she could breath. Seamus wandered to the other side of the bed and checked on the glass container.

"It's halfway full," he reported, to no one in particular. The glass container was about three gallons. It held all the ingested salt water Valkyrie had either throw up, or what Kenspeckle had pumped out of her. Her throat looked a little rough, like someone had rubbed sand paper on it and taped the paper on her throat. Her body was bruised and cut multiple times. She had three broken ribs on one side of her left side, and two on the right. No one knew how those got there.

The professor stood alert as Valkyrie stirred slightly. Her hand came to rest on her thigh lightly, slightly squeezing it.

"What's she doing?" Seamus asked frantically.

"I don't know." Kenspeckle readied the needle. "It looks like she's in pain, but it's hard to tell. She's been doing things like subconsciously. She brushed her hair from her face. Itched her arm. I don't know what her problem is." He huffed and stepped up closer. He looked at her creased forehead and watched her eyes twitch. They opened slowly, then shut at the bright lights. Her hand came to rest up on her throat. She raked across it with her nails, leaving small red marks. She tapped her throat twice, then waved her arm around slightly.

"What does that mean?" Seamus wondered aloud. "Is she thirsty? Does she need water? Or is she hungry? I'll go get her a glass of water."

"No," Kenspeckle said hastily, "get her some blood."

"Blood?"

"Isn't she a vampire?" The professor's assistant nodded, then left in a tizzy. He returned a few minutes later, carrying a jug of the crimson liquid. He cringed back when Valkyrie threw her arm out. She could smell it. Kenspeckle tried to get her to sit back down silently, but she pushed against him, with her eyes still closed. Seamus handed her the jug slowly. The vampire brought it to her lips, then took a small sip. Her head lolled back slightly, but came back to rest at the opening. She brought the jug up farther and chugged half the container. Blood spilled from her mouth and landed on the perfectly white bed sheets. She moaned slightly and opened her eyes.

"Who the hell are you two?" were her first words. She looked with her dark brown eyes laced with traces of red between the two males. "Are you Kenspeckle?"

The professor nodded. "I am."

"How did I remember that?"

"We're not sure how you forgot it."

"Oh," she shrugged and downed the rest of the blood. She looked like a vampire from the movies with the blood pouring down her chin and neck, over the two little holes the vampire fangs made. Her eyes fluttered closed, then snapped back open. She took a breath, then fell back down on the pillows. The jug fell out of her hand and clattered to the floor.

"Thank goodness," Kenspeckle muttered. He put the needle down, as Valkyrie's breathing had more or less returned to normal. He nodded to Seamus, who left the room again. He returned shortly and was carrying a huge needle and a medicine bag. Kenspeckle removed the machine that was pumping out the water from Valkyrie's body, then jammed the needle into her forearm. She groaned slightly, but remained asleep. Seamus hooked up the bag to the small IV stand by her side, then stepped out of the way. The professor injected some hot pink liquid into Valkyrie's bloodstream.

And so they sat and waited for the amounts of vampire blood and venom to cycle out of her body and into the IV bag.

Kenspeckle left Seamus to watch over Valkyrie and went outside the lab to Tanith and Ghastly. The blonde was asleep on Ghastly large shoulder but awoke as soon as Kenspeckle came out.

"How is she?!" they both asked immediately.

"Seamus keeps bustling around!" Tanith barked.

"He was carrying a jar of blood!" Ghastly said, slightly quieter.

"Relax," Kenspeckle said soothingly. "Valkyrie is alive and doing pretty normal. Most of the water has been either thrown up or forcefully filtered out of her system. She was a little weak, so Seamus gave her some blood to get her going. She's asleep right now and we're filtering out the vampire chemicals from her body. She should be fine, with minimal side effects."

"What types of side effects?"

"Just that she may need blood every once in a while…"

"How is that _minimal_?!" Ghastly barked. "How are we going to get blood?!"

"I don't know exactly what will happen! It's just a guess. She could turn into some horrible monster. We don't know what's going to happen!" he yelled. Ghastly huffed, but sat back down in the uncomfortable chairs. Tanith shook her head and dug out her phone. She dialed Skulduggery's number.

"Hello? Tanith?" came his voice in a soft whisper.

"So they haven't taken your phone yet?"

"No. They're a big bunch of thick headed people if you ask me." He sighed. "Did you find her?"

"Yeah," Tanith said, "and Kenspeckle has her now. She's stable and should be totally fine."

"What about her memory?"

"She lost her memory?"

"Yeah. Whatever. Just tell me if you get anything new." He quickly hung up. Tanith didn't mind. She'd rather be hung up on than be caught red-headed by Sanguine or some vampire.

"Professor!" came Seamus from the lab. He sounded frantic. There was a retch and a splattering sound. Kenspeckle rushed into the room, and the both came out carrying Valkyrie around their shoulders. She had blood on her clothes and legs. She coughed and retched again, bending down to heave up the fresh blood she had just drank. She moaned and groaned slightly. She was led down the hall, but not before up-chucking the bright crimson liquid again. Tanith covered her mouth. Ghastly came up behind her and put a protective around her. He went to the opposite end of the hallway the three had disappeared to and came back with two mops and a bucket. He handed a mop to Tanith. They began to clean up the left over contents of Valkyrie's stomach.

* * *

"Hi skeleton!" came Sanguine's bright and early greeting. "Sleep well?"

"Just dandy," Skulduggery replied. "Though these handcuffs are rather uncomfortable. Any chance I could get some silk ones?"

"Sure!" Sanguine said happily with a hint of sarcasm. "I'll get right on that." He paused and looked at Fletcher. "Are you said this sorry excuse for a man killed your girlfriend?" he asked with mock sadness in his voice.

"Oh shut up you," he muttered softly.

"Hey now!" The Texan pulled out his lovely straight razor. "Now we wouldn't want to scratch up that pretty face you have, would we?" Fletcher sniffed and turned to face the wall. "You guys are no fun!" Sanguine declared. He slammed the large red door shut, making sure to be dramatic about locking it.

"Valkyrie's not dead," Skulduggery said eventually. "I didn't mean to hurt her."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it." Fletcher smiled sadly at the skeleton beside him. "Tanith said she wasn't dead, right?"

"Yeah. Let's hope she stays that way.

* * *

Valkyrie groaned as she felt the warm liquid rise in her throat. She reached her head up to the toilet bowl and threw up for the eighteenth time. She could vaguely hear Kenspeckle and Seamus arguing, but she needed to concentrate on not throwing up.

"She looks terrible!" came one voice.

"…We'll fix her."

"But right now…dead!"

"…Skeleton…_Skulduggery_!"

"Skulduggery!" she yelled out in a meek voice. "Skulduggery…Skulduggery…" she repeated again and again.

"You remember him?"

"Big meanie," she muttered softly. "Killed parents."

"Damn." She felt arms wrap around her arms and hoist her up. "Come on…" she heard a distant voice and sharp pain in her shoulder, then nothing.

Valkyrie woke up three hours later, fully alert. The sun was setting in the distance. The lab she was in was totally empty. She swung her legs over herself and hopped out of the bed. She threw on her black clothing, then pushed open the doors timidly. Four pairs of eyes met her own.

She smiled wide. "Well, I'm awake, I know who you are all, I know that Skulduggery and Fletcher didn't kill me parents, and I am so ready to kick Sanguine's sorry ass."

* * *

HOT DAMN I FINISHED THIS. THANK THE LORD.

I'm slightly more satisfied with this chapter, but it could be better, I admit. You all are so silly. I could never kill Valkyrie! I wuvs her.

So I really hope you likey and thanks for reading!

Sorry for any mistakes!

:DDD


	16. The Anticlimactic Final Battle

I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ANY MORE. SHOOT ME NOW. NOBODY MAKES ANY SENSE TO ME AT ALL ANYMORE. NOT EVEN SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS. IT'S SO CONFUSING.

Aaaaanyways…This will most likely be either the penultimate chapter, or the third to last chapter. I can't quite decide yet. BUT IT'S NEARING ITS ENDING GUYS. CELEBRATE OR MOURN.

I'm sort of celebrating . . .

* * *

**3****rd**** Person POV**

"Kenspeckle please let me go!" Valkyrie pleaded. "I checked out perfectly fine except for the ribs! Please? I'm perfectly healthy!"

"Except for the fact that you just recovered miraculously and could at any moment drop dead, yes, you're fine," he argued back. "I don't care how marvelous you feel, you are staying here. That is that." He looked over at Valkyrie, who was seated on the clean bed, with her best puppy dog eyes on. "Those will not work on me, Valkyrie Cain. Stop trying."

He heard her sigh, then some sheets rustling. He felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Seamus. "She looks okay to me," he said. "I think she's alright for now."

"You have to learn to not fall so hard, Seamus," the professor scolded him. Seamus nodded. "Valkyrie, you may go on a few conditions," he said sternly. "You must return without any possible fatal wounds. No missing limbs, teeth, concussions, etc. Broken bones are okay as long as it's only from your arms or ribs. Anything else, you will not be able to do anything for another month."

He watched her face turn to one of disgust, but light back up slightly again. "So that means I can go and kick ass?!"

"Yes. You may go and kick ass, Valkyrie," he smiled tiredly. She grinned and hugged him tightly, then Seamus. Tanith, Ghastly, and Scapegrace were all standing at the doors, waiting for her. All four rushed out in a flourish, desperate to save their friends.

"Howdy!" Sanguine said cheerfully. "Come with me, if you please." Fletcher and Skulduggery looked up at him blankly.

"We're tired," Fletcher sighed.

"Yes. And these handcuffs really are cutting into my bones. It's uncomfortable," Skulduggery piped in. "And it would do nothing for us to come with you."

"I don't think so, skeleton! Someone's here to see you two. They're just _dying _to see you again."

The two prisoners shared a quick glance.

_Valkyrie? _

"They said they really want to kill you, and I want to see that happen, so could you _please _come with me?" Sanguine asked, his patience was slipping. Skulduggery and Fletcher stood up shakily, then were willingly led outside from the underground prison. No one was there, except for a lone figure standing by the lake.

It was indeed, Valkyrie Cain.

She had her arms crossed across her chest, glaring at the two. She had dark red stains on her chin and neck, from _someone's _blood. Her dark hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, with strands framing her face.

But something still seemed off. Something was different about her.

After a few moments, Valkyrie broke contact and raced up to Skulduggery.

"Be brave," she said loudly, "Skulduggery Pleasant, and fight me. Let's see if we can kill each other."

She smirked and gripped the skeleton by his collar. She swung him backwards, back into the trees. He collided with a large tree branch high up in the trees, and remained there for a moment. It was only a second until Valkyrie jumped down from the air.

Skulduggery didn't bother to wonder how she had done that. "Valkyrie!"

"_Shh_!" she commanded. He looked at her in surprise. "Thanks for almost killing me, I appreciate that." Skulduggery realized she was completely with him. "A quick low down: Tanith and Ghastly found me, I almost ate Ghastly, Kenspeckle filtered out all salt water from my system, I drank two gallons of blood, Kenspeckle began filtering out the vampire blood, then I threw up the blood, then realized who I was, and then finally, Kenspeckle put the vampire blood back into me, much against his wishes."

"So…" Skulduggery paused and thought that over. "You're still a vampire?"

"Correct." She smiled. "But I'm not trying to kill you. I'm right as rain up in my head there. It's just here to give me an extra boost for everything, and I must say, I'm actually kinda liking it. I can run really fast and jump really high. I like it! Anyway," she sighed, "we have to get back and fight so everyone of them will think that we're trying to kill each other. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" He saluted her, then jumped from the tree, and began running. Valkyrie gave him a head start, then sprinted across the tree tops. She reached the clearing at the same time he did, and swung her fist at him. Skulduggery dodged it and punched her in the stomach. He elbowed her neck and kicked her leg.

Valkyrie snarled and grabbed his arm, swinging him around. The skeleton went hurtling, crashing into Fletcher. Valkyrie pounced upon them both and lightly stomped on Fletcher's fingers. She gave him a look, before being knocked away by Skulduggery. She landed on top of the doors. Skulduggery towered over her and grabbed her jacket. He lifted her in the air, allowing himself to be kicked in the hips.

Valkyrie grabbed his arm and twisted hard. Skulduggery yelled out in pain, then fell down. She came up closer to him, snarling, growling. She was about to go in for a huge blow when a slow clap began.

Valkyrie shot her head up and looked around for whoever was there. Soon, vampires began piling out of the trees. Dusk and Julien landed in front of them.

"We're not fooled Valkyrie," Dusk said, "we know you know who you are. It was rather obvious. So please stop fighting."

"As impressive as that was," Julien scoffed, "we need you to stop. It's pointless." He turned around suddenly and waved his hand around. Three men came up, dragging Tanith, Ghastly, and Scapegrace behind them. Tanith smiled at Valkyrie and waved. Valkyrie waved back.

"Cute," Sanguine said as he popped out of the earth. Jones Hall popped up right next him, morphed as Fletcher. He smiled and changed back to his normal self. They grabbed Valkyrie and Skulduggery, while Julien grabbed Fletcher. They were all thrown in a pile with the other three.

Dusk stepped up to the six. He raised his arms. "_Fight_!"

And the fighting began.

* * *

The End.

HA JUST KIDDING.

READ ON.

* * *

Ghastly reacted the quickest. He stood up, knocking everyone down again. He went barreling away towards some vampires. They were all standing there, staring at nothing, looking particularly bored. He swung his fists and threw fire.

Meanwhile, Tanith and Valkyrie had teamed up and were slicing and destroying vampires left and right. Tanith would conk one on the head with the hilt of her sword while Valkyrie kicked their legs out. Tanith ran up ahead and sliced a few vampires apart. Valkyrie clawed them with her nails.

Skulduggery kicked the vampire he had a hold of and threw him clear across the clearing. He saw two men with gas masks on, escaping with two large vampires, but he paid them no mind. They had a battle to win, and no way were they going to lose.

* * *

**Valkyrie's POV**

I jumped and kicked someone across their jaw, and raked my nails into someone else's skin. Someone shrieked in pain and grabbed my leg and tried to snap it in half. I shook free and punched them in the nose. There was a sickening crunch, followed by more screaming. I looked up and realized I was fighting Sanguine. He snarled and grabbed my arm, bending it at an awkward angle. Soon I felt the familiar feeling of the earth falling beneath my feet.

We appeared in the underground prison a few moments later. The Texan released me and sunk away. I crouched down low, expecting the worst. I heard a door slam and soft footsteps. Suddenly, someone had jumped on my back and was holding a knife to my neck.

"Hi there…Bug-a-boo," Lion Log hissed. He was a short and fat man with purple hair all across his body. From what I could tell, he had on a different pair of overalls, this time they were hot pink. The knife that was pressed to my throat, I realized was Sanguine's razor. I swallowed, but stopped when the knife got pressed to my neck farther. I could feel small amounts of blood trickle down my neck to my shirt.

"Bug-a-boo!" Log said excitedly. "How have you been? I've missed you, child. It was quite lonely without you and your lot chasing after me. That was a really fun game. Maybe we could play it again. And instead of killing a family member, I'll kill your creepy friends. I sure did like that blonde woman. She sure was _perty_… Well. Enough of this chit-chat. I was asked to kill you, so let's get on with the killing."

I was completely frozen. This guy had given me nightmares everyday of my life since my parent's died. I was completely terrified of him. I heard him cackle, and remove the knife from my neck. He crawled down from my back, inching toward the ground. I felt his arms wrap around my legs and flip me on my stomach.

I didn't make any movements to move. There was a rustling sound, then I could feel him pulling the sleeve of my jacket up.

"Now," he whispered, "I'm going to give you a nice big slice on your wrist here. It'll be like a memory for you. Reminding you about your parents. Reminding you about how you shamefully cut yourself. It'll be there for the world to see. I'm sure Mr. Bones will love it." He cackled again and pressed the knife up against me. I whimpered. He laughed again. I looked up slightly, and saw someone magically appear. Fletcher.

I took a deep breath and reached my other arm around, clutching the knife. I grabbed it with as much force as I could and yanked it away. Log went flying across the room, slamming into the wall. He slid down further and I noticed a trail of blood from his head. I didn't bother to watch as Jones Hall transformed back into himself. I'd seen it enough.

Instead, I ran to Fletcher. I slammed into him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and crushing my lips to his. I could tell he was taken aback, but soon his arms came to wrap around my waist and pull me closer. He sighed into my mouth.

"You alright?" he asked softly. "Good thing I forced the answer out of Sanguine, eh?"

I smiled. "Yes. Thank you."

He licked his lips. "You taste like blood," he said slowly. "Anything you want to tell me?"

"I am technically still a vampire," I smiled. "But it's a long story that I'll tell you about later, alright?" He nodded and gripped me tighter.

In a blink, we were back at the clearing. Tanith and Ghastly were kicking and slicing everyone insight. Skulduggery was going up against Dusk. Scapegrace was running around, distracting as many people as he could. I smiled at my friends. Suddenly, I felt Fletcher's warm arms slip from my waist as he teleported across the way to give Skulduggery a hand.

I smiled and was suddenly knocked away. Sanguine was behind me, smirking. His sunglasses had been knocked off, revealing the blank black wholes where his eyes used to be. He was towering over me, like I was his prey. He lowered himself over me and made to whisper in my ear.

"We'll all be back, ya here?" he said. I scrunched my eyebrows up as he disappeared through the dirt. I shot up from the ground and looked around. Tanith and Ghastly were supporting each other, blood on their clothes. Scapegrace was on the ground, huddled into a ball. Fletcher and Skulduggery were standing, staring at the forest as the last vampire scampered away.

Well. That was anticlimactic.

* * *

Yeeeeeah. Sorry about that. This does sort of suck. You can say that freely. I just _really _wanted to upload this. Really badly. This isn't at all like that totally kick ass final battle to HP and the Death Hallows...but oh well. We can't _all _be J.K. Rowling!

And I don't really know about Sanguine's line. _Maybe _he'll be back, and maybe he won't. Who knows? I sure as hell don't!

Well, I'm sorry this is horrible, but I hope you at least semi-enjoyed it! :DD

Sorry for mistakes guys!


	17. Quite Possibly The End

* * *

"See!" Valkyrie exclaimed. "I didn't break any of your rules you set for me. I am almost perfectly fine."

"Except for you still being a vampire and bleeding in various places," Kenspeckle grumbled back. "Hold still. This might hurt." He grabbed a needle from the table and stuck it into Valkyrie's forearm slowly. She winced from the stinging pain, but it went away after a few moments. She rubbed the cut on her arm and took a sip of blood mixed with water. It tasted really good to her.

Beside her, Fletcher winced as Seamus moved around his broken arm and wrist. He injected a bright orange liquid into Fletcher's bloodstream, followed by another shot with yellow liquid. Valkyrie gently squeezed his hand. He looked over at her with tired eyes, but smiled brightly nonetheless.

They looked back at Tanith, who was squirming uncomfortably in the wrappings around her thigh. "Do they have to be this tight?" she half-whined.

"Unless you want to bleed to death," Kenspeckle absentmindedly answered.

She frowned, but stopped fidgeting. Ghastly was beside her, with wrappings around his arms. He reached his hand to grasp hers. They both smiled and blushed.

In the corner, was Skulduggery. He was sans jacket and the first few buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned to fix his bones. He had two broken ribs and one collarbone had snapped in half. He made a whimpering sound as Kenspeckle came over to poke the bones.

"Is that necessary?" he huffed. "Because it hurts. Like hell."

"Unless you want to remain broken and tired, then shut up," the professor argued back. "Hold still and don't make a sound." He gripped one rib bone and twisted it in a way that produced a sickening crunch. Skulduggery's head titled uncomfortably as he tried not to hit something.

After a few more crunches and snaps, he was fixed, minus the slight pain. Skulduggery tottered over to Valkyrie, who was playing with her hair.

"A penny for your thoughts," Skulduggery said softly. He looked across the room to Fletcher, who was asleep. Tanith and Ghastly were sitting comfortably, arms entwined with each other's.

"Just thinking about my parents…" she responded. Skulduggery nodded and hugged her shoulders.

"Well," he whispered, "they're probably fine wherever they are. And they're probably also yelling at you forgetting hurt, but that's besides the point."

Valkyrie chuckled slightly. "You are turning into such a sap, you know that?"

"I try my best, Valkyrie," he smiled. She rolled her eyes and soon let her mind drift again. . .

* * *

_Valkyrie listened to the hushed whispers of her friends. Someone coughed. A clatter and a clank. She knew they were talking about her. It had been a few months since the _incident. _She had not stepped out of Gordon's house since, except for the funeral. Even when the lawyer called and requested she come to the will reading, Valkyrie would not move from Gordon's study. _

_She took a deep breath and stepped around the doorway to the kitchen. All talking ceased. _

"_Heya, Val," Tanith smiled. "Hungry?" _

_She nodded and went to making toast. The silence was almost unbearable. _

"_Well," Skulduggery said as cheerfully as he could, "I need to go to the Sanctuary. Guild wants to talk to me." _

"_I can only imagine what that's about," Ghastly muttered darkly. _

_Skulduggery nodded. "Until later," he said and tipped his hat. He turned to leave until he heard a clatter and a, "Wait!" He turned and looked at Valkyrie. In fact, everyone was looking at her. _

"_Um." She picked the knife up from the floor. "Could I…Could I-I come with you?" Her eyes cast downward, avoiding everyone's gaze. She finally lifted her eyes to look at Skulduggery. Though he had no face, she could tell he was happy. _

"_Of course. We can make fun of Crux while we're there." _

_And for the first time in six months, Valkyrie Cain smiled.

* * *

_

Valkyrie smiled at the memory and looked over at everyone. Fletcher was snoring slightly. Tanith and Ghastly had gotten closer and were laying against each other. She looked beside herself at Skulduggery, who was staring intently at his hat.

"Anything interesting there?" she asked playfully.

"No, but I'm counting the threads. It's fascinating." He chuckled as Valkyrie hit his arm.

"Hey," she said after a few minutes, "do you think we're out of the danger zone for now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like, are people going to randomly attack us or something? Because I don't know about you, but I'm really exhausted."

"Well Valkyrie," he said, "we'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

Meh. Not so great ending line. But you know me and my endings! XD

IT IS DONE PEOPLE. THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER. SAD OR HAPPY? DO TELL PLEASE.

Before I hit that little "Complete" button, I want to say thank you. You guys are super fantastic and so supportive. I probably couldn't and wouldn't have continued this without your hilarious and nice reviews. You guys are the nicest people ever and I hope we'll have lots of fun…story times later! X3 So thanks for giving this story a shot and keeping up with it, even after I took that long hiatus thing. I love you all. Thank you!

Thanks for reading all the way and reviewing! You guys have made my day for so long! And I'm sorry for any mistakes here!

:DDDD


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